astatin
Previously Iblamemyse1f
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2025
- Posts
- 2,039
- Reputation
- 3,663
She brung nothing to the table, she made me insecure for my height, she drunk, she smoked, she did drugs, she had alot of guy friends. But I didn't see that. I saw a traumatised little girl that needs love. Too bad that I didn't know she was right out of a relationship. She was literally nothing like me, nothing about her was like me, yet i still can't forget her.
I don't know why it's the way it is. She cheated on me and for some reason i never said the things I wanted to say. The moment i found out i literally started uncontrollably shaking. It just hurt me so much.
From the day this happened to now, I only had 2 situationships that didn't work out. I just can't feel feelings for them. And it sucks.
I don't understand myself either. Idk if im not over because i still miss her, i try to believe i don't but tbh i don't even know. Maybe I'm not over because I was never able to say the things I wanted to say, or maybe I just miss the connection we had.
I felt worse when i was with her. Even after finding out the truth i felt some peace in my heart. I literally cried almost everyday I was with her. Now i can't even cry, the sadness is there but the tears don't come out.
After her and even with her my panic attacks came back, I was so fucking scared of everything.
Honestly she ruined me in ways i was never ruined, she made me feel worse than the night my house got swatted at only 13 years old, the disappointment i felt from my parents was nothing compared to what I felt the entire 3months with her.
This rant is so stupid, and it would just get dnr'd by alot of people. Idc about that, I just wanted to type out my thoughts. I want this to be out there. If someone even cares well know that you're an awesome human being.
Anyways thats probably enough.
I don't know why it's the way it is. She cheated on me and for some reason i never said the things I wanted to say. The moment i found out i literally started uncontrollably shaking. It just hurt me so much.
From the day this happened to now, I only had 2 situationships that didn't work out. I just can't feel feelings for them. And it sucks.
I don't understand myself either. Idk if im not over because i still miss her, i try to believe i don't but tbh i don't even know. Maybe I'm not over because I was never able to say the things I wanted to say, or maybe I just miss the connection we had.
I felt worse when i was with her. Even after finding out the truth i felt some peace in my heart. I literally cried almost everyday I was with her. Now i can't even cry, the sadness is there but the tears don't come out.
After her and even with her my panic attacks came back, I was so fucking scared of everything.
Honestly she ruined me in ways i was never ruined, she made me feel worse than the night my house got swatted at only 13 years old, the disappointment i felt from my parents was nothing compared to what I felt the entire 3months with her.
This rant is so stupid, and it would just get dnr'd by alot of people. Idc about that, I just wanted to type out my thoughts. I want this to be out there. If someone even cares well know that you're an awesome human being.
Anyways thats probably enough.
