# I can't sexualize a date



## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 24, 2021)

Each time I go to a Tinder date that doesn't take place at my flat or at my date's I can't sexualize the interaction.
Last night had a date, went to a bar good vibes we talked and drank a lot.
By the end of the date she was like I had a great time let's do that again sometime.
But I'm to aspi to engage in physical contact (it's especially hard to do when you are seating face to face around a table imo) and I didn't have the guts to kiss her at the end
I mean when I'm drunk in a club I don't have any problems with being physical but when having a drink with a total stranger I become autist.
I know she likes me, I just wanna bang her, not looking for a gf atm.

How do you sexualize your convo and engage physical contact in these kind of more "intimate" setup ?
I live with family rn so can't take her to my flat


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 24, 2021)

AlexBrown84 said:


> Just be on caffeine bro, speaking of caffeine I’m bout pop a 200🤣


Being on caffeine is gonna make me more nervous tbh I already have above average heartbeat most of the time


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 24, 2021)

AlexBrown84 said:


> Yeah same I took 400mg yesterday and had BP of 136/82 at 19yo


Why do you take it ? Pre workout ?


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 24, 2021)

AlexBrown84 said:


> I’m doing 7 day fast and traveling a lot so need to suppress my appetite


jfl you really shouldn't take caffein on empty stomach. Btw 7 days fast is going to deplete your from a shit tones of nutrients and all your organs especially your skin will suffer from it. You should stick to intermittent fasting


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## eduardkoopman (Dec 24, 2021)

terminus said:


> (it's especially hard to do when you are seating face to face around a table imo)


that's a shit setup always.


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## .👽. (Dec 24, 2021)

idk bro im not good with the redpill but the redpill is what you need. i also have this problem i try to get some "random" touches and kiss her when it feels right, not just at the end like a romance movie. better users to ask


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## Deleted member 11388 (Dec 24, 2021)

terminus said:


> Each time I go to a Tinder date that doesn't take place at my flat or at my date's I can't sexualize the interaction.
> Last night had a date, went to a bar good vibes we talked and drank a lot.
> By the end of the date she was like I had a great time let's do that again sometime.
> But I'm to aspi to engage in physical contact (it's especially hard to do when you are seating face to face around a table imo) and I didn't have the guts to kiss her at the end
> ...


dunno brah, i dont sexualize on the date, i have a short friendly chat for 1 and half hour in a bar then invite a girl for tea at my place and escalate. worked pretty good for me for now.
I am chill, gl and have a ton of experience from dates so im very relaxed and dont give a shit and joke witj girls and make them feel comfortable, if she on thr datr with you she is attracted obviously, so now just make her comfortable and dont be a complete fucking beta cuck and you will smash at your place ez


sometumes i just have a short date and try to make her come.over in the 2nd if she seems more conservative so its not "first date sex" in her mind.

But id say for me being playerish looking/,acting i shiuld push first date anyway


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 24, 2021)

Yolosweg said:


> dunno brah, i dont sexualize on the date, i have a short friendly chat for 1 and half hour in a bar then invite a girl for tea at my place and escalate. worked pretty good for me for now.
> I am chill, gl and have a ton of experience from dates so im very relaxed and dont give a shit and joke witj girls and make them feel comfortable, if she on thr datr with you she is attracted obviously, so now just make her comfortable and dont be a complete fucking beta cuck and you will smash at your place ez
> 
> 
> ...


Yeah the thing is I don't have my own place rn which sucks. It's hard to make the girl invite you over


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## Kylo (Dec 24, 2021)

Seduce her with your eyes. Give her a certain look


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 24, 2021)

Kylo said:


> Seduce her with your eyes. Give her a certain look


Maybe if I look at her breast non stop


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## Chad1212 (Dec 24, 2021)

Chad problems
I can only daydream about slaying Beckyes and in realitty I can at most kiss maybe a ubber manlet recessed girl/landwhale/ 2.5psl if I give 110% of myself and she will eventually fuck me up


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## Kylo (Dec 24, 2021)

terminus said:


> Maybe if I look at her breast non stop


Yeah goodluck w that sure way to kill all vibes you never want to be so blatant with your intentions with women esp when you’re not chad. I meant sexual eye contact.


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 24, 2021)

Kylo said:


> Yeah goodluck w that sure way to kill all vibes you never want to be so blatant with your intentions with women esp when you’re not chad. I meant sexual eye contact.


