D
Deleted member 119043
Iron
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2025
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This is happening as I type.
My ex-girlfriend, who is schizoaffective, just started texting me in a complete state of panic. She says she's shaking under the covers. Said something was in her room. Says she can't even look at it and is too scared to move. Her dog is also freaking out and barking at the corner. She says that means it's real this time. She writes, "It's not just my brain." "It saw it too."
Now she says she just wants to cuddle. Says she wishes I was right next to her I always made her feel safe she says my heartbeat calms her and now that she's alone "it doesn't feel real."
She keeps texting. I just read one, she sends another. There's shaky breathing on the voice notes, whispering, "I'm scared," "I feel like I'm going to disappear," "Please don't ignore me."
What's the worst part?
I want to go. I want to go. I want to hold her and make her stop crying.
But I know it's nothing new. I've done it before. It always ends the same.
I shouldn't even be reading this.
But I read them anyway.
Because part of me still thinks she's mine to protect.
And that part sounds stronger than I want to admit right now.
My ex-girlfriend, who is schizoaffective, just started texting me in a complete state of panic. She says she's shaking under the covers. Said something was in her room. Says she can't even look at it and is too scared to move. Her dog is also freaking out and barking at the corner. She says that means it's real this time. She writes, "It's not just my brain." "It saw it too."
Now she says she just wants to cuddle. Says she wishes I was right next to her I always made her feel safe she says my heartbeat calms her and now that she's alone "it doesn't feel real."
She keeps texting. I just read one, she sends another. There's shaky breathing on the voice notes, whispering, "I'm scared," "I feel like I'm going to disappear," "Please don't ignore me."
What's the worst part?
I want to go. I want to go. I want to hold her and make her stop crying.
But I know it's nothing new. I've done it before. It always ends the same.
I shouldn't even be reading this.
But I read them anyway.
Because part of me still thinks she's mine to protect.
And that part sounds stronger than I want to admit right now.
