How can I ascend?

scardicam

scardicam

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Im so insecure about my looks and I feel like the only way I can be less insecure is if I go out of my way and make myself more beautiful. For context im 5'11 195lbs and wasian. I dont struggle finding love; I get flirted with a lot by strangers and I have a girl whom im exclusive with so I really am not worried there. But I dont like how I look sometimes and I really want to ascend even though just about everyone tells me I have "nothing to be insecure about" I hate it. I hate myself so much. I wish I could kill myself sometimes, even though my life is genuinely good.
IMG 3277
IMG 3359
IMG 3317

I mean this is how I look like. Idk i wanna ascend. Ive been told by people that im attractive but idk i feel like theres always something i can fix idk what to do. I hate myself sometimes.
IMG 3096
 

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