M
mojopin
It’s all fucking satire
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2018
- Posts
- 2,167
- Reputation
- 3,630
From what I've learned, I have two main options to ascend: become gay/transgender or become attractive af, which is why I'm happy to announce that I am transitioning.
Wouldn't that be fucking crazy? Except I'm not fucking gay so that would be a bit of a problem. Therefore, I present to you, my plan to become a sexy cunt from top to bottom:
HAIR
I have at least another six months of hairgrowth before I can stop looking like Eleven from stranger things and not only have beautiful curls, but also fraud normalish face proportions. Next haircut: JUNE 2019
ME vs THE LITTLE GIRL
EYEBROWS
There's about fuck all I can do apart from castor oil and if I use minoxidil now, the time might come when I need it for my hair and my body has already become frigid to absorbing minoxidil. If they improve hair transplants at a cheaper price in the future then I shall reconsider. If not, I have fuck all to worry about for the time being. Also, I was dropped as a baby, resulting in a thick scar across my right eyebrow which now just makes them look asymmetrical (insert joke here about having a fucked up brain as a result).
EYES
I have slight upper eyelid exposure, but that's not good enough. So long as it doesn't fuck up your face in the long run, upper eyelid fillers are the one, see below:
In some photos of me, like the one posted at the top, my slight facial asymmetry gives the effect of NCT, which can mean only one thing: get lateral canthoplexy or fix asymmetries and hope they return to normal.
NOSE
I need your help guys. Whilst it is one of my more masculine features, it also has grown slightly downward like an eagle or some shit. Either I get rhino in 2020, or I never consider it. So as of yet it remains unsolved. Side-note: this was before I found the right shampoo for my hair, and it looks pretty dead, so to the reader, spend a fair amount of money on the right shampoo for your hair or continue to be a basic bitch.
LIPS (IMPORTANT)
Two words. LIP LIFT. That philtrum's not gonna lift itself and quite frankly makes me a midfacecel. Mewing will do the rest of the work.
CHIN
Rn it's pretty fucking pointy, but has gotten better recently. I have about a year to see chin development before I decide to have implants or not. But this is slightly minor as long as it gives harmony to my face.
JAW
Take what I've learnt about mewing and FUCKING RUN WITH IT. Don't be a little bitch complaining about tongue posture hurting and not being able to breathe, because right now my improper development is hurting others eyes more. Astro said his ramus only developed when he started mewing, and look at him now. If tis doesn't happen to me then some subtle implants will do the trick. But let yourself not be deceived. 80% of the time jaw implants look fucking horrendous when matched with a tiny palate, so save up some money and meet Dr Mew if you can, although that may be a complete fucking waste of money if I see improvements before then.
NECK
Special thanks to @Nibba for his guide to necktraining, because from a psl perspective, pencil neck is really quite repulsive. Thank fuck correcting forward head posture has made quite the difference already.
BODY
No more fucking excuses about living too far from a gym. You've bought a full calisthenics set (chin-up bar, dips bar etc) as well as some weights which will get me going until Christmas when father shall gift money to use for gym equipment. You know the physique, now go and lift. After all, it's the best cope out there. Sean Triffet's natty physique below:
SOCIAL LIFE
Stop judging people, and be a better person. Never turn your back on friends and most of all, now you've got that girl's interest don't let the chavvy cunt take her first. And never turn down the opportunity for a night out. I mean, there's no point sitting behind a computer complaining about your problems 24/7 as then you'll still have the same problems, except you'll also develop mild autism and possibly cancer from some of the shit on here. Master your niche and never doubt yourself or you'll end up looking like a beta cuckboy.
OTHER
Most importantly, always strive to have a purpose.
Also, this post is mostly for myself, however feel free to add anything, although I don't want this to be an excuse to share more photos of myself because I'm not @TakaRyo or @JustChris
Wouldn't that be fucking crazy? Except I'm not fucking gay so that would be a bit of a problem. Therefore, I present to you, my plan to become a sexy cunt from top to bottom:
HAIR
I have at least another six months of hairgrowth before I can stop looking like Eleven from stranger things and not only have beautiful curls, but also fraud normalish face proportions. Next haircut: JUNE 2019
ME vs THE LITTLE GIRL
EYEBROWS
There's about fuck all I can do apart from castor oil and if I use minoxidil now, the time might come when I need it for my hair and my body has already become frigid to absorbing minoxidil. If they improve hair transplants at a cheaper price in the future then I shall reconsider. If not, I have fuck all to worry about for the time being. Also, I was dropped as a baby, resulting in a thick scar across my right eyebrow which now just makes them look asymmetrical (insert joke here about having a fucked up brain as a result).
EYES
I have slight upper eyelid exposure, but that's not good enough. So long as it doesn't fuck up your face in the long run, upper eyelid fillers are the one, see below:
In some photos of me, like the one posted at the top, my slight facial asymmetry gives the effect of NCT, which can mean only one thing: get lateral canthoplexy or fix asymmetries and hope they return to normal.
NOSE
I need your help guys. Whilst it is one of my more masculine features, it also has grown slightly downward like an eagle or some shit. Either I get rhino in 2020, or I never consider it. So as of yet it remains unsolved. Side-note: this was before I found the right shampoo for my hair, and it looks pretty dead, so to the reader, spend a fair amount of money on the right shampoo for your hair or continue to be a basic bitch.
LIPS (IMPORTANT)
Two words. LIP LIFT. That philtrum's not gonna lift itself and quite frankly makes me a midfacecel. Mewing will do the rest of the work.
CHIN
Rn it's pretty fucking pointy, but has gotten better recently. I have about a year to see chin development before I decide to have implants or not. But this is slightly minor as long as it gives harmony to my face.
JAW
Take what I've learnt about mewing and FUCKING RUN WITH IT. Don't be a little bitch complaining about tongue posture hurting and not being able to breathe, because right now my improper development is hurting others eyes more. Astro said his ramus only developed when he started mewing, and look at him now. If tis doesn't happen to me then some subtle implants will do the trick. But let yourself not be deceived. 80% of the time jaw implants look fucking horrendous when matched with a tiny palate, so save up some money and meet Dr Mew if you can, although that may be a complete fucking waste of money if I see improvements before then.
NECK
Special thanks to @Nibba for his guide to necktraining, because from a psl perspective, pencil neck is really quite repulsive. Thank fuck correcting forward head posture has made quite the difference already.
BODY
No more fucking excuses about living too far from a gym. You've bought a full calisthenics set (chin-up bar, dips bar etc) as well as some weights which will get me going until Christmas when father shall gift money to use for gym equipment. You know the physique, now go and lift. After all, it's the best cope out there. Sean Triffet's natty physique below:
SOCIAL LIFE
Stop judging people, and be a better person. Never turn your back on friends and most of all, now you've got that girl's interest don't let the chavvy cunt take her first. And never turn down the opportunity for a night out. I mean, there's no point sitting behind a computer complaining about your problems 24/7 as then you'll still have the same problems, except you'll also develop mild autism and possibly cancer from some of the shit on here. Master your niche and never doubt yourself or you'll end up looking like a beta cuckboy.
OTHER
Most importantly, always strive to have a purpose.
Also, this post is mostly for myself, however feel free to add anything, although I don't want this to be an excuse to share more photos of myself because I'm not @TakaRyo or @JustChris