Aviddegree40571
Iron
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2024
- Posts
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Hello, call me Avid.
This will be my first high-effort thread
, and I hope some of you can relate. Hopefully, it won’t be too boring for those with a short attention span.
First of all, no matter what kind of person you are, I genuinely wish you the best and hope life turns out amazing for you.
Today, I want to talk about my life situation and, hopefully, get some real advice or connect with people who have been in similar situations.
Pre-primary School
I used to be “popular” in kindergarten, so I assume I was born neurotypical. I was almost diagnosed with ADHD(basically a mild form of autism), but my mom somehow prevented it.
Primary School
It all really began in childhood. My first “blackpill” encounter happened when my parents forced me to give roses to all the girls in my class and a special rose bag with a ring to my crush. I was maybe 8 years old at the time. She saw the ring and brutally rejected me in front of the whole class. At the time, I brushed it off, but looking back, it was brutal.
I was bullied when I was younger, though I eventually became friendly with my bullies. I used to go outside a decent amount to play with other kids. I also fought a lot because I had severe anger issues (I still have them, but I stopped punching people around age 14).
By the time I finished primary school, I didn’t really have any friends and lost contact with my classmates.
High School 1-3rd year (low ltn)
On my first day, I wore a suit because my mom insisted, but everyone else was dressed casually. I stood out, and I didn’t know anyone since most of them already knew each other.
Over the years, I became friendly with some people and was the class clown throughout high school. People knew me as the “autistic idiot,” but I enjoyed it because I loved being myself with my school friends.
However, the girls hated me for being childish, and I was an awkward, skinny-fat kid. I didn’t have friends outside school and only did sports like judo for a few years.
The teachers hated me, and I was kicked out of class countless times. By the third year, our classes were reshuffled, leaving me with only three school friends. The new classmates found me funny but also childish and didn’t hang out with me outside school.
I remained the class “retard” who got zero interaction from girls. I was also taunted for my large nose and my mixed Dutch-Caucasian background.
4th Year and Depression (low mtn)
During my fourth year, our classes split again, leaving me with none of my previous friends. Around this time, my dog, who was like a brother to me (I’m an only child), passed away. This triggered a severe depression and the start of my downfall.
A friend mocked me for grieving my dog, and I was so furious I wanted to hurt him. I cried myself to sleep almost every night and realized my social life was dead. My insecurities grew, and I quit working out for four months, which made me feel worse.
Around this time, I turned to Orthodox Christianity, even though my family never forced religion on me. I bought a Bible, prayed daily, and found temporary peace. But I struggled with guilt over “lustful sins,” which led me back into depression.
I became angry and took my frustration out on my parents, despite knowing they were always there for me which made me even feel worse by feeling (and being) a terrible son. By the end of the fifth year, I was a mess, crying often and feeling hopeless (wanted to rope 24/7 and even almost got caught reading a suicide document on how to rope by my father).
Vacation and Rhinoplasty (Mid mtn)
After passing my exams, I went to Georgia for six weeks. I got a Georgian passport, making me a dual citizen. I also got a rhinoplasty (both for medical and aesthetic reasons), covered by insurance.
For the first time, I felt confident and received compliments about my height (6’3”) and appearance. However, I still struggled with insecurity due to swelling from the surgery and became obsessed with “looksmaxxing.”
College (Present) (Ascended to mid htn (rated by other people most htn but some mtn and also chadlites) bc of rhino)
At 16, I started college, where I knew no one. Initially, I socialized with a few people, but after two weeks (both girls and guys), I became quiet and withdrawn again. Most of my classmates were older (21+), and I didn’t share their interests.
Despite being considered attractive(based on compliments in real life, online, real life experience and ratings), my personality reflects my “sub-5” childhood. People often dislike me, and one classmate even told me, “Nobody likes you” and "you look like a gay vampire". I only slay online which is pathetic (Mtbs and htbs). I am a virgin but i want to save it for marriage and wont date until 21. (not me having even have the option to date because of my retardation)
I’m not a hateful person, but I’ve always been disliked, possibly due to my autism. I’ve now dropped out of college to take a mental health break.
Currently, I spend most of my time at home, except for work, the gym, or gaming with friends on Discord. I plan to get a Herbst device for my overbite soon. I hope to move to Georgia by 23, but for now, I’m just passively depressed, occasionally happy, and living a mostly meaningless life.
I still have hope for a better future because I think I’ll look and feel better as I age. Any advice on what to do with my life?
