# Red pill advice: be calm.



## Wallenberg (Mar 4, 2021)

I don't remember if I have already said this, but here it goes.

Many men, especially southern Europeans, and some others tend to fidget with their hands a lot. But not only them, many men from other places also do that too. 

Don't talk all the time. Don't fidget with your hands. When you look at her, don't do anything else. Keep your hands in their place, don't move them. Don't move your head. Stay in your place. Slow down if you aren't in a hurry.

You might wonder what this is all about - just be calm? I'm already calm? Maybe not. Look at how most guys behave and you will notice that a lot of guys don't have very calm body language. They are in constant motion all the time. Having truly calm body language separates you from those guys.

This is also a bit personality thing, but you might want to try it. If you have an energetic personality and being in constant motion doesn't hurt you, that's good. However, I believe many guys would benefit if they slowed down their pace a bit.

Last year I went on a tinder date with a girl. I was a bit chubby. Not bariatric surgery tier fat, but I had gained a bit of weight. The girl noticed it: when we met she said I look overweight compared to my pictures. Yep, she was right. Not the best start for a date. However, 2 hours later she praised how I'm so calm and how she hates when some guys talk all the time. We ended up dating for months (and the reason why we don't anymore is that now she lives in another country).

That's not the only experience of how being calm help. I have noticed that after calm, focused eye contact some girls really get attracted.

Of course, all of this requires that you don't look like a subhuman (unless the girl is subhuman), but that is true with all advice.

I guess being calm signals that you don't have anything to worry about, which is sexy.

It might be possible that keeping your hands on your side and just keeping eye contact with a girl while doing nothing else is hard at the beginning, but it's worth it. You get used to it.

@eduardkoopman @MakinItHappen @Hozay @Ocelot


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## Deleted member 10602 (Mar 4, 2021)

Good advice


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## everythingisacope (Mar 4, 2021)

Wallenberg said:


> I don't remember if I have already said this, but here it goes.
> 
> Many men, especially southern Europeans, and some others tend to fidget with their hands a lot. But not only them, many men from other places too that too.
> 
> ...


being calm signals confidence
also good thread, kind of water but the redpill is real past a looksthreshold


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## Wallenberg (Mar 4, 2021)

everythingisacope said:


> being calm signals confidence
> also good thread, kind of water but the redpill is real past a looksthreshold


It is kinda water, but many men don't have calm body language.


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## everythingisacope (Mar 4, 2021)

Wallenberg said:


> It is kinda water, but many men don't have calm body language.


I know I have experienced it 1st hand w a girl I was a starved dog and went on a date all jittery cause of the cold and she was like wtf


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## lutte (Mar 4, 2021)

Low cortisol is what you mean

So the key is abusing opioids


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## Ocelot (Mar 4, 2021)

Yeah personality does matter in the sense that you cannot appear insecure or signal anything that might hint at you having a bad past.
Acting like you know deep down you're better than others; not overly egotistical but you get what I mean.

I don't think it's possible to fake that well, that's why having a healthy and sociable upbringing is so important.


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## eduardkoopman (Mar 4, 2021)

being figgety. IS due to stress. and it helps release stress.
I have no idea, for someone on how to not be stressed


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## pizza (Mar 4, 2021)

lutte said:


> Low cortisol is what you mean
> 
> So the key is abusing opioids


just have low cortisol naturally


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## Jamesothy (Mar 4, 2021)

Slowing things down is also a very good excercise. Not only your speaking, but your movements as well. It's good to really push yourself and even take this to the extreme in the beginning. Take it way past your comfort zone. Most people would be very surprised at just how slow you can take things without looking strange. Yeah, you'll get used to it.

With speach, somebody who talks fast all the time can give the impression that they're used to/afraid of being interrupted. It's like they want to hurry up and get everything out before someone inevitably cuts them off. It's not attractive at all.


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## PYT (Mar 4, 2021)

I'll try it out


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## R@m@ (Mar 7, 2021)

Being calm is legit, sometimes people will try to get you nervous or irritated, but you just stand there like nothing is happening.


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## Deleted member 795 (Mar 7, 2021)

> she hates when some guys talk all the time.



Last date i went i had to talk much because she wasn't . I tried to let her talk of herself with doing many wuestion but still..

It wasnt bad, but clearly She wasn't interested. I did a thread about this.

What i wanna say is yeah be calm and make the date about her talking of herself


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## Wallenberg (Mar 7, 2021)

eduardkoopman said:


> being figgety. IS due to stress. and it helps release stress.
> I have no idea, for someone on how to not be stressed


It's not always because of stress. For example, I like coffee, but I'm pretty sensitive to caffeine. If I drink too much coffee I become overenergetic. I'm not stressed, I just have too much energy because of caffeine, which leads into non-calm body language.


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## Deleted member 756 (Mar 7, 2021)

Ocelot said:


> Yeah personality does matter in the sense that you cannot appear insecure or signal anything that might hint at you having a bad past.
> Acting like you know deep down you're better than others; not overly egotistical but you get what I mean.
> 
> I don't think it's possible to fake that well, that's why having a healthy and sociable upbringing is so important.


