Bayardo.arc
it’s never over
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2025
- Posts
- 235
- Reputation
- 180
just gonna rant here because my friends are tired of my shit and honestly i am too, it’s been a little more than 2 years since i last saw who i still consider is the loml (not even talked to just seeing her)
we met about 3 years ago and it was just like meeting any other girl at the start, i just wanted to crack bc she’s beautiful but i couldn’t cause she was dating a guy at the time (a complete subhuman) but i still talked to her because she was actually a really nice girl, eventually i started liking her like, not just to crack but for her to be my gf, i think she noticed cause she stopped talking to this other guy just to talk to me, i don’t know why cause i was ugly asf and fat (still don’t look the best but deff look a lot better) the point here is we started dating and not so long after, we had a lot of problems in the process of talking tho. We stopped talking, she hung out with her exes i hung out with other girls but eventually ended up back together until one day on summer 2024 she went on a FAMILY TRIP not even a girls trip she literally went with her whole family to an all inclusive hotel, long story short she cheated on me and didn’t ever tell me. I instantly found out because i have friends in a lot of states in my country, with a lot of contacts so i got some of them to hang out with her without telling her their were friends of mine just to keep an eye on her, not even to tell me if she did anything bad. I thought she loved me enough not to and wasn’t even a possibility or a concern in my mind but she did, i never told her i knew, i just kinda let it fly although it did affect me badly (i suffer from severe depression and i already did before her) but i knew i couldn’t live without her. I guess she felt guilty or something and decided to break up with me shortly after, not before my friends trip to miami tho because she knew i would fuck someone else if she did but she used as an excuse something that i did like 6 months prior to that, told me her parents didn’t like me at all (wich we already knew and mine didn’t like her either) and just decided to end things between us. I told her i understood and that i would keep my promise to be there for her forever, whenever, for whatever and just stopped talking for a while.
Like a month later (august 2024) people started making shit up about her and just loosing all her friends (wich she didn’t have when i knew her and literally made all her reputation around my persona) so me, being the dumb hopeless lover i used to be, decided to help her, i went to her house told her i wasn’t trying to convince her to be with me but i didn’t like seeing her walk the hallways sad and alone so i could help her stopping all these rumors and getting her reputation back to the clean one she had. Obviously she took the chance and told me all her problems, i literally fixed half of those problems right there with her with a couple calls, before leaving she told me she wanted to keep trying to sort things out with me and keep dating me but she wanted it to be “lowkey” cause she “had a lot of people trying to see her fall” and “didn’t want them to get in our way” i obviously said i also did, kissed her, left and solver the other half of her problems in the next couple days. that friday THAT EXACT FRIDAY (august 31st) we had a party (wich she was invited only cause i solved her shit) and long story short told me she was ashamed to be seen with me, she was mad at me because i defended her from a guy picking on her (i got a little too aggressive with him) and didn’t want to talk to me. I was really hurt and told her i hated her, that she always treated me like shit and all i did was help her be who she was, and that the thing i hated the most was that i couldn’t hate her, not at all, not even a little bit. Left the party angry as fuck, literally got everyone there to leave, made a big ass scene and got on my car and tried to end it by crashing into a truck, i survived (¿luckily?) and woke up in a hospital bed a few hours later. I was put in a mental hospital for being a suicidal bitch (3rd attempt in a year, but that was the only one anyone knew about since it was the only “crazy” one) and being a hazard for me and others, didn’t hear anything from the outside world for about 2 months. all i did those two months was right here poems (i could post some but they’re in spanish) and 3 full notebooks just “talking to her” First thing i did when i got out was cut my hair, shave, buy a shit ton of flowers and go to her house to give her plus the poems, notebooks, drawings and other shit. Not even for her to get back with me although i would’ve loved that, just to tell her i’m sorry, obviously she didn’t pick up the phone, i probably made her feel like shit for a while because everyone knew i had crashed after that party plus it looked obvious it was on purpose. So i just left the gifts there and sent her some voice notes explaining what each thing was and telling her i was sorry. I got a reply like 8 hours later telling me “thank you for the gifts, glad to know you’re ok” and didn’t talk to her ever again just saw her a couple times at party’s and shit because i had to leave school and lost all my status, my “friends”, my pride my respect because of my dumb decision. It’s been over two years since the last time i saw her. I live in another state, changed a fuck ton (mentally) for the better on most things and haven’t been in her state in almost a year, she has a boyfriend and is happy now, wich is all i wanted her to be with me. i still cry over her some times, i think about her all day every day, i miss her with every inch of my being. i’ve went out with a lot of girls since, kissed some, fucked some but never felt anything remotely close to what i felt and still feel for her and probably never will, i don’t feel the desire to meet anyone new, i just do because it’s what im used to. But i haven’t felt myself ever since she left me for her own good. I am so tired of this shit i literally cba to care about anything anymore, i just live on autopilot and don’t know what to do anymore