Yeah I was joking bro, I get what you meant. Tbh I tried looking at her in a sexy manner but it didn't do the trick, maybe I did it wrong idk. I think the most important part is adding way more kino to my interactions. I might try to date some ugly girls I really don't care about to get more confident in this kind of setup. But tbh having to pay for extra date and loose time talking to a girl I don't wanna bang is too much for me


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## Kylo (Dec 24, 2021)

terminus said:


> Yeah I was joking bro, I get what you meant. Tbh I tried looking at her in a sexy manner but it didn't do the trick, maybe I did it wrong idk. I think the most important part is adding way more kino to my interactions. I might try to date some ugly girls I really don't care about to get more confident in this kind of setup. But tbh having to pay for extra date and loose time talking to a girl I don't wanna bang is too much for me


Yeah try adding it more into your interactions.. or it could be you gave em boyfriend vibes and they tweak behavior accordingly. You can get sex... later on down on the line. Or they just thought it would make them feel slutty. No WOMAN wants to be seen a slut bring me the slutiest of sluts it applies to them too. Or they weren’t really attracted to you.


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## TranceMaxx (Dec 24, 2021)

start touching. You touching her, her touching u. It just escalates. Not saying youre gonna shag in the bar, but it shows intention


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## randomuser2407 (Dec 24, 2021)

It's because you need a higher sex drive. You can achieve that by abstaining from porn and masturbation a few days before the date, by making sure to sleep at least 8-9 hours per night, by eating enough and by making sure that you don't have vitamin/mineral deficiencies.

Ever since I started taking prescribed vitamin d supplements, my sex drive is way higher.


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## intovoid (Dec 24, 2021)

terminus said:


> Maybe if I look at her breast non stop


my first date ever I was clammed up and the chick I was seeing that day had to tell me to touch her tits cause I didn’t even know if it was ok to get physical without getting metoo’d


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## Deleted member 14528 (Dec 24, 2021)

All i think about is rawdogging the girl during a date and then blocking her never been a problem to be fair


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## Bvnny. (Dec 24, 2021)

Yeah, I have the same problem as OP, need to consume some redpill content


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## ChristianChad (Dec 24, 2021)

Zerox said:


> All i think about is rawdogging the girl during a date and then blocking her never been a problem to be fair






is this you? then its no wonder bro. you look like a model!


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 24, 2021)

Kylo said:


> Yeah try adding it more into your interactions.. or it could be you gave em boyfriend vibes and they tweak behavior accordingly. You can get sex... later on down on the line. Or they just thought it would make them feel slutty. No WOMAN wants to be seen a slut bring me the slutiest of sluts it applies to them too. Or they weren’t really attracted to you.


Yeah my problem is I give BIG boyfriend vibes and I really want to get away from that, at least for now.


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 24, 2021)

copingvolcel said:


> It's because you need a higher sex drive. You can achieve that by abstaining from porn and masturbation a few days before the date, by making sure to sleep at least 8-9 hours per night, by eating enough and by making sure that you don't have vitamin/mineral deficiencies.
> 
> Ever since I started taking prescribed vitamin d supplements, my sex drive is way higher.


Maybe that's one thing. Tbh I didn't watch porn in years, I use UVB lamp regularly for vit d, and sleep like 10h a night. The only supplement that seem to increase my sex drive is Zinc and maybe arginine that gives me more random boners


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## grimy (Dec 24, 2021)

Bruh you have to gradually get physical throughout the night or else going for that kiss is awkward as shit. Always smile and just do little shit like touch her hands during convo.


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## Deleted member 11388 (Dec 25, 2021)

terminus said:


> Yeah the thing is I don't have my own place rn which sucks. It's hard to make the girl invite you over


then you have bigger problems that you have to fix and shouldn't worry about gettin laid


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## Lihito (Dec 25, 2021)

terminus said:


> Each time I go to a Tinder date that doesn't take place at my flat or at my date's I can't sexualize the interaction.
> Last night had a date, went to a bar good vibes we talked and drank a lot.
> By the end of the date she was like I had a great time let's do that again sometime.
> But I'm to aspi to engage in physical contact (it's especially hard to do when you are seating face to face around a table imo) and I didn't have the guts to kiss her at the end
> ...


-man
-cant sexualize

Its your looks bro


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 25, 2021)

grimy said:


> Bruh you have to gradually get physical throughout the night or else going for that kiss is awkward as shit. Always smile and just do little shit like touch her hands during convo.


Yeah but 1v1 sitting across a table is hard to make gradual moves. Next time I'll try to sit closer to her, maybe across in the beginning then during the date switch and sit next to her


Yolosweg said:


> then you have bigger problems that you have to fix and shouldn't worry about gettin laid


True, it's eating me alive tbh I feel like a looser for not having my own place, but my city is expensive af.


Lihito said:


> -man
> -cant sexualize
> 
> Its your looks bro


You obviously didn't read the post. It's not that I don't want to bang her, I'm just too high inhib in this setup.
Most of the time I pickup when I'm drunk in a club or a bar, not a tinder that, it seems too artificial to me


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## noodlelover (Dec 25, 2021)

I use to be like you, but once you've learned how to tell when a girl wants to be kissed it becomes natural and you never forget. 

To get over this, I suggest you get laid a good amount. Just put on your tinder that you're a virgin, and lower your standards really far. As low as possible, it's only temporary. Some girls will be cool, and help you out, that's basically how I lost my virginity. I told my date I was a virgin and she was like, I'm gonna help you out with that lets go to your place. After you've hooked up with some girls a decent amount of times you'll automatically know when they want to be kissed, and they will also sense that you're a guy who would know and it will be easy. Like now, I've kissed girls within sixty seconds of meeting them and they start making out with me if I sense they need that from me.

I'm not chad btw, I'm a normie in looks, with nothing going for me in life.


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## ifyouwannabemylover (Dec 25, 2021)

you're not holding frame


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 25, 2021)

noodlelover said:


> I use to be like you, but once you've learned how to tell when a girl wants to be kissed it becomes natural and you never forget.
> 
> To get over this, I suggest you get laid a good amount. Just put on your tinder that you're a virgin, and lower your standards really far. As low as possible, it's only temporary. Some girls will be cool, and help you out, that's basically how I lost my virginity. I told my date I was a virgin and she was like, I'm gonna help you out with that lets go to your place. After you've hooked up with some girls a decent amount of times you'll automatically know when they want to be kissed, and they will also sense that you're a guy who would know and it will be easy. Like now, I've kissed girls within sixty seconds of meeting them and they start making out with me if I sense they need that from me.
> 
> I'm not chad btw, I'm a normie in looks, with nothing going for me in life.


Yeah, tbh I'm having a hard time picturing myself fucking a girl i'm not attracted to. It disgust me, I'll be more bold on my second date and try to fuck her even if I don't find her that attractive 


ifyouwannabemylover said:


> you're not holding frame


Probably true, don't know if I can learn to do so


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## Zenturio (Dec 25, 2021)

Maybe try rape


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 25, 2021)

Zenturio said:


> Maybe try rape


It might be the most direct way of sexualizing any interaction. Thank you my good sir


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## noodlelover (Dec 25, 2021)

terminus said:


> Probably true, don't know if I can learn to do so


Holding frame is easy. Talk slow, don't say much, and feel you are better looking than her and she's lucky to even be talking to you. You don't have to believe it. It doesn't have to be true, you just have to feel it. Also don't say it, be nice to her, just feel it.

If you feel the opposite then you pretty much fucked yourself, because she will catch the feeling you feel and then think why is she wasting time with you.

Meditation can help, meditating to practice a chill confident vibe.


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## NotoriousLoser (Dec 28, 2021)

ra*e her or ro*e yourself, these are your 2 options


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## Saranghae (Dec 28, 2021)

Just make good conversation and ask for a consensual kiss after the 5th date


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 28, 2021)

Saranghae said:


> Just make good conversation and ask for a consensual kiss after the 5th date


Ask for a kiss wtf? And I'm not waiting 5 dates to smash. Not looking for a gf here. So you ask girls if you can kiss them?


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## Saranghae (Dec 28, 2021)

terminus said:


> Ask for a kiss wtf? And I'm not waiting 5 dates to smash. Not looking for a gf here. So you ask girls if you can kiss them?



yes bro, every single time. You don’t?


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## Deleted member 5786 (Dec 28, 2021)

Chad1212 said:


> Chad problems
> I can only daydream about slaying Beckyes and in realitty I can at most kiss maybe a ubber manlet recessed girl/landwhale/ 2.5psl if I give 110% of myself and she will eventually fuck me up


you utter incel


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## Nameless_Sunflower (Dec 28, 2021)

OldVirgin said:


> you utter incel


how are you bro?


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## Bitchwhipper2 (Dec 28, 2021)

terminus said:


> Each time I go to a Tinder date that doesn't take place at my flat or at my date's I can't sexualize the interaction.
> Last night had a date, went to a bar good vibes we talked and drank a lot.
> By the end of the date she was like I had a great time let's do that again sometime.
> But I'm to aspi to engage in physical contact (it's especially hard to do when you are seating face to face around a table imo) and I didn't have the guts to kiss her at the end
> ...


