One Rep Max
Master
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2024
- Posts
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I have never been lucky in love. During my teens years, I watched as the jocks had their pick of any girl they wanted. Because girls wanted them too. But I was never desired or seen as a person by girls. Perhaps it was partly my Aspergers, but I never had any desire to have sex at this age. I didn’t constantly think about boobs or touching them, my interests were mainly video games and music. Yes, in many ways, puberty struck me pretty late in the game. By my 20s, I started thinking about girls as not just classmates but sexual beings too. But my hormones thankfully never took over and led me to hurt a girl with my overeagerness. In college, I think it finally hit me what I was missing. Late one night, I woke up to noises coming from my roommate’s room. He had a girl in his room and they were having sex. I’d seen enough teen comedies by that point to guess what they were doing. And it sounded like fun! That doesn’t mean that I started to think of girls as nothing but playthings; I wished that I had an emotional connection with a girl.
And so, here I am. Almost 30 years old and I’ve never been in a relationship, had sex or even had a female friend. This has been eating at me for a long while. I have seen people my age and younger dating or getting married, and it just isn’t happening for me. I’ve tried dating sites/apps and opening up to girls more in group projects and social groups. But it’s clear to me now that girls don’t desire me or see my value as a human. And now, because of COVID, I don’t think that will change anytime soon. I suppose that I could just hire an escort to hang out with me for an afternoon or so; I would’ve never considered that an option before COVID.
But, at this point in my life, I need to feel some connection with girls. I know I’d be paying them to have sex, but I’d really be paying them to treat me like a human. Seriously, even if we are just playing Pokémon on Switch or talking about something stupid we saw on tv, I will feel more human than I’ve felt in a long time.
And so, here I am. Almost 30 years old and I’ve never been in a relationship, had sex or even had a female friend. This has been eating at me for a long while. I have seen people my age and younger dating or getting married, and it just isn’t happening for me. I’ve tried dating sites/apps and opening up to girls more in group projects and social groups. But it’s clear to me now that girls don’t desire me or see my value as a human. And now, because of COVID, I don’t think that will change anytime soon. I suppose that I could just hire an escort to hang out with me for an afternoon or so; I would’ve never considered that an option before COVID.
But, at this point in my life, I need to feel some connection with girls. I know I’d be paying them to have sex, but I’d really be paying them to treat me like a human. Seriously, even if we are just playing Pokémon on Switch or talking about something stupid we saw on tv, I will feel more human than I’ve felt in a long time.
