I had this dream that made me question if i should live or not...

[JihadCelReborn]

it was about the foid that rejected me from earlier. i was at a party at first and wanted to test my ability to talk to meet girls. At one point i was like fuck it and decided to talk to the girl in the center of the room, her name was "katie" but that wasn't her name irl. i said "hey katie" and she replied with "hey bud!". We sat on a couch and i went in for a hug but she rejected saying that she can't have hugs because she was raped by four different guys and has ptsd from it, despite this i manage to eventually get a hug from her. Now i have forgotten much of this "perfect" dream so this thread is going to be short. when the party was over, she talks about crosswing some river as apart of meeting up and contacting her.

At one point she whispers into my ear that she is into me and that she wants me. (as if). finally, there is a weird part of the dream where she literally drives a tank to do something weird and breaks sown a fence. At the end of the dream she decides not to meet up and it was over between us. the end (fuck!) Any way. this makes me want to die because if i can only experience something in a dream and not irl then what is the point of "living"? Why should i live? why? when nothing i have lived through and experienced was worth living through and experiencing? why? i wish that when i die, i could live in a dream like this where everything is okay.