135 insane alex jones quotes

[_MVP_]

1. “It’s as phony as a $3 bill.” (on the Sandy Hook shooting)
2. “My gut is, with the timing and everything that happened, this is staged.” (Sandy Hook)
3. “Folks, we got to get private investigators up to Sandy Hook right now.”
4. “The majority of frogs in most areas of the United States are now gay.” (on chemical effects)
5. “The reason there’s so many gay people now is because it’s a chemical warfare operation.”
6. “Of course there’s weather weapon stuff going on…” (government weather machines)
7. “They can create and steer groups of tornadoes.”
8. “Hillary Clinton has personally murdered children.” (Pizzagate)
9. “It’s actors playing different parts of different people… there’s a cover‑up.”
10. “When they get our guns, they can have their world tyranny.”
11. “Hitler took the guns. Stalin took the guns…”
12. “We’re gonna bring these crooks to justice!”
13. “The sleeping giant that is America is rising!”
14. “The Globalist Humpty Dumpty has had a great fall…”
15. “Juice boxes are part of a government operation to encourage homosexuality.”
16. “Bottled water contains fluoride — poison.”
17. “Potato chip bags contain hidden traces of MSG meant to manipulate us.”
18. “Lady Gaga’s Super Bowl halftime was a satanic ritual.”
19. “She wears meat suits and does all these rituals.”
20. “Government weather manipulation caused floods and tornado deaths.”
21. “There’s a New World Order planning to exterminate 80% of the population.”
22. “9/11 was an inside job orchestrated by globalists.”
23. Nearly every major shooting is a “false flag” to take guns.
24. “Obama is the global head of Al‑Qaeda.”
25. “Your government is introducing hormones to change sexual orientation.”
26. “When I say staged, I mean they knew it was going to happen and stood back…” (on staged events)
27. “You could say life is death.” (philosophical ramble)
28. “Cannibalism is very fashionable on the West Coast.”
29. “It’s a demon feast, folks!” (demon rhetoric)
30. “There are leprechauns.” (reported offhand remark)
31. “You could feel the intergalactic wind blowing through our souls.”
32. “Chinese Genome makes COVID target Chinese men.” (COVID bioweapon claim)
33. “Government uses weather and chemicals to control us.”
34. “They’re spraying the skies — watch for helicopters.”
35. “Actors are playing families of shooting victims.”
36. “The Air Force caused historic floods.”
37. “We’re living under a police state they don’t want you to know about.”
38. “Global elites are behind every major tragedy.”
39. “More guns means less crime.”
40. “The globalists want to live forever with advanced tech.”
41. “They’re trying to take our children with chemicals.”
42. “It’s a total cyber infiltration by China.”
43. “Government controls history.”
44. “Every time our liberty recedes, we barely notice.” (general distrust claim)
45. “Actors and crisis actors are everywhere faking tragedies.”

1. "I don’t like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay!"
2. "The reason there’s so many gay people now is because it’s a chemical warfare operation."
3. "They’re having Pepsi with baby flavoring in it."
4. "I’ve seen the videos of the juice boxes. They’re putting estrogen in the juice boxes to lower the sperm count of the next generation."
5. "They are literally harvesting organs from living babies."
6. "A lot of these people are literally not even human. They are some kind of biological entity."
7. "Tap water is a gay bomb."
8. "They’re putting human DNA into the goats now. I’ve seen the photos of the goat-men."
9. "Michelle Obama is a man. I have the photos. I’ve analyzed the shoulders."

Interdimensional & Supernatural Claims​

1. "The elite are literal vampires. They drink the blood of children to stay young."
2. "I’m not a human. I’m a pioneer. I’m an explorer. I’m a human, and I’m coming. I’m animated by God."
3. "They are communicating with interdimensional clockwork elves."
4. "Hillary Clinton is a literal demon. She smells like sulfur."
5. "I have seen the entities. They look like giant bipedal lizards."
6. "The globalists are trying to open a portal to another dimension to bring in the old gods."
7. "There are goblins in the White House. I don't want to see Trump kissing goblins!"
8. "The New World Order is a death cult that worships a giant stone owl."
9. "They have machines that can see into the future. It’s called 'Looking Glass' technology."
10. "Satanists have taken over the music industry to program your children's souls."

"The Globalists" & Government​

1. "9/11 was an inside job. Controlled demolitions, folks."
2. "The government is controlling the weather. They have the HAARP machines."
3. "They want to kill 80% of the world's population."
4. "I understood there's a kleptocracy working with psychopathic governments—clutches of evil that know the tricks of control."
5. "Obama and Hillary founded ISIS."
6. "FEMA is building concentration camps with plastic coffins for American citizens."
7. "The Moon landing was faked on a soundstage in Nevada."
8. "They’re using 5G to fry your brain and turn you into a zombie."
9. "George Soros is the head of a Nazi-style operation to destroy the West."
10. "The New World Order is using chemtrails to make the population docile."

