ElySioNs
Mercenary
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
- Posts
- 2,149
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Bit of a weird situation. I have never seen my wife naked…. and it’s making me feel very disconnected from her. I'm going to give up everything so you get a full picture. We have been together for over 23 years and we have an excellent marriage, great kids, we very very rarely argue. Somehow I just haven’t seen her fully naked. Odd nip slip by mistake and that’s it. No downstairs. I'm naked all the time around her. We regularly have sex as in sometimes it’s twice in one week sometimes it’s twice a month. We do it maybe 40 to 50 times a year. But it’s always in pitch black. Now I have always put it down to a body confidence issue which I have always respected. I always tell her how gorgeous she is, how fit she is, how much I fancy her, I always give her a kiss or a slap on the bum when we pass each other… so I don’t think it’s me…. Besides my wife actually has an amazing body, very slim petite, no stretch marks, no sagging boobs. (I’ve seen the occasional underboob). She’s like a perfect 10 model! 
When instigating it feels more of an allowance than want from her but once she is into it I feel like she wants it. If she has a drink however, she wants it. She will talk about how great that was after and sometimes a few days after. She has become more creative with sex in more recently years she has been into new positions, anal, double penetration, I even get the odd once a blue moon bj before nowadays. She will sometimes put porn on before hand if she instigates. Always tends to be MMF or group stuff. So the sex is actually getting better, she is almost becoming more comfortable. I know she self pleasures as the hidden away rabbit she denies using relocates itself and it’s always got good batteries. I also occasionally find her kind of porn in the search history on the iPad. I have always aimed to please in the bedroom, she always comes to orgasm first sometimes twice. Yes I know when she fakes it. She actually uses me to get off too if its taking a tad long or shes really horny. (thats kinda hot!). I'm 7 inches so I don't think its my size. I love giving oral but she doesnt like it she says its too much, so I haven't gone done on her for 18 years now, not without trying to gentle persuade occasionally. Overall it seems quite healthy but there are cracks that are becoming quite big for me. I have only slept with 2 other women. 1 was a 2 night fling. The other was my first girlfriend, 8 months duration, again lights off girl with zero imagination. My wife has I believe maybe 6 partners before me. She has told me the barebones of what I think was a MFF threesome and she has talked in riddles about 2 gay men she was in bed with once so I'm guessing that means it was a MMF threesome. She has let slip that her 6 year ex boyfriend, that she was a lights on, suspenders, thongs and all that jazz for him, she was a BJ and anal advocate with him too.
This is the first crack - Why is she so vanilla with me? Pretty much from the start. When we first got together she was a few months out of a relationship with the 6 year boyfriend who had cheated on her 3 times. I never questioned how she wanted things at first just in case she wanted to be more comfortable and accepted it because well I love her.
The second crack - When we are with our good friends she does brag a bit about how much we have sex. Which I suppose is actually quite a bit compared to our friends who are coupled. She is very open with talking about sex in the group. Annoying that's how I have found out about some of the past exploits before me. I am finding myself out with friends feeling a bit wounded and jealous about all the "experiences" that she has shared with other people other than me.
The third crack - Is it because she doesnt want to see me???? I have been a fairly fit man all of my life but I have gone a bit up and down with weight and I hate my nipples. I'm not bothered about her seeing them but I dont like the rest of the world seeing them. I am batting, as in i'm maybe a 6-7 and she is a 10. So is it me am I not fulfilling her fantasies when we do it so lights out?
The fourth and biggest crack - I have had to go on TRT due to adverse health. Now my hormones are the same as an 18 year old and I am randy as hell. All... the... time... We have talked about it but the broad and short is now I'm beating off 2-3 times a day and she cant seem to manage the mood enough for more than once a week or every other week. I'm fantasising about all scenarios with her and now other people. Ive developed a bit of a porn addiction specifically amateur/real couples. I actually want to perv over my wife naked not porn! Ive spoken to the doctor about the hormones and he said it’s a side effect that nothing he can do about.
Fifth crack- I very much feel like my sex life has been very underwhelming and I want to experiment. With my wife of course!