I cant get a date


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## bwrauycnee (Dec 28, 2021)

Go to the beach. Use sunblock application as an excuse to break the touch barrier. The. Take it from there if the vibe is right.


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## Jamesothy (Dec 28, 2021)

terminus said:


> Each time I go to a Tinder date that doesn't take place at my flat or at my date's I can't sexualize the interaction.
> Last night had a date, went to a bar good vibes we talked and drank a lot.
> By the end of the date she was like I had a great time let's do that again sometime.
> But I'm to aspi to engage in physical contact (it's especially hard to do when you are seating face to face around a table imo) and I didn't have the guts to kiss her at the end
> ...


Pay attention to her eyes. Don't sexualize the conversation. Just talk about other things and close the distance between you and her. Girls, for the most part, won't initiate kissing. Her eyes will let you know she wants to be kissed though. If she rapidly shifts looking from one of your eyes to the other, back and forth, she wants to be kissed. If she looks at your mouth she wants to be kissed.


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 28, 2021)

Saranghae said:


> yes bro, every single time. You don’t?


No seems weird to me, I just go for the kiss if I feel like it.
But I guess your way must work too.



bwrauycnee said:


> Go to the beach. Use sunblock application as an excuse to break the touch barrier. The. Take it from there if the vibe is right.


Nearest beach is 2h in car and cold af. But yeah I've used this technique during summer



Jamesothy said:


> Pay attention to her eyes. Don't sexualize the conversation. Just talk about other things and close the distance between you and her. Girls, for the most part, won't initiate kissing. Her eyes will let you know she wants to be kissed though. If she rapidly shifts looking from one of your eyes to the other, back and forth, she wants to be kissed. If she looks at your mouth she wants to be kissed.


Yeah I see what kind of look you are talking about. I just lack kino during the date.


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## Saranghae (Dec 28, 2021)

I was joking


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 28, 2021)

Saranghae said:


> I was joking


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## disillusioned (Dec 28, 2021)

OP is a coper and so is everyone else talking about the need to 'escalate' things. Fact is if she wanted it she would make it clear. And trying to signal interest by 'getting physical' sounds like a great way to get sued in 2022.


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## Deleted member 2214 (Dec 28, 2021)

disillusioned said:


> OP is a coper and so is everyone else talking about the need to 'escalate' things. Fact is if she wanted it she would make it clear. And trying to signal interest by 'getting physical' sounds like a great way to get sued in 2022.


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## 0kami123 (Dec 28, 2021)

Literally smoke a joint or drink before you go.


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## kramer (Dec 28, 2021)

noodlelover said:


> I use to be like you, but once you've learned how to tell when a girl wants to be kissed it becomes natural and you never forget.
> 
> To get over this, I suggest you get laid a good amount. Just put on your tinder that you're a virgin, and lower your standards really far. As low as possible, it's only temporary. Some girls will be cool, and help you out, that's basically how I lost my virginity. I told my date I was a virgin and she was like, I'm gonna help you out with that lets go to your place. After you've hooked up with some girls a decent amount of times you'll automatically know when they want to be kissed, and they will also sense that you're a guy who would know and it will be easy. Like now, I've kissed girls within sixty seconds of meeting them and they start making out with me if I sense they need that from me.
> 
> I'm not chad btw, I'm a normie in looks, with nothing going for me in life.


This 100%, 

I had a hot as fuck gf someone years back, I was super awkward and she had to initiate it , and I didn’t know how to fuck her right(she was a huge freak ) so she left

I then had to learn to not be awkward by forcing myself to socialize , getting restaurant jobs and putting myself in awkward positions, and also going on tinder dates fucking any ogre with a pussy( just get super fucking horny and don’t fap and you will fuck anything ) 
Going on the dates helped me learn how to fuck and how to get fucked

Now going on dates, through high inhib and touchy and shit, I can either make the girl go in for the kiss cause she’s so turned on, or I do it if she’s too awkward(some whales are cause they never been with a man) 

I had two girls from tinder(ogre) , 1 from irl(friends wife actually hot lmao) that I literally just used as a cum dispenser as in I would hit them up just for blowjobs and leave 

and mind you I’m doing all of this as a normie/border line low tier

Inhib and manipulation is huge , and the only way to learn it is through a lot of experience, im 25 and been doing it since about 19 , it’s not something you just randomly start doing unless your galaxy brain and know the perfect response to every situation (impossible )


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 29, 2021)

disillusioned said:


> OP is a coper and so is everyone else talking about the need to 'escalate' things. Fact is if she wanted it she would make it clear. And trying to signal interest by 'getting physical' sounds like a great way to get sued in 2022.