Personal Rants & Bizarre Threats​

1. "I’m a sensitive person. I’m an artist. I’m a performer. I’m a writer."
2. "I will eat your leftists! I will eat your neighbors!" (During a rant about a potential food shortage).
3. "I'm like a tiger! I'm a human being! My heart is big! I'm a man!"
4. "You son of a bitch. You piece of shit. You fucking, goddamn fucker... I’ll beat your goddamn ass." (Directed at Congressman Adam Schiff).
5. "I’m not a joke. I’m the tip of the spear!"
6. "I have the documents! I have the white papers!"
7. "Listen, fuckhead, you have fucking crossed a line!"
8. "I’m going to go home and eat a big steak and then I’m going to come back and destroy you."
9. "I’m a pioneer! I’m an explorer! I’m a human, and I’m coming!"

Modern Tech & Pop Culture​

1. "Oreo cookies have pedophilia symbolism in the frosting patterns."
2. "The movie Machete was designed to start a race war between Mexicans and Americans."
3. "The Apple iPhone is a literal tracking device for the Antichrist."
4. "Justin Bieber is a tool of the New World Order to brainwash teenage girls."
5. "They’re putting microchips in the vaccines so they can turn you off like a lightbulb."
6. "The elites are planning to upload their brains into computers and live forever as digital gods."
7. "Post Malone is a great guy, but he’s being targeted by the shadow government."

• "I don't like 'em putting chemicals in the water that turn the friggin' frogs gay!"
• "Tap water is a gay bomb, baby!"
• "The majority of frogs in most areas of the United States are now gay."
• "I have the government documents where they said they're going to encourage homosexuality with chemicals so people don't have children."
• "Hillary Clinton is one of the most vicious serial killers the planet's ever seen."
• "Hillary Clinton has personally murdered, chopped up, and raped children."
• "She's a frickin' demon and she stinks... like sulfur. They smell like Hell." (about Hillary Clinton and Obama)
• "I never expected Trump charging into a goblin’s nest to not get some goblin vomit and slop and blood on him — I just don’t want to catch him in bed with a goblin."
• "Most of your top government people are child rapists, murdering scum."
• "I'm telling you folks, nerds are one of the most dangerous groups in this country, because they end up running things. But they still hate everybody, because they weren't the jocks in high school."
• "We're being invaded by South American walruses." (misheard or exaggerated in memes, but tied to border rants)
• "DESTROY THE CHILD. CORRUPT THEM ALL."
• "There’s nothing sexier than a jihadi because it’s so fun to have him step on your head and kick you in the gut."
• "I was told by people around [Clinton] that she's demon-possessed."
• "You keep telling me to shut up! This isn't a game! Our government is building FEMA camps!"
• "Look, when you realize how fake it all is; the football, the basketball, the Lady Gaga, the Justin Bieber... your children are turned into mindless vassals."
• "Justin Biebler says 'hand in your guns', 'pass the Cyber Security Act', and 'the police state is good'."
• "We're coming for ya, globalists!"
• "I hate you, my listeners hate you... we're going to defeat this anti-human scum."
• "Fill your hands... you start calling me a foreign agent, those are fucking fighting words."
• "I've never sucked any ding-dongs."
• "We're going Zimbabwe!"
• "They almost got like little curly hair down, and they’re just up there heiling Hitler." (describing some group)
• "Nerds... use their brains to hurt people."
• "The enemy, the powers that be, the manipulators behind the scenes play to our natural weaknesses."
• "Unfortunately folks we gotta help the innocents and face the demons that have taken over."
• "I appreciate you." (said in oddly wholesome moments amid chaos)
• "They need you to take the steps toward your own destruction."
• "Who controls the food supply controls the people; who controls the energy can control whole continents; who controls money can control the world." (paraphrasing Kissinger approvingly)
• "The left... have they gone collectively insane on a control-freak bent?"
• "Banning 'father' and 'mother,' banning the word 'husband' and 'wife'... that's so cultic."
• "I never said this... but I've talked to people that are in protective details, they're scared of her... she stinks of sulfur."
• "Come on over here!" (chasing someone down in a viral clip)
• "I'm done... you goddamn son of a bitch!"
• "He’s sucking globalist dick."
• "They tell your kids they gotta love Justin Biebler... instead of looking up to Thomas Jefferson or Nikola Tesla."
• "Magellan is a lot cooler than Justin Bieber!"
• "People are drunk on entertainment... drunk on stimuli."
• "The media never covers all the evil wars that's promoted."
• "I will break your jaw in seconds." (to Alec Baldwin)
• "Oh, they're so royal! We're lucky to have them coming here. But the rabble undoubtedly will be violent. Scum protesters... these insane schizophrenics have come to town." (mocking British accents)
• "I cry over Trump's decision to bomb Syria." (emotional rant)
• "The devil living on Saturn and all our good energies are being funnelled through space into the hexagon-shaped storm on Saturn." (agreeing with a guest)
• "I completely agree." (to the above Saturn devil claim)
• "We're gonna wreck their world... we're gonna defeat this anti-human scum!"