# Yo what does it mean to love yourself? And does it do anything



## lilhorizontal32 (Apr 13, 2021)

like I get people saying that you gotta like yourself, and love yourself before others can love you, otherwise youll be craving the validation of others

but then I meet so many popular people who are well liked, but have confessed to me, or friends of mine that they have really bad self esteem/self hate issues. how does this work?? or is the whole fill up your glass with love before filling other glasses' thing just another meme like "just be confident"


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## AlexAP (Apr 13, 2021)

lilhorizontal32 said:


> or is the whole fill up your glass with love before filling other glasses' thing just another meme like "just be confident"


Mostly this. Loving yourself means you like who you are. But it's not possible to like yourself if you constantly fail at achieving your goals in life. 

You could theretically become that mentally strong that you don't stress about any failure in your life, because you accept that you can't change the past etc. (like a stoic). But this mentality devaluates life itself imo, because life goals are important and be sad because you failed shows that you value life and want to have good experiences. At some point, to be happy you need to have success and not just "love yourself".

Still, many parents tell their kids to love themselves, even if they know that they never loved themselves. They do it probably because they know that they can't help their kids with their problems. It's the ultimate and final cope (except the believe in afterlife).


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 13, 2021)

You Don't Need to Love Yourself First


Another's love can help you learn to love yourself.




www.psychologytoday.com





It's cope made up by redditors.


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## Julian (Apr 13, 2021)

This






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## Deleted member 9217 (Apr 13, 2021)

reddit blue pilled garbage


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## ReignsChad (Apr 13, 2021)

Only way to love yourself is if you’re reflection in the mirror looks good


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## Deleted member 9217 (Apr 13, 2021)

ReignsChad said:


> Only way to love yourself is if you’re reflection in the mirror looks good


pretty much


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## AlexAP (Apr 13, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> You Don't Need to Love Yourself First
> 
> 
> Another's love can help you learn to love yourself.
> ...


Brutal article. You need the love of other people to be happy, at least at some point in your life. 

If you didn't have a loving family and were never successful in dating, you can't be happy with yourself.


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 13, 2021)

AlexAP said:


> Brutal article. You need the love of other people to be happy, at least at some point in your life.
> 
> If you didn't have a loving family and were never successful in dating, you can't be happy with yourself.


Loving yourself does nothing. 

External validation as narcissistic as this may sound is the only form of love and it builds self esteem. That's the only form of love

Self love is pure cope made by redditors


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## lilhorizontal32 (Apr 14, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> You Don't Need to Love Yourself First
> 
> 
> Another's love can help you learn to love yourself.
> ...


yeah I thought as much. seems external validation matters more than people let on


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 14, 2021)

lilhorizontal32 said:


> yeah I thought as much. seems external validation matters more than people let on


External validation is everything lol. It builds confidence, it builds self esteem, the more narcissitic you are the better unironically. You determine your self worth by the admiration, validation others give you. Self worth is derived from external validation.


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## lilhorizontal32 (Apr 14, 2021)

also weird thing is most people never really explain how to get "self love", but merely say "love yourself". the few that do recommend affirmations but I doubt it would work tbh


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## Deleted member 7044 (Apr 14, 2021)

means u coom to ur selfies i think


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## RoundHouse (Apr 14, 2021)

itisogre said:


> means u coom to ur selfies i think


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 14, 2021)

lilhorizontal32 said:


> also weird thing is most people never really explain how to get "self love", but merely say "love yourself". the few that do recommend affirmations but I doubt it would work tbh


no way to get it besides getting validation, attention from others. 
The final blackpill is that everything comes from how people treat you in formative years, I.E: Gandy was bullied in school for being fat and starting puberty late as well for his crooked noose, but he ascended via puberty into the best looking man ever in his prime. But he ended up having a lot of aspie tendencies, he struggles with eye contact, he calls himself shy and unconfident.

Your personality, your confidence, your self esteem, your self worth all come from external validation in those years that make you (the person) think that everyone likes you and that the world is good to you. Opposite to the ones that have been bullied and rejected all their life socially, if no one likes you, you won't love yourself as humans are social creatures. Similar philosophy applies to virginity, you ask yourself: How can I be so disgusting and unlovable that I can't even have sex/intimacy with another human? Everything derives from validation.


