I went out with my female friend

[RAITEIII]

We were supposed to only have breakfast somewhere but she wanted to do soooo many things out of the blue that we lasted hours out there.

I appreciate that she's bothering to do those things, she suspects I barely go out but I instead of enjoying, felt like running away all long.

I don't like being around so much people for too long, I feel uncomfortable and alarmed. I had such a hard time, she even asked me why I was not talking lol...

I hate to know that I am not able to socialize the way most people do, even tho I want to.
It restrains me of good friendship and all sort of things because at some point they would think something is off with me by certain ways I may behave, like this one.

I cannot point our exactly why it happens, neither now how to fix it :/

I am always told something about not talking much, it sucks...

 

[Deleted member 2661]

d

 

[Heirio]

n

 

[UnderCovrN0rmie]

r

 

[Mansnob]

d

 

[RAITEIII]

.

 

[Deleted member 3299]

It is what it is

 

[auboutduprecipice]

mogs me because you have friends

 

[Heirio]

Actually decided to read, that sucks man.

 

[Deleted member 2969]

You will never breed

 

[Butthurt Dweller]

You have been given the death sentence. Now there is only ER

 

[Deleted member 2810]

You will never breed

I will never read

 

[autistic_tendencies]

Friends with female = voluntary cuck

 

[Sasaz2]

Search how to be nt stuff op
Sucks to be an aspie when you are sub8

 

[EckhartTollemaxx]

You should've talked to her about it she could've helped you.
Women as friends can help you with pretty much everything except getting sex afaik. I only have 1 female friend though, rest are friend's gf's.

 

[rockndogs]

You should've told her to fuck off and that you had better things to do

 

[godsmistake]

yeah, on the handful social gatherings that i have been invited to the reoccurring theme is that i am shy and don't talk. of course i don't talk when i have nothing interesting to say, i don't want to be a clown. also i never initiate because i don't want to make the other person uncomfortable, i already see that they become tense if they are near me. people that say: "just socialize more" don't know how mentally draining people just looking at you in a closed room is. i get angsty and want to leave. i always had the delusion that i will have friends that i can hang out with and go on adventures like in the movies, but that will never happen. i guess that it's my own fault that i grow to hate anyone that gets too close with me.

 

[Bewusst]

yeah, on the handful social gatherings that i have been invited to the reoccurring theme is that i am shy and don't talk. of course i don't talk when i have nothing interesting to say, i don't want to be a clown. also i never initiate because i don't want to make the other person uncomfortable, i already see that they become tense if they are near me. people that say: "just socialize more" don't know how mentally draining people just looking at you in a closed room is. i get angsty and want to leave. i always had the delusion that i will have friends that i can hang out with and go on adventures like in the movies, but that will never happen. i guess that it's my own fault that i grow to hate anyone that gets too close with me.

Can relate. I can't stand when people (strangers) look or stare at me beause I know how ugly I am. Also, I realized that there's only two reasons why people ever hung out with me in the past:
1. They felt sorry for me
2. They wanted sth (money etc.).
Never because they actually liked to or out of interest in me as a person.

 

[Avoidant]

Can relate. I can't stand when people (strangers) look or stare at me beause I know how ugly I am. Also, I realized that there's only two reasons why people ever hung out with me in the past:
1. They felt sorry for me
2. They wanted sth (money etc.).
Never because they actually liked to or out of interest in me as a person.

The vast majority of people only hang out with others because of number 2. That or they don't want to feel lonely.

 

[Bewusst]

The vast majority of people only hang out with others because of number 2. That or they don't want to feel lonely.

I don't think so. There's people others want to be around because they actually enjoy their company. Because being with them makes them feel better or because they like being associated with them. Because they see them as persons of value, to share thoughts and experiences with. Persons of equal or higher (social) value as/than they perceive their own to be.

 

[Avoidant]

I don't think so. There's people others want to be around because they actually enjoy their company. Because being with them makes them feel better or because they like being associated with them. Because they see them as persons of value, to share thoughts and experiences with. Persons of equal or higher (social) value as/than they perceive their own to be.

That's the same as getting something from the other person, it's just not a material object like money. All human relationships are transactional and all humans are ultimately selfish. These people that everyone wants to be around are still providing value for others, just in a different way.

 

[Bewusst]

That's the same as getting something from the other person, it's just not a material object like money. All human relationships are transactional and all humans are ultimately selfish. These people that everyone wants to be around are still providing value for others, just in a different way.

Water is wet. Ofc, everything we do is for ourselves (to some extend), even helping someone, to make ourselves feel better/useful, for example. But it seems to me like I've always had zero (social) value for others and always came last if there were other options/people available.
As I said, it was either that they simply felt sorry for me - I must give off a really poor, inferior vibe and I'm certain my looks are the biggest reason for this - or had noone else to turn to at that moment when they were bored to death, needed money or sth else.

 

[Avoidant]

Water is wet. Ofc, everything we do is for ourselves (to some extend), even helping someone, to make ourselves feel better/useful, for example. But it seems to me like I've always had zero (social) value for others and always came last if there were other options/people available.
As I said, it was either that they simply felt sorry for me - I must give off a really poor, inferior vibe and I'm certain my looks are the biggest reason for this - or had noone else to turn to at that moment when they were bored to death, needed money or sth else.

I definitely can relate to this but I think looks don't have a lot to do with it. Most of the fraternities at my school are filled with ugly dudes, even the top houses.

 

[Bewusst]

I definitely can relate to this but I think looks don't have a lot to do with it. Most of the fraternities at my school are filled with ugly dudes, even the top houses.

Yes, they do. To others you are what you look like. Your personality, character, value, everything is judged mostly by the way you look. The halo and horns effect doesn't just apply to dating and sexual attraction but to every single human interaction and relationship.

Also, don't forget that ugly =/= ugly. There's an infinite number of ways to look ugly.
Talking about myself, it's not that stereotypical 'fat, short, balding and acne' kind of ugly but a unique kind of ugly (in a bad way) that just differs from the known "uglies" you see every day. And people are attracted to familiarity and things they are used to (see), even familiar looking ugly people.
Ever wondered why u might find someone who lisps likeable? Familiarity. We're used to seeing/hearing people who lisp from time to time, it reminds us of our childhood where it was more common and creates a positive association. On the other hand, if you saw someone with thyroid eye disease whose eyes are bulging significantly, you would probably be repulsed instantly and try to avoid (looking at) that person. That's because thyroid eye disease with noticeable eye bulging is far less common than 'short, fat, acne and balding'.

It's all subconscious and instict. We're still animals.

 

[RAITEIII]

I've never had another breakdown like this after using lifts. Looks are everything.

 

[Deleted member 2661]

I've never had another breakdown like this after using lifts. Looks are everything.

Finally read, indeed brutal