She's the one sending messages so we see each other again.
Even if the girl signals you she's interested you can still be high inhib enough not to make a move


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## Deleted member 8016 (Dec 29, 2021)

kramer said:


> This 100%,
> 
> I had a hot as fuck gf someone years back, I was super awkward and she had to initiate it , and I didn’t know how to fuck her right(she was a huge freak ) so she left
> 
> ...


Yeah I guess I should date some low psl bitches but tbh they repulse me so hard.
I'll work at a bar soon so I guess I'll practice flirting on the clients


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## kramer (Dec 30, 2021)

unless you are giga chad, anything other than that is normie and based on inhib if you wanna fuck, inhib is everything


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## NumbThePain (Dec 30, 2021)

I'm becoming autistic too on first dates with a girls I barely know. Normally I'm pretty good socializing with most people. It happens because u too scared to fail. Trying to impress her, talk alot, thinking alot and hoping she likes u and get a second date. And if u gonna get dumped after the first date, then yes u gonna be lonely again. She will forget you and move on

Also, failed many times to kiss on first date because I was too scared to ask in the end. It was so awkward


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## Deleted member 16552 (Jan 5, 2022)

If there's actually a vibe then when you're in conversation just touch her hands , like during a joke. Or if you're side by side just touch her knee for just a quick second when you're telling a story like "and then would you believe, the guy smacked into a guardrail crazy right haha" and just touch her hand. 

If a girl is touching my arms, hands or leg it's the universal signal that they're kinda into you and are attracted to you. 

I'm not saying to overdo it or be a gropy creep. Just a few touches. If a girl is into you she'll find a reason to touch you, and vice versa. If she doesn't seem into the light , periodic touching you're either doing it too much or she's not into you. 

If I'm attracted to a woman , that I kinda know, or on a date, I'm definitely going to touch the back of her hands at least once or give her arm a light brush. During a convo or when greeting her. People who like each other want to touch each other. 

If you're sitting there like a knob and aren't animated or you're not showing any affection it looks like you aren't physically into her. I'll even see a female friend I think is cute and pull lint off her sleeve. Even if theres no lint. It's obvious what I'm doing but they think its cute. 

If they don't want you touching them you will already hopefully read the vibe.


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## Deleted member 8016 (Jan 5, 2022)

VanillaFaceFuckBoi said:


> If there's actually a vibe then when you're in conversation just touch her hands , like during a joke. Or if you're side by side just touch her knee for just a quick second when you're telling a story like "and then would you believe, the guy smacked into a guardrail crazy right haha" and just touch her hand.
> 
> If a girl is touching my arms, hands or leg it's the universal signal that they're kinda into you and are attracted to you.
> 
> ...


Yeah tbh I was out last night with two friends that are hot af but that I can't bang cuz they're best friends with one of my exes.
I spent all night touching them, I guess it depends on how hot the girl is and how confident you feel around them.


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## Deleted member 16552 (Jan 6, 2022)

terminus said:


> Yeah tbh I was out last night with two friends that are hot af but that I can't bang cuz they're best friends with one of my exes.
> I spent all night touching them, I guess it depends on how hot the girl is and how confident you feel around them.


If they have already decided they're not going to bang you then it probably won't work .

I found that usually in the "getting to know you " phase you have to let them know you're into them, or even a hookup date. If there's no flirt the chick ain't gonna fuck with you.


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## Deleted member 8016 (Jan 6, 2022)

VanillaFaceFuckBoi said:


> If they have already decided they're not going to bang you then it probably won't work .
> 
> I found that usually in the "getting to know you " phase you have to let them know you're into them, or even a hookup date. If there's no flirt the chick ain't gonna fuck with you.


Girl from tinder asked me to see me again two days again. We've set a date for this weekend, I'll practice on her even if she's not really my type


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## Deleted member 16552 (Jan 6, 2022)

terminus said:


> Girl from tinder asked me to see me again two days again. We've set a date for this weekend, I'll practice on her even if she's not really my type


100%, it's about experience. It's a numbers game. The more you date, the more comfortable you'll be


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## MostGLSlayer (Jan 9, 2022)

Your convos are too filtered, lead her to a private setting, talk normally, watch tv and chill and steadily escalate by dirty talking and teasing a lil and if she reacts positively and even flirt back, then you go in with kino and get sexual from there.


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