So whats happening in my head now is just rejection after rejection from my wife. She doesnt want me, she doesnt want to be naked around me, she had better sex with her other boyfriends in the past. I have tried to wiggle this into conversations but she doesnt want to talk about the past and she almost gets moody that im complaining about the lights considering we have all the sex. Ive now got some performance issues, which my doctor says 100% is psychosomatic and viagra is not the answer. I just want to have wild, lights on sex with my wife.... Lots of it...
When instigating it feels more of an allowance than want from her but once she is into it I feel like she wants it. If she has a drink however, she wants it. She will talk about how great that was after and sometimes a few days after. She has become more creative with sex in more recently years she has been into new positions, anal, double penetration, I even get the odd once a blue moon bj before nowadays. She will sometimes put porn on before hand if she instigates. Always tends to be MMF or group stuff. So the sex is actually getting better, she is almost becoming more comfortable. I know she self pleasures as the hidden away rabbit she denies using relocates itself and it’s always got good batteries. I also occasionally find her kind of porn in the search history on the iPad. I have always aimed to please in the bedroom, she always comes to orgasm first sometimes twice. Yes I know when she fakes it. She actually uses me to get off too if its taking a tad long or shes really horny. (thats kinda hot!). I'm 7 inches so I don't think its my size. I love giving oral but she doesnt like it she says its too much, so I haven't gone done on her for 18 years now, not without trying to gentle persuade occasionally. Overall it seems quite healthy but there are cracks that are becoming quite big for me. I have only slept with 2 other women. 1 was a 2 night fling. The other was my first girlfriend, 8 months duration, again lights off girl with zero imagination. My wife has I believe maybe 6 partners before me. She has told me the barebones of what I think was a MFF threesome and she has talked in riddles about 2 gay men she was in bed with once so I'm guessing that means it was a MMF threesome. She has let slip that her 6 year ex boyfriend, that she was a lights on, suspenders, thongs and all that jazz for him, she was a BJ and anal advocate with him too.This is the first crack - Why is she so vanilla with me? Pretty much from the start. When we first got together she was a few months out of a relationship with the 6 year boyfriend who had cheated on her 3 times. I never questioned how she wanted things at first just in case she wanted to be more comfortable and accepted it because well I love her.
The second crack - When we are with our good friends she does brag a bit about how much we have sex. Which I suppose is actually quite a bit compared to our friends who are coupled. She is very open with talking about sex in the group. Annoying that's how I have found out about some of the past exploits before me. I am finding myself out with friends feeling a bit wounded and jealous about all the "experiences" that she has shared with other people other than me.
The third crack - Is it because she doesnt want to see me???? I have been a fairly fit man all of my life but I have gone a bit up and down with weight and I hate my nipples. I'm not bothered about her seeing them but I dont like the rest of the world seeing them. I am batting, as in i'm maybe a 6-7 and she is a 10. So is it me am I not fulfilling her fantasies when we do it so lights out?
The fourth and biggest crack - I have had to go on TRT due to adverse health. Now my hormones are the same as an 18 year old and I am randy as hell. All... the... time... We have talked about it but the broad and short is now I'm beating off 2-3 times a day and she cant seem to manage the mood enough for more than once a week or every other week. I'm fantasising about all scenarios with her and now other people. Ive developed a bit of a porn addiction specifically amateur/real couples. I actually want to perv over my wife naked not porn! Ive spoken to the doctor about the hormones and he said it’s a side effect that nothing he can do about.
Fifth crack- I very much feel like my sex life has been very underwhelming and I want to experiment. With my wife of course!
So whats happening in my head now is just rejection after rejection from my wife. She doesnt want me, she doesnt want to be naked around me, she had better sex with her other boyfriends in the past. I have tried to wiggle this into conversations but she doesnt want to talk about the past and she almost gets moody that im complaining about the lights considering we have all the sex. Ive now got some performance issues, which my doctor says 100% is psychosomatic and viagra is not the answer. I just want to have wild, lights on sex with my wife.... Lots of it...