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## lilhorizontal32 (Apr 14, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> External validation is everything lol. It builds confidence, it builds self esteem, the more narcissitic you are the better unironically. You determine your self worth by the admiration, validation others give you. Self worth is derived from external validation.


yeah the people who seem to have the most "self-love" (confidence + low inhib) also seem to be the best looking ones who most likely got lots of external validation growing up


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## lilhorizontal32 (Apr 14, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> no way to get it besides getting validation, attention from others.
> The final blackpill is that everything comes from how people treat you in formative years, I.E: Gandy was bullied in school for being fat and starting puberty late as well for his crooked noose, but he ascended via puberty into the best looking man ever in his prime. But he ended up having a lot of aspie tendencies, he struggles with eye contact, he calls himself shy and unconfident.
> 
> Your personality, your confidence, your self esteem, your self worth all come from external validation in those years that make you (the person) think that everyone likes you and that the world is good to you. Opposite to the ones that have been bullied and rejected all their life socially, if no one likes you, you won't love yourself as humans are social creatures. Similar philosophy applies to virginity, you ask yourself: How can I be so disgusting and unlovable that I can't even have sex/intimacy with another human? Everything derives from validation.


true. but I have also read stories of people ascending and then receiving heaps of positive external validation, causing them to lose their shyness/social anxiety and become quite confident people

it works out for some I think


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 14, 2021)

lilhorizontal32 said:


> true. but I have also read stories of people ascending and then receiving heaps of positive external validation, causing them to lose their shyness/social anxiety and become quite confident people
> 
> it works out for some I think


It really depends, but teen years are the most crucial for development you are aware of social hierarchies, if you are shunned and rejected it will take a toll on you. And you'll think you are doing something wrong when in reality most of the times you do nothing wrong ur just ugly.


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## lilhorizontal32 (Apr 14, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> And you'll think you are doing something wrong when in reality most of the times you do nothing wrong ur just ugly.


real shit man haha. wouldve preferred someone tell me its cos of my face then I wouldnt have spent an insane amount of time trying to figure out what I was doing wrong and wouldve just made peace with it


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 14, 2021)

lilhorizontal32 said:


> real shit man haha. wouldve preferred someone tell me its cos of my face then I wouldnt have spent an insane amount of time trying to figure out what I was doing wrong and wouldve just made peace with it


It's the gas lighting that makes it fucked. You just are in a dead end of searching how to improve your personality when in reality it's looks. You could spend ur life trying to improve it when ur just an undesirable unlovable ugly man because ugly women can still get into ltrs. 

It's rarely ever personality the struggle for men it's looks.


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## Deleted member 3270 (Apr 14, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> It's the gas lighting that makes it fucked. You just are in a dead end of searching how to improve your personality when in reality it's looks. You could spend ur life trying to improve it when ur just an undesirable unlovable ugly man because ugly women can still get into ltrs.
> 
> It's rarely ever personality the struggle for men it's looks.


There are many subhumans that get treated normal in hs, fucking jbs because they like the status from their rich parents. hope this isn't all a troll


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 14, 2021)

🧐🧐🧐🧐 said:


> There are mny subhumans that get treated normal in hs, hope this isn't all a troll


Cope then they aren't subhumans they are normie. Subhumans get treated horribly lol giga cope I've seen it in my own school.


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## Deleted member 3270 (Apr 14, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> Cope then they aren't subhumans they are normie. Subhumans get treated horribly lol giga cope I've seen it in my own school.


Nah unless they are giga short or very very deformed. if they wear normie streetwear and earrings they get treated normal. Not thinking brand and clothes matter is oldfag coping bullshit. This generation is about social media clout shit. Its always about looking rich not being rich. PSL helps but you need both to actually get normal sex. You're probably not even Gen Z


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## CursedOne (Apr 14, 2021)

Loving yourself is just a normie cope. Dont believe in this shit


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## Deleted member 3270 (Apr 14, 2021)

CursedOne said:


> Loving yourself is just a normie cope. Dont believe in this shit


Don't, shit is a lie to keep inferior people from wanting to change themselves. People say "be yourself" yet all these women have BBLs and lip procedures on social media. Mad bullshit


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## pizza (Apr 14, 2021)

🧐🧐🧐🧐 said:


> Don't, shit is a lie to keep inferior people from wanting to change themselves. People say "be yourself" yet all these women have BBLs and lip procedures on social media. Mad bullshit


foid narcissism is different from man narcissism,they need other people to reaffirm that she is incredible,needs a giga ego,narcy man dont have ego and don't give a damn about anyone's opinion


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## Entschuldigung (Apr 14, 2021)

Self love doesn't exist
Your interpretation of yourself is what people say about you because you can't have an unbiased opinion about yourself.


