After reading Jason Voorhees' thread, "I love winters," the Christmas spirit inspired me to parody a carol

BigJimsWornOutTires

BigJimsWornOutTires

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Here cums Santa Claus, here cums Santa Claus, all over your mother.
Bubba and Buck are also engaged in this Christmas slay.
She is moaning, all of her holes are compact and tight.
So grab your phone and hit record, Santa Claus cums tonight.

Here cums Santa Claus, here cums Santa Claus, all over your mother.
He's got a ballsack filled with semen ready to fashion snow.
Hear her pussy squishy squishy, oh what a beautiful sight.
Bring your camera for a close-up view of Santa's moneyshot.

Here cums Santa Claus, here cums Santa Claus, all over your mother.
He'll squirt her face, dribble on her tits, sprinkle your presents too.
Bubba cums next, so does Buck, oh wow, check out this sight.
So let's thank liberals, power to women, Satan comes with her rights.


I had to stop there with my spoof when I discovered how gravely disturbing the original carol ends. The lyrics are as follows, "He is a miracle come to all if we just follow the light. So let's give thanks to the Lord above, 'cause Santa Claus comes tonight."

Let's thank the Lord for corporation exploiters disguised as an old pedophile who breaks into people's homes, eat their snacks, drink their milk (from the carton, no telling what STDs are in his backwash,) and leave behind Made in China junk of idols to worship?

Ugh, there is no limit to how perverted the Devil's disciples will go. They use an imaginary creepy old man who wears a woman's fur coat, which was made from real minks the elves poached in South America during a drug trade. Did you really believe they hard labor 24/7 on candy canes? Cocaine! The retarded elves are loaded on snow. They're so high most of the time, they think reindeer can fly. Ugh, so many have perished to their death from elves pushing them off of cliffs, "Fly, deer! Fly!" Trust me, reindeer aren't flying the jolly old fuck around the world. Dragons!

Santa's also an antisocialist living in the icy mountains, married to his daughter, Mrs Claus. He won't even give her a first name—what a cruel asshole. Name her, you jerk! And the elves are the product of this disturbing procreation. Of course, they're all tiny with beady crossed eyes, the fuck you thought a dad and daughter reproduce? Giant Chads and Hot Stacies?

However, Mrs Claus' biological mother, Disney has been too busy with her sneaky narratives rather than spend quality time with her husband and daughter-wife. Mom hasn't seen Mrs Claus since she joined Hollywood in 1923. After she abandoned her daughter and husband, Santa gazed at the toddler and said, "Ho ho ho, Christmas every day for me now." Sick motherfucker!

Originally, the idea was appropriate and delightful. Celebrating the birth of a good man who did impossibles and was later murdered by the people he loved the most. But the wicked rich society demanded ownership of the holiday. They didn't believe in impossibles; miracles. They believed in money, land grabs, and power over the people. So they hijacked the holiday and made it theirs then appointed a fictional old pedophile to represent the spirit of Christmas. Then as a clever slap across the face of churches, they named him with a play on words. They wanted to use Satan but their think tank disagreed, "Ugh, too obvious there. Perhaps, take the letter n and move it in front of the t... right?" Santa > Satan.

Harry Potter Lol GIF by Sky
Alaska Thunderfuck Applause GIF by Shudder


As for Claus, originally, it was Clause. And thus, a stipulation to the contract with Satan. Get them while they're young. Accept Santa as your new lord and savior. "He is a miracle come to all if we just follow the light." That miracle is Santa (Satan.) "So let's give thanks to the Lord above..." And he rides his sleigh above your homes.

We were all deceived. They used children to achieve this sick disgusting objective. These people are evil, yet clever. Look how they tricked us with another witticism, Lived. Reverse the word.

Amazing how soulless corporations and Hollywood are. They took advantage of children's imagination and used the church as a guilt trip against the parents. Back during dinosaur TV sets, they lured kids with cartoons and then manipulated them using commercials for their products. They'll groom the child and teach him how to exploit the parents to buy the toy. "G.I Joe! Let your mommy know! If she loves you and believes in the Lord, she will tell Santa Claus to bring you a G.I. Joe. But if you don't get one this Christmas, you're a naughty little demon who will burn in Hell for eternity." Subliminal messages were present.

No wonder why I'm so fucked up in the head. I never got a G.I. Joe. Instