A Lack of Purpose

[Anker]

I lack a purpose in life. I can momentarily distract myself from it, doing day to day things, but it is always there deep inside. I am grateful for my life, my parents/family, my friends and almost everything else, but still, I feel I lack something. I have tried finding it in God, and I got baptized half a year ago. It helped me a lot, but now the spiritual drunkenness has worn of. I sadly don't now if God exists or not any longer, and I fear he doesn't. Now I also feel sort of hostile towards the church. I fasted a great deal and went down 15 pounds (7 kilos). It made me stop going to the gym, something I had been doing for 3 years. I am now back at the gym, eating a ton of meat, eggs, milk and so on. It feels great to be back, but I still feel sort of empty. I have tried reading some non christian philosophy again, but it is hard for me to not see it as cope. I don't know what to do. Why couldn't I be born with a worldy mission, like Napoleon or something.

 

[GonorrhoeaGobbler]

direct all your hate to saving europa

 

[Anker]

I sympatize with the movement. I am in fact an blue-eyed and blond aryan, but there really isn't much for me to do about it. I have grown up in the system, and have many friends of the doctor and engineer type. Still, i don't understand how we are supposed to save Europe without a mass genocide, which I wouldn't support. We are all worth the same, even if you are a doctor or engineer, or an aryan.