6'1 and HTN. Never got a girlfriend because of autism (DNR not allowed)

[roadtochang123]

TITLE... Am i Low-T, extremely high inhib or just cuck genes?

I grew up being mentally retarded asf, I was this social degenerate where I spammed any memes I have collected on discord to my class's groupchat. I was 12 yo and I came from a place where these kind of memes are extremely rarely used.. (I live in a non-English speaking rural city). Compounded with destroyed mental state from the brutal familypill, my autism was off the roof.

Fast forwarded a year later, my life is still the same, until when I started changing my clothes and was higher than most boys my school with a cutecel face, I got a couple of beckies that liked me. I was legit very social anxious, everywhere i walked in public, my heartbeat was fucking racing and i thought everybody was glancing at me + hormonal imbalances during this age got my behaviours douched. So I didn't know how to talk to them and spat out the most terrible words ever, literally still thinking about them sometimes now

Highschool freshman, I liked this girl, confessed and she dumped me a day later. Prob because i was ugly as shit, and went for my LTN friend (me and him are cool though) (i think i dodged a bullet). I posted a thirst trap on my tik tok and got made fun of it (brootal). I legit looked like an overweight subhuman back then
I also confessed to like a few girls to lower my inhib, although i did confessed in person. I just gave them gifts and ran away like a faggot

Now i'm a highschool senior, I ascended to legit chadlite in where I live because and got a growth spurt. Sadly luck didn't come to me, I got liked by this low MTB, she made a burner account and talked to me for like a few days. After i found out who she was, I said i was gay and blocked her Then later, her high MTB friend also made a burner account to talk to me, and me and her exchanged otp for a month, she confessed her feelings to me and i also rejected bcs I didn't know who she was and i was afraid of a whale liking me I swear this is the worst fumble of my entire life After that I

Then again, i confessed to this MTB and she rejected me, she said she thought I was like a senior to her and wants to be friends with me. Obviously because i was ugly asf, I let go of my looks, went from 12% BF to 20% BF and got a shit haircut so she wouldnt even considered me as a potential love interest. Im also not some degenerate thinking about some elliot rodger or fucking narcissist shit yk. My autism activated again and I kept messaging her for a whole month straight (ropefuel).

Now that i've got back to 12% Bf. How do you even get a girl when ur mentally handicapped