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## Entschuldigung (Apr 14, 2021)

itisogre said:


> means u coom to ur selfies i think


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## lilhorizontal32 (Apr 14, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> It's the gas lighting that makes it fucked. You just are in a dead end of searching how to improve your personality when in reality it's looks. You could spend ur life trying to improve it when ur just an undesirable unlovable ugly man because ugly women can still get into ltrs.
> 
> It's rarely ever personality the struggle for men it's looks.


Exactly. Although in my case I am still a bit shy and could be more NT but I was less likely to be given the benefit of the doubt growing up for some of my quirks.

Some of my gl friends however were and would be invited out even despite having the same flaws (or worse) and I’m seeing how they’re slowly becoming more NT and confident than me over time.


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## Deleted member 5185 (Apr 14, 2021)

Who knows wtf it means.

But since loving yourself is a result either from

a) Being a self obsessed narcissist (dark triad max)
or
b) Actually being successful (good physique, attractive, hella money, status) 

I think one should strive to love yourself. I'm pretty sure there is a correlation between being highly successful with women and loving one self. The more you hate yourself and your existence, the larger are the chances you are an incel.


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## zeke714 (Apr 14, 2021)

ReignsChad said:


> Only way to love yourself is if you’re reflection in the mirror looks good


Based


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## Deleted member 6380 (Apr 14, 2021)

U want the best for yourself


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## Deleted member 430 (Apr 14, 2021)

Loving yourself despite never having been loved is common blue pilled fallacy.

Its just like when your whole life has been shit, filled with mistakes and failures and they just tell you to be confident.

Its just mindless dissmissive positivty to make you go away when they dont have anything better to tell you.

''I am child trafficking victim, sold by my Ugandan parents, selling sexual services for bread and water.'' 
''Just be confident bro''


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## pizza (Apr 14, 2021)

MaherGOAT said:


> Being a self obsessed narcissist (dark triad max)


this


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## lilhorizontal32 (Apr 15, 2021)

MaherGOAT said:


> I think one should strive to love yourself


yeah bro I second this - just unsure if one can actually take steps to love themselves more (aside from doing affirmations which I'm not sure work) and get external validation, which is obviously out of ones control



MaherGOAT said:


> I'm pretty sure there is a correlation between being highly successful with women and loving one self. The more you hate yourself and your existence, the larger are the chances you are an incel.


I'm sure there is a correlation but 2 thoughts on this:

1. how strong is that correlation, cos I'm thinking its pretty moderate at best

and

2. does one first develop self-love and then succeed in their lives, or is loving oneself a natural consequence from succeeding in life. bit of a chicken and egg scenario


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 15, 2021)

MaherGOAT said:


> Who knows wtf it means.
> 
> But since loving yourself is a result either from
> 
> ...


Being a narcissist is the final pill, it's the utmost confidence once you finish looksmaxxing.


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 15, 2021)

lilhorizontal32 said:


> I'm sure there is a correlation but 2 thoughts on this:
> 
> 1. how strong is that correlation, cos I'm thinking its pretty moderate at best
> 
> ...


the latter loving oneself is a natural consequence of succeeding in life socially and with women.


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## pizza (Apr 15, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> the latter loving oneself is a natural consequence of succeeding in life socially and with women.


not for narcy dark triad guys


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 15, 2021)

pizza said:


> not for narcy dark triad guys


the funny thing about narcy dark triad guys is that's why they succeed with women, their confidence + decent looks is what attracts women. Being narcisistic is confidence to women from what I've observed.


