A MOMENT OF CLARITY: I'm an oldcel Chad

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

Yes. Old. Older than a prehistoric penis fossil. Ugh. Well, not that old—although my guests are. Yes. Guests. I'd rather not discuss it further, or you'll think I'm too cool.

I have a vagina-aching muscular body women want to grind and squirt on. But I'm not single. Only one can grind this jackhammer apparatus. It is what it is. "Sorry, girls. Get to the back of the line. This section's for loyal lovers."

I imagine some of you are confused. Perhaps, you're feeling, "Dude, we already knew this, you old fuck!" Or maybe some of you are thinking, "No way!" In a sarcastic tone.

Well. I say, "Good day to you." But don't allow my age to drive you into age supremacy. We have too many haters as it is.

And I do have a big dick. Ngl. But you won't see me slapping it against your faces using images. That would disrespect my gf. And I happen to be a mature, responsible older gentleman. Fr.

When I created Big Jim's Worn Out Tire Sale, it was mainly as a way to disguise my true identity, which is Big Jim's Used Tire Sale. I figured no one would put two and two together, especially my orbiters, women. They can't even do basic common sense math such as, "Penis + my vagina + bareback + ejaculation inside = Oh, you go, girl!" And so they're shocked by the positive result; for the fifth time that year, they're pregnant. And off to the abortion clinic they go! Sad.

But I have a sensation some of you were doing the arithmetic. And I'm the last feller to mislead anyone. So I figured, why not! Tell them the truth.

I hope this obvious information doesn't persuade you to think, "Liar! You still live in your parents' basement and haven't touched a vagina in your life!" And if you do...well. I tried.

 

[Deleted member 18244]

Even old chads need love. Just don’t fall for that ‘conquers all’ bullshyte.

Your oneitis’ fleeting validation won’t save you when old lady chlamydia comes knocking on your penis-door.

 

[mug]

Bro my dads like 55 and people say he looks 30 im a chad dadcel

 

[ChristianChad]

I love you brother!

 

[ChristianChad]

Bro my dads like 55 and people say he looks 30 im a chad dadcel

My dad is more Chad

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

Bro my dads like 55 and people say he looks 30 im a chad dadcel

No one believes my age outside the Devil's Playground. They think I'm much younger and women usually don't care but I don't care if they care or not. My heart and penis belong to one.

 

[mug]

My dad is more Chad

Did I ask?

 

[ChristianChad]

Did I ask?

No, sorry. I'm just uncreative. Ugh.

 

[mug]

No, sorry. I'm just uncreative. Ugh.

You need to leave

 

[ChristianChad]

You need to leave

 

[mug]

View attachment 1749378View attachment 1749380View attachment 1749379

Im actually reporting you to the fbi, have fun in jail

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

My dad is more Chad

Some guys my age fights their reality by driving muscle cars, dying their hair, and dressing like a teenager. Fucking stupid. I do what I've always done. Take care of my body and especially my mind. Before my gf, I didn't put myself out there and never had I tried dating women decades younger. But they came on to me. Constantly. And one manipulated my penis. Brutal. I felt sexually abused. Then two of them raped me. And before they left, one of them said, "No one is going to believe you if you go to the cops. On the contrary, they'll probably high-five you. Boy!" Yeah, she even degraded me into that hateful word, Boy.

 

[Deleted member 18244]

Ugh, was all she said,
As I lay sweltering in the offtopic dread.
Yet I wonder how it came to pass,
For this forum to become so ass

 

[mug]

Ugh, was all she said,
As I lay sweltering in the offtopic dread.
Yet I wonder how it came to pass,
For this forum to become so ass

 

[ChristianChad]

Some guys my age fights their reality by driving muscle cars, dying their hair, and dressing like a teenager. Fucking stupid. I do what I've always done. Take care of my body and especially my mind. Before my gf, I didn't put myself out there and never had I tried dating women decades younger. But they came on to me. Constantly. And one manipulated my penis. Brutal. I felt sexually abused. Then two of them raped me. And before they left, one of them said, "No one is going to believe you if you go to the cops. On the contrary, they'll probably high-five you. Boy!" Yeah, she even degraded me into that hateful word, Boy.

Shit nigger, as long as you date young women your age doesn't matter. Just don't settle for an old hag Jim, you deserve better.

How do you feel about the young women of today? Are they subpar quality or alright?

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

I have to get a new controller. Piece of shit won't work right lots of lag when turning. Yet my mouse and keyboard work just fine. POS steelseries.

 

[ChristianChad]

I have to get a new controller. Piece of shit won't work right lots of lag when turning. Yet my mouse and keyboard work just fine. POS steelseries.

Slow down there Jim.
And video games are for losers anyway.