we met about 3 years ago and it was just like meeting any other girl at the start, i just wanted to crack bc she’s beautiful but i couldn’t cause she was dating a guy at the time (a complete subhuman) but i still talked to her because she was actually a really nice girl, eventually i started liking her like, not just to crack but for her to be my gf, i think she noticed cause she stopped talking to this other guy just to talk to me, i don’t know why cause i was ugly asf and fat (still don’t look the best but deff look a lot better) the point here is we started dating and not so long after, we had a lot of problems in the process of talking tho. We stopped talking, she hung out with her exes i hung out with other girls but eventually ended up back together until one day on summer 2024 she went on a FAMILY TRIP not even a girls trip she literally went with her whole family to an all inclusive hotel, long story short she cheated on me and didn’t ever tell me. I instantly found out because i have friends in a lot of states in my country, with a lot of contacts so i got some of them to hang out with her without telling her their were friends of mine just to keep an eye on her, not even to tell me if she did anything bad. I thought she loved me enough not to and wasn’t even a possibility or a concern in my mind but she did, i never told her i knew, i just kinda let it fly although it did affect me badly (i suffer from severe depression and i already did before her) but i knew i couldn’t live without her. I guess she felt guilty or something and decided to break up with me shortly after, not before my friends trip to miami tho because she knew i would fuck someone else if she did but she used as an excuse something that i did like 6 months prior to that, told me her parents didn’t like me at all (wich we already knew and mine didn’t like her either) and just decided to end things between us. I told her i understood and that i would keep my promise to be there for her forever, whenever, for whatever and just stopped talking for a while.
Like a month later (august 2024) people started making shit up about her and just loosing all her friends (wich she didn’t have when i knew her and literally made all her reputation around my persona) so me, being the dumb hopeless lover i used to be, decided to help her, i went to her house told her i wasn’t trying to convince her to be with me but i didn’t like seeing her walk the hallways sad and alone so i could help her stopping all these rumors and getting her reputation back to the clean one she had. Obviously she took the chance and told me all her problems, i literally fixed half of those problems right there with her with a couple calls, before leaving she told me she wanted to keep trying to sort things out with me and keep dating me but she wanted it to be “lowkey” cause she “had a lot of people trying to see her fall” and “didn’t want them to get in our way” i obviously said i also did, kissed her, left and solver the other half of her problems in the next couple days. that friday THAT EXACT FRIDAY (august 31st) we had a party (wich she was invited only cause i solved her shit) and long story short told me she was ashamed to be seen with me, she was mad at me because i defended her from a guy picking on her (i got a little too aggressive with him) and didn’t want to talk to me. I was really hurt and told her i hated her, that she always treated me like shit and all i did was help her be who she was, and that the thing i hated the most was that i couldn’t hate her, not at all, not even a little bit. Left the party angry as fuck, literally got everyone there to leave, made a big ass scene and got on my car and tried to end it by crashing into a truck, i survived (¿luckily?) and woke up in a hospital bed a few hours later. I was put in a mental hospital for being a suicidal bitch (3rd attempt in a year, but that was the only one anyone knew about since it was the only “crazy” one) and being a hazard for me and others, didn’t hear anything from the outside world for about 2 months. all i did those two months was right here poems (i could post some but they’re in spanish) and 3 full notebooks just “talking to her” First thing i did when i got out was cut my hair, shave, buy a shit ton of flowers and go to her house to give her plus the poems, notebooks, drawings and other shit. Not even for her to get back with me although i would’ve loved that, just to tell her i’m sorry, obviously she didn’t pick up the phone, i probably made her feel like shit for a while because everyone knew i had crashed after that party plus it looked obvious it was on purpose. So i just left the gifts there and sent her some voice notes explaining what each thing was and telling her i was sorry. I got a reply like 8 hours later telling me “thank you for the gifts, glad to know you’re ok” and didn’t talk to her ever again just saw her a couple times at party’s and shit because i had to leave school and lost all my status, my “friends”, my pride my respect because of my dumb decision. It’s been over two years since the last time i saw her. I live in another state, changed a fuck ton (mentally) for the better on most things and haven’t been in her state in almost a year, she has a boyfriend and is happy now, wich is all i wanted her to be with me. i still cry over her some times, i think about her all day every day, i miss her with every inch of my being. i’ve went out with a lot of girls since, kissed some, fucked some but never felt anything remotely close to what i felt and still feel for her and probably never will, i don’t feel the desire to meet anyone new, i just do because it’s what im used to. But i haven’t felt myself ever since she left me for her own good. I am so tired of this shit i literally cba to care about anything anymore, i just live on autopilot and don’t know what to do anymore
