18 years lost my truecell status (kinda)

[suub2incel]

so ig yesterday i finnaly lost my truecell status after 18 years but im more depressed then ever i know incels on here claim to have the worst lifes out of everyone but i disagree 2 years ago when i found out about bp i was so hurt but in that pain there was also hope and light at the end of the tunnel something to work towards

i know i told myself everyday while i cried myself to sleep when i ascend and finally have a girl laying in my bed next to me id be fufilled well 2 years fast foreward and ive done just that pulled a non ran true htb who made every first move ive had lots of ioi's but i mean im way to fucking nd to know what 2 do anyway yea fast foreward we finally get into me room we lay super close etc cuddle i only kiss cause i have no idea how 2 fuck and idk way to scared as well but i mean all i could think about the past where id cry myself to sleep realising the only reason shes w me just everything its all that was running true my mind

just void the one thing i tought would fix my broken soul only made it worse i genuinly would wanne go back to being sub5 incel who had hope

also i have no idea what 2 do next like do i keep ascending for the love of the game or im genuinly lost for 2 years its all i ever worked towards ig but like now what i went from lonly sub 5 incel to htn socially outgoing (nt) guy but feel more lonly then ever be4