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## pizza (Apr 15, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> the funny thing about narcy dark triad guys is that's why they succeed with women, their confidence + decent looks is what attracts women. Being narcisistic is confidence to women from what I've observed.


narcy chad:''he just confident''
ugly narcy:arrogant guy
just be chad strikes again


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## lilhorizontal32 (Apr 15, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> Being a narcissist is the final pill, it's the utmost confidence once you finish looksmaxxing.


Yeah being narcy helps. But I’m pretty sure it’s genetic right?


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 15, 2021)

lilhorizontal32 said:


> Yeah being narcy helps. But I’m pretty sure it’s genetic right?


Narcy doesn't seem genetic just something you get when you get too much validation IRL from looks and how you act. I bet most male models are very narcy


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## Mongrelcel (Apr 15, 2021)

ReignsChad said:


> Only way to love yourself is if you’re reflection in the mirror looks good


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## Mongrelcel (Apr 15, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> Narcy doesn't seem genetic just something you get when you get too much validation IRL from looks and how you act. I bet most male models are very narcy


im a narcy and I've never gotten any validation ever, I'm not even good looking jfl


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 15, 2021)

Mongrelcel said:


> im a narcy and I've never gotten any validation ever, I'm not even good looking jfl


can't be actually narcy without getting validation IRL tbh. A true narcy is good looking and he knows it, he has extreme confidence because of it, most chads probably fall into this. You can be a "narcy" without looking good


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## Mongrelcel (Apr 15, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> can't be actually narcy without getting validation IRL tbh. A true narcy is good looking and he knows it, he has extreme confidence because of it, most chads probably fall into this. You can be a "narcy" without looking good


you definitely can

plenty of people on this site are subhuman, yet narcy as fuck

jfl "being good looking and confident" are not symptoms or causes of nacrissism.


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## volcelfatcel (Apr 15, 2021)

Mongrelcel said:


> you definitely can
> 
> plenty of people on this site are subhuman, yet narcy as fuck
> 
> jfl "being good looking and confident" are not symptoms or causes of nacrissism.


Narcy in forums and privately inside ur house is different. Being narcy in public and admitting it is chad only.

Being publically narcy is a whole different game, and that's when it comes. Being narcy in a forum and inside ur bathroom when u look at yourself in the mirror is retarded but publically it's chad only


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## Deleted member 7901 (Apr 15, 2021)

Mongrelcel said:


> you definitely can
> 
> plenty of people on this site are subhuman, yet narcy as fuck
> 
> jfl "being good looking and confident" are not symptoms or causes of nacrissism.


Narcy love is not the same self love which comes from external forces,
its extremely unstable and can broken within a second


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## Mongrelcel (Apr 15, 2021)

volcelfatcel said:


> Narcy in forums and privately inside ur house is different. Being narcy in public and admitting it is chad only.
> 
> Being publically narcy is a whole different game, and that's when it comes. Being narcy in a forum and inside ur bathroom when u look at yourself in the mirror is retarded but publically it's chad only


almost noone is "publically narcy" but many many people have nacry traits. I'd say that majority of gen Z have narcy traits to some extent


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## Deleted member 7076 (Apr 15, 2021)

to be 100% secure with the person you are in the present moment. u don't feel any urge to change, you are happy with who you are. the sad thing about this website is that it sparks the most meaningless insecurities about our looks

@ArvidGustavsson literally checks his hair in the mirror as he's fucking his girl to make sure his forehead isnt exposed


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## Deleted member 7901 (Apr 15, 2021)

16tyo said:


> to be 100% secure with the person you are in the present moment. u don't feel any urge to change, you are happy with who you are. the sad thing about this website is that it sparks the most meaningless insecurities about our looks
> 
> @ArvidGustavsson literally checks his hair in the mirror as he's fucking his girl to make sure his forehead isnt exposed


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## Deleted member 5185 (Apr 15, 2021)

lilhorizontal32 said:


> yeah bro I second this - just unsure if one can actually take steps to love themselves more (aside from doing affirmations which I'm not sure work) and get external validation, which is obviously out of ones control
> 
> 
> I'm sure there is a correlation but 2 thoughts on this:
> ...


I think the correlation is strong. The problem is of course that it isn't loving yourself or not that defines whether you are successful/happy or not, but the other way around. I.e., if you live a miserable life, attempting to love yourself won't fix the issues behind living a miserable life.


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