Thank you for reading this. I genuinely wish you all a great day and life.
This will be my first high-effort thread
, and I hope some of you can relate. Hopefully, it won’t be too boring for those with a short attention span.First of all, no matter what kind of person you are, I genuinely wish you the best and hope life turns out amazing for you
.Today, I want to talk about my life situation and, hopefully, get some real advice or connect with people who have been in similar situations
.Pre-primary School
I used to be “popular” in kindergarten, so I assume I was born neurotypical. I was almost diagnosed with ADHD
(basically a mild form of autism), but my mom somehow prevented it.Primary School
It all really began in childhood. My first “blackpill”
encounter happened when my parents forced me to give roses to all the girls in my class and a special rose bag with a ring to my crush. I was maybe 8 years old at the time. She saw the ring and brutally rejected me in front of the whole class. At the time, I brushed it off, but looking back, it was brutal.I was bullied when I was younger, though I eventually became friendly with my bullies. I used to go outside a decent amount to play with other kids. I also fought a lot because I had severe anger issues (I still have them, but I stopped punching people around age 14).
By the time I finished primary school, I didn’t really have any friends and lost contact with my classmates
.High School 1-3rd year (low ltn)
On my first day, I wore a suit because my mom insisted, but everyone else was dressed casually. I stood out, and I didn’t know anyone since most of them already knew each other.
Over the years, I became friendly with some people and was the class clown throughout high school. People knew me as the “autistic idiot,”
but I enjoyed it because I loved being myself with my school friends.However, the girls hated me for being childish, and I was an awkward, skinny-fat kid
. I didn’t have friends outside school and only did sports like judo for a few years.The teachers hated me, and I was kicked out of class countless times
. By the third year, our classes were reshuffled, leaving me with only three school friends. The new classmates found me funny but also childish and didn’t hang out with me outside school.I remained the class “retard” who got zero interaction from girls
. I was also taunted for my large nose and my mixed Dutch-Caucasian background.4th Year and Depression (low mtn)
During my fourth year, our classes split again, leaving me with none of my previous friends. Around this time, my dog, who was like a brother to me (I’m an only child), passed away
. This triggered a severe depression and the start of my downfall.A friend mocked me for grieving my dog, and I was so furious I wanted to hurt him
. I cried myself to sleep almost every night and realized my social life was dead. My insecurities grew, and I quit working out for four months, which made me feel worse.Around this time, I turned to Orthodox Christianity
, even though my family never forced religion on me. I bought a Bible, prayed daily, and found temporary peace. But I struggled with guilt over “lustful sins,” which led me back into depression.I became angry and took my frustration out on my parents, despite knowing they were always there for me which made me even feel worse by feeling (and being) a terrible son
. By the end of the fifth year, I was a mess, crying often and feeling hopeless (wanted to rope 24/7 and even almost got caught reading a suicide document on how to rope by my father).Vacation and Rhinoplasty (Mid mtn)
After passing my exams, I went to Georgia for six weeks. I got a Georgian passport, making me a dual citizen. I also got a rhinoplasty (both for medical and aesthetic reasons), covered by insurance
.For the first time, I felt confident and received compliments about my height (6’3”) and appearance
. However, I still struggled with insecurity due to swelling from the surgery and became obsessed with “looksmaxxing.”College (Present) (Ascended to mid htn (rated by other people most htn but some mtn and also chadlites) bc of rhino)
At 16, I started college
, where I knew no one. Initially, I socialized with a few people, but after two weeks (both girls and guys), I became quiet and withdrawn again. Most of my classmates were older (21+), and I didn’t share their interests.Despite being considered attractive
(based on compliments in real life, online, real life experience and ratings), my personality reflects my “sub-5” childhood. People often dislike me, and one classmate even told me, “Nobody likes you” and "you look like a gay vampire". I only slay online which is pathetic (Mtbs and htbs). I am a virgin but i want to save it for marriage and wont date until 21. (not me having even have the option to date because of my retardation)I’m not a hateful person, but I’ve always been disliked, possibly due to my autism
. I’ve now dropped out of college to take a mental health break.Currently, I spend most of my time at home, except for work, the gym, or gaming with friends on Discord. I plan to get a Herbst device for my overbite soon. I hope to move to Georgia by 23, but for now, I’m just passively depressed, occasionally happy, and living a mostly meaningless life
.I still have hope for a better future because I think I’ll look and feel better as I age
. Any advice on what to do with my life?Thank you for reading this. I genuinely wish you all a great day and life.
