Motivation Landwhales Are Superior Girlfriends

SHARK

SHARK

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There is literally ZERO advantage to dating a girl below 250ibs.

Let me outline some great advantages of landwhales that this subhuman could never provide:

300full.jpg


Disgusting. 🤮


1) Hurricane Proof

Hurricane winds can reach over 150 miles per hour!

giphy.gif


If youre dating some 100ib twink, she will be blown away like a tumbleweed.

Your “fit” twink girlfriends in a hurricane ⬇
giphy.gif


On the contrary, a landwhale is strong. Her feet secure her to the ground like a sturdy fire hydrant.

fire-hydrant-2200x1466.jpg


This thing isn’t gonna fucking budge no matter what category hurricane you throw at it.

2) Make You Healthier

If you have some fitness freak girlfriend like this:

R46lbPx.gif


She's only gonna eat salad 🥗 and leave your fridge full of junk food. You will give into your cravings and gain bf %, increasing facial bloat!


A land whale girlfriend will turn your pantry from this:

uysguha.jpg


TO THIS:

Pantry-2.jpg


And she'll do it so fast, by the time you want a snack from your last grocery shop, the pantry will already be empty! This will reduce your calorie intake thus decreasing bf% and sharpen your jawline.

3) Free Mattresses For Life!

With a girlfriend like this:

0_THP_CHp_270619Slug_1431JPG.jpg


Your bed will break so fast, you'll get a free mattress replacement with your warranty deal annually! Never sleep on worn out springs again!

4) Easily Beat Your Girlfriend And Get Away With It!

If you have a skinny, small girlfriend, she can easily dodge your punches and run away. Also, your punches will do more damage to her small, frail body, thus providing better evidence for the police 😮

5076418 6279435 image a 62 1539645654287



With a landwhale girlfriend, she is such a large target you can't miss! Also you can punch her all day and her fat will absorb your punches like a punching bag! She'll run so slow to the police and need so many water breaks, her bruises will be 100% healed by the time she arrives at the police station!

SpecificMadeupCavy size restricted



What are you waiting for? Get a landwhale gf now! Just 3 small payments of birthday cake 🍰🍰🍰 and you can have one today!

Look at this happy customer!

maxresdefault.jpg
 
D

Deleted member 1476

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i am going to get me a fat bitch
 
toolateforme

toolateforme

Again hoping that i don't wake up tomorrow..
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I tried to get landwhale white girl but I was too standardcel for that.
 
Petsmart

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XD HURRICANE PROOF
 
Deleted member 1560

Deleted member 1560

Defying destiny every minute
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OP really went from "Chasing Teen Love Experiences I Never Had" to "Landwhales Are Superior Girlfriends"
 
OldRooster

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Deleted member 2745

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ITS FUCKING OVER. DONE
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There is literally ZERO advantage to dating a girl below 250ibs.

Let me outline some great advantages of landwhales that this subhuman could never provide:

300full.jpg


Disgusting. 🤮


1) Hurricane Proof

Hurricane winds can reach over 150 miles per hour!

giphy.gif


If youre dating some 100ib twink, she will be blown away like a tumbleweed.

Your “fit” twink girlfriends in a hurricane ⬇
giphy.gif


On the contrary, a landwhale is strong. Her feet secure her to the ground like a sturdy fire hydrant.

fire-hydrant-2200x1466.jpg


This thing isn’t gonna fucking budge no matter what category hurricane you throw at it.

2) Make You Healthier

If you have some fitness freak girlfriend like this:

R46lbPx.gif


She's only gonna eat salad 🥗 and leave your fridge full of junk food. You will give into your cravings and gain bf %, increasing facial bloat!


A land whale girlfriend will turn your pantry from this:

uysguha.jpg


TO THIS:

Pantry-2.jpg


And she'll do it so fast, by the time you want a snack from your last grocery shop, the pantry will already be empty! This will reduce your calorie intake thus decreasing bf% and sharpen your jawline.

3) Free Mattresses For Life!

With a girlfriend like this:

0_THP_CHp_270619Slug_1431JPG.jpg


Your bed will break so fast, you'll get a free mattress replacement with your warranty deal annually! Never sleep on worn out springs again!

4) Easily Beat Your Girlfriend And Get Away With It!

If you have a skinny, small girlfriend, she can easily dodge your punches and run away. Also, your punches will do more damage to her small, frail body, thus providing better evidence for the police 😮

View attachment 137851


With a landwhale girlfriend, she is such a large target you can't miss! Also you can punch her all day and her fat will absorb your punches like a punching bag! She'll run so slow to the police and need so many water breaks, her bruises will be 100% healed by the time she arrives at the police station!

View attachment 137855


What are you waiting for? Get a landwhale gf now! Just 3 small payments of birthday cake 🍰🍰🍰 and you can have one today!

Look at this happy customer!

maxresdefault.jpg
20191018 085613
 
Dogs

Dogs

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Funny shit muh dude I rep you 1k
 
Ada Mustang

Ada Mustang

Remain Humble
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There is literally ZERO advantage to dating a girl below 250ibs.

Let me outline some great advantages of landwhales that this subhuman could never provide:

300full.jpg


Disgusting. 🤮


1) Hurricane Proof

Hurricane winds can reach over 150 miles per hour!

giphy.gif


If youre dating some 100ib twink, she will be blown away like a tumbleweed.

Your “fit” twink girlfriends in a hurricane ⬇
giphy.gif


On the contrary, a landwhale is strong. Her feet secure her to the ground like a sturdy fire hydrant.

fire-hydrant-2200x1466.jpg


This thing isn’t gonna fucking budge no matter what category hurricane you throw at it.

2) Make You Healthier

If you have some fitness freak girlfriend like this:

R46lbPx.gif


She's only gonna eat salad 🥗 and leave your fridge full of junk food. You will give into your cravings and gain bf %, increasing facial bloat!


A land whale girlfriend will turn your pantry from this:

uysguha.jpg


TO THIS:

Pantry-2.jpg


And she'll do it so fast, by the time you want a snack from your last grocery shop, the pantry will already be empty! This will reduce your calorie intake thus decreasing bf% and sharpen your jawline.

3) Free Mattresses For Life!

With a girlfriend like this:

0_THP_CHp_270619Slug_1431JPG.jpg


Your bed will break so fast, you'll get a free mattress replacement with your warranty deal annually! Never sleep on worn out springs again!

4) Easily Beat Your Girlfriend And Get Away With It!

If you have a skinny, small girlfriend, she can easily dodge your punches and run away. Also, your punches will do more damage to her small, frail body, thus providing better evidence for the police 😮

View attachment 137851


With a landwhale girlfriend, she is such a large target you can't miss! Also you can punch her all day and her fat will absorb your punches like a punching bag! She'll run so slow to the police and need so many water breaks, her bruises will be 100% healed by the time she arrives at the police station!

View attachment 137855


What are you waiting for? Get a landwhale gf now! Just 3 small payments of birthday cake 🍰🍰🍰 and you can have one today!

Look at this happy customer!

maxresdefault.jpg
Best threat 😆😆🤪
 

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