 

[ChristianChad]

Although I'd love to play some L4D2 or Apex Legends with you one day

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

Shit nigger, as long as you date young women your age doesn't matter. Just don't settle for an old hag Jim, you deserve better.

How do you feel about the young women of today? Are they subpar quality or alright?

Nah. My heart belongs to one woman. When you're younger, your skin's new. But that's about it. It's the soul inside that matters. And as you get older, your body gets worn down from Earth's harsh atmosphere and conditions. And tbh, the way I think today is exactly the same as when I was 2 years old. I remember everything. My thoughts remain constant.

 

[ChristianChad]

Nah. My heart belongs to one woman. When you're younger, your skin's new. But that's about it. It's the soul inside that matters. And as you get older, your body gets worn down from Earth's harsh atmosphere and conditions. And tbh, the way I think today is exactly the same as when I was 2 years old. I remember everything. My thoughts remain constant.

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

View attachment 1749396

Brutal. That's why you need to keep your shit jackhammering! Keep the body moving and pumping. When you place it idle, either sitting on a sofa or behind a desk all day and night, your body will assume it's in danger. So it'll store more fat and burn muscle for conservation. So you need to hack your own body; tweak that shit!

 

[Vermilioncore]

No cap? You bussin’ nigga? On your momma? Fr? Ugh I just cannot keep up with this blingo lingo! Generation Z is just bussin!

Just the other day I went to the mall after work, y’know, just some post-work shopping, snacking, yadayadayada, and I happen upon a kiosk. “No cap, that jawline is heat!” A girl says, darting a quick glance my way faster than a fucking kite leaving the hands of a boy during a turbulent, windy day in the park. “Heat?” I quickly come to my senses and remember that heat means amazing or sexy or fucking gnarly. “Oh, you cappin? Na, fr? Thanks!” I responded after what seemed like an eternity of silence. I quickly leave the forlorn slut’s presence. My penis is already an inhabitant of a box I find to be loving, cozy, and beautifully pink. Ugh, a used up box wants my penis? The thought almost made me vomit.

I then went home to fuck my pure girl until sunrise.

*insert thug life sunglasses meme over my face*

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

No cap? You bussin’ nigga? On your momma? Fr? Ugh I just cannot keep up with this blingo lingo! Generation Z is just bussin!

Just the other day I went to the mall after work, y’know, just some post-work shopping, snacking, yadayadayada, and I happen upon a kiosk. “No cap, that jawline is heat!” A girl says, darting a quick glance my way faster than a fucking kite leaving the hands of a boy during a turbulent, windy day in the park. “Heat?” I quickly come to my senses and remember that heat means amazing or sexy or fucking gnarly. “Oh, you cappin? Na, fr? Thanks!” I responded after what seemed like an eternity of silence. I quickly leave the forlorn slut’s presence. My penis is already an inhabitant of a box I find to be loving, cozy, and beautifully pink. Ugh, a used up box wants my penis? The thought almost made me vomit.

I then went home to fuck my pure girl until sunrise.

*insert thug life sunglasses meme over my face*

fr, nigga. fr, real. not that phony real. for real, real! gangster roll.

 

[Deleted member 18603]

mogs me at the grave

 

[Chadeep]

How many women did you knock before becoming a man of God?

 

[BigJimsWornOutTires]

mogs me at the grave

How did you know? You're another psychic, uh? Brutal. But yes, I donated my body to a body farm with conditions! There's a university in Tennessee called UT. And they have a body farm. Ngl. Fr. The donated subjects are used by forensic students and the FBI studying body decomposition, yaddayaddayaddda. The body, after it dies, is either placed in an open field, inside a trunk, storage shed, in a pond, etc. Then the students record the decomposition. Sometimes, the feds use the joint for their investigations.

Anyway, anyone can donate their body to the farm. But seldomly can they demand conditions. Well, they allowed my rules because, as one of the students said, "Fuck yeah! That sounds awesome! Let's do it!"

THE CONDITIONS I APPLIED:

• I will be naked.
• Students can fondle me for research purposes.
• UT AGREES NOT TO REMOVE MY BIG PENIS!
• My cadaver must be tossed from a moving pickup truck by two intoxicated hillbillies as one will immediately scream, "HE-HAW!"
• Surveillance cameras are not allowed around my body.
• The fence nearest my body must be breached, thus allowing intoxicated students to trespass on the farm during late night hours and do creepy things to my body.
• Marijuana seeds, or starter plants, can be inserted into my asshole for botanical garden analysis objectives.

How many women did you knock before becoming a man of God?

Many. But they came on to me. So. It wasn't my fault. Unless I brought that on to myself. Perhaps. Perhaps.