Good social skills but still severe social anxiety

[TrestIsBest]

It's fucking weird, I can hold conversations with new people I meet very well, usually they won't shut the fuck up talking to me because they enjoy the conversation so much. So I can't really be an autist, can I? But when I'm taking a walk or hitting the gym, oftentimes I feel like fucking prey being hunted by a lion, every eye contact makes my eye muscles and my whole body tense up and shit. It's completely fucked. Also can't bring myself to approach when I get eyefucked (if I don't dress like a hobo, this happens quite often, though the girls doing it are mostly not attractive enough for my standards). Feels like my amygdala is extremely overactive.

 

[TrestIsBest]

Inb4 someone posting the mushroom thread

 

[Vermilioncore]

I can talk to strangers fine but I can’t talk to people I know or even look them in the eye: it’s weird….I don’t know what this means. I feel uncomfortable around people I known all my life and feel very comfortable around strangers. It’s because they don’t know me….the people who know me have a “image” or “persona” which they identify as being “me” so it gives me anxiety

 

[TrestIsBest]

I can talk to strangers fine but I can’t talk to people I know or even look them in the eye: it’s weird….I don’t know what this means. I feel uncomfortable around people I known all my life and feel very comfortable around strangers. It’s because they don’t know me….the people who know me have a “image” or “persona” which they identify as being “me” so it gives me anxiety

Strange, so you are basically having the opposite issue that I'm having. We should both rope probably

 

[Vermilioncore]

Strange, so you are basically having the opposite issue that I'm having. We should both rope probably

We should

 

[Deleted member 15129]

I can do VERY well if there's someone else I know with me, otherwise I tend to try and not stand out

 

[AlexAP]

Same, I sometimes doubt that I'm a natural introvert, I think I just have social anxiety. If I wouldn't have this problem, I'm sure I would genuinely enjoy going out more, I don't find it stressful or difficult to hold a conversation.

 

[TrestIsBest]

I can do VERY well if there's someone else I know with me, otherwise I tend to try and not stand out

Yup same. But the person I'm with needs to be either a female or a person I consider cool/socially inept.

 

[Deleted member 15129]

Yup same. But the person I'm with needs to be either a female or a person I consider cool/socially inept.

I just need a person who will guarantee laugh at what I say, my jokes, etc. Also someone to make sure what I'm saying isn't illegal or retarded. JFL I envy normal people so much they don't need that shit.

 

[TrestIsBest]

Same, I sometimes doubt that I'm a natural introvert, I think I just have social anxiety. If I wouldn't have this problem, I'm sure I would genuinely enjoy going out more, I don't find it stressful or difficult to hold a conversation.

Yeh, it's fucked and I don't really know the solution this.

Although, one thing that comes to mind is that maybe we just are/feel low status and therefore super sensitive to strangers reactions. That would also explain why having a friend with you negates this anxiety.

 

[TrestIsBest]

Basically feeling low status -> increased cortisol -> increased social anxiety. Could be as simple as that

 

[AlexAP]

Yeh, it's fucked and I don't really know the solution this.

Although, one thing that comes to mind is that maybe we just are/feel low status and therefore super sensitive to strangers reactions. That would also explain why having a friend with you negates this anxiety.

Basically feeling low status -> increased cortisol -> increased social anxiety. Could be as simple as that

Yes, oversensitive to the reactions of others (especially negative reactions). Social anxiety is literally self-shame.

 

[TrestIsBest]

Yes, oversensitive to the reactions of others (especially negative reactions). Social anxiety is literally self-shame.

SOMETIMES I actually feel the opposite way and it's like instead of my brain trying to register all the negative reactions it focuses on all the positive ones. If I felt this way all of the time, I would be at a much better place.

 

[Deleted member 14543]

It's fucking weird, I can hold conversations with new people I meet very well, usually they won't shut the fuck up talking to me because they enjoy the conversation so much. So I can't really be an autist, can I? But when I'm taking a walk or hitting the gym, oftentimes I feel like fucking prey being hunted by a lion, every eye contact makes my eye muscles and my whole body tense up and shit. It's completely fucked. Also can't bring myself to approach when I get eyefucked (if I don't dress like a hobo, this happens quite often, though the girls doing it are mostly not attractive enough for my standards). Feels like my amygdala is extremely overactive.

your either insecure about your looks -> become better looking
or
your insecure about your ability to fight if someone tried -> do powerlifting and mma

 

[Need2Ascend]

Social anxiety is mainly caused by physical inferiority I would say. I can't imagine myself being anxious around anyone if I was tall with a wide robust well developed facial bone structure tbh

 

[TrestIsBest]

Social anxiety is mainly caused by physical inferiority I would say. I can't imagine myself being anxious around anyone if I was tall with a wide robust well developed facial bone structure tbh

Yeah you are probably right, if I were happy with my facial structure, I'd mostly be not concerned about looks from strangers because I'd know they find me attractive.