You’re right in some sense. But you can eventually emulate calmness by learning and pretending until it becomes second nature


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## eduardkoopman (Mar 7, 2021)

Wallenberg said:


> It's not always because of stress. For example, I like coffee, but I'm pretty sensitive to caffeine. If I drink too much coffee I become overenergetic. I'm not stressed, I just have too much energy because of caffeine, which leads into non-calm body language.


Not always.
But most often.


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## Deleted member 11388 (Mar 7, 2021)

Wallenberg said:


> I don't remember if I have already said this, but here it goes.
> 
> Many men, especially southern Europeans, and some others tend to fidget with their hands a lot. But not only them, many men from other places also do that too.
> 
> ...


++++, i heard girls complain about guys :"most guys are boring", "they are nervous", "they talk too much about themselves(prob because nervous"

But kinda hard to get to that state of mind and calmness unless you've been on 100+ dates tbh.

Be relaxed, not giving a shit gets you heaps of points.


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## Deleted member 10536 (Mar 8, 2021)

Never had this "problem". Didn't help me one little bit. I'd say otherwise, I'm too calm and spaced out even.


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## Patient A (Mar 9, 2021)

Intjcel said:


> Never had this "problem". Didn't help me one little bit. I'd say otherwise, I'm too calm and spaced out even.


Indeed nothing matters


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## Soalian (Mar 9, 2021)

Is this section turning into the .me version of r/trp ?


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## Deleted member 10185 (Mar 9, 2021)

Foids like me a lot because Im calm, behave like a gentleman, I listen to them and I try to understand them. Making jokes here and there. This might not work for every girls.. but it works. ...That it is me.... I cannot pretend to be something else


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## Norwooder (Mar 10, 2021)

Jamesothy said:


> Slowing things down is also a very good excercise. Not only your speaking, but your movements as well. It's good to really push yourself and even take this to the extreme in the beginning. Take it way past your comfort zone. Most people would be very surprised at just how slow you can take things without looking strange. Yeah, you'll get used to it.
> 
> With speach, somebody who talks fast all the time can give the impression that they're used to/afraid of being interrupted. It's like they want to hurry up and get everything out before someone inevitably cuts them off. It's not attractive at all.


Let em fkin talk mate, let em talk


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## R@m@ (Mar 14, 2021)

Wallenberg said:


> I don't remember if I have already said this, but here it goes.
> 
> Many men, especially southern Europeans, and some others tend to fidget with their hands a lot. But not only them, many men from other places also do that too.
> 
> ...


It's probably a primitive thing, men who are calm act better in situations of pressure.


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## Deleted member 1464 (Mar 14, 2021)

He told me to be calm and now I am calm thanks bro


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## BigBoy (Mar 14, 2021)

Beetleking88 said:


> Foids like me a lot because Im calm, behave like a gentleman, I listen to them and I try to understand them. Making jokes here and there. This might not work for every girls.. but it works. ...That it is me.... I cannot pretend to be something else


Joke or ded srs?


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## volcelfatcel (Mar 14, 2021)

Not bad advice, fidgeting constantly is unconfident behaviour. David Gandy patron of all mentalcels constantly fidgets and can't keep eye contact in some interviews, probably because he was bullied for being fat in school and started puberty late. So his unconfident persona carried over and it's extremely hard to change that.


Ocelot said:


> Yeah personality does matter in the sense that you cannot appear insecure or signal anything that might hint at you having a bad past.
> Acting like you know deep down you're better than others; not overly egotistical but you get what I mean.
> 
> I don't think it's possible to fake that well, that's why having a healthy and sociable upbringing is so important.


I'd agree with this, our early life experiences make our self esteem, there's nothing more brutal than being ugly in elementary, middle school especially even if you ascend in puberty you will still have mental issues like not trusting anyone. The most masc chad I know in my school 6'2, extremely dimorphic he was made fun of early high school and middle school for looking ogre at his tall height and he was humiliated by a foid in class, now that every foid has took a liking to him he doesn't trust anything they say and has massive trust issues alongside social anxiety, he only trusts me and a few other ppl. It's brutal because if this guy wasn't literally destroyed earlier in his life he may have been a more confident person.


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## Deleted member 10185 (Mar 14, 2021)

BigBoy said:


> Joke or ded srs?



Deds serious. Jerk attitude only works if the girl are jerk and childish immature.


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## volcelfatcel (Mar 14, 2021)

Beetleking88 said:


> Deds serious. Jerk attitude only works if the girl are jerk and childish immature.


I actually think being calm and collected almost a bit silent is what they mean by bad boy, ofc you need a good face to pull this off jfl, but it's definitely what I think they look for. Jerk attitude pulls in low quality women


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## Lihito (Mar 22, 2021)

everythingisacope said:


> being calm signals confidence
> also good thread, kind of water but the redpill is real past a looksthreshold


Redpill is after 6/10


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