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[idkmanimao]

i've been growing up dealing with this bp shit my whole life without even noticing, in middle school I had a pretty good personality, pretty popular, some girls liked me, none of them dated me tho, they just rejected me without a second thought, or because they thought it would be rude to flat out reject me, so they kind of waited to give me hope, in like grade 2-4 I thought I had good soccer friends, they would make fun of me and shit, not let me play, I got kicked in the jaw by one of them and lost a tooth, then most of them proceeded to laugh right in front of my face while my mouth was bleeding alot, I ended up getting mad, tried to fight him, and everyone acted like I was in the wrong, the guy who kicked me in the jaw, we ended up becoming pretty good friends a few years latter (I guess he realized or felt bad about what happened) this other time (think in grade 5) I was in summer camp, there was these siblings (brother and sister) at first I thought I was decent friends with them, they started bullying me alot, it got so bad to the point where I almost broke the boys nose with my launch box out of anger, there are many most incidents like this and worse, I guess all this building up over the years had really changed me, then I discorved bp (I think starting semester of grade 9) it has still not done shit, just bringing me down lower and lower everyday, now all I do is try and figure out how to ascend or look a bit better (yet I still haven't done shit, i'm a fucking loser) I believe i'm depressed right now, or i'm starting to become, all I do now is either think about my past/what is yet to come or how to look better, most of my friends are fucking faggots, almost none of them can see or think of what i've been through because i'm always a "happy person" I really don't know what I should do or be doing right now, i'm really lost. i'll most likely kill myself sooner or later, but i'll see how long I can go for.

 

[Elir]

dnr

 

[Node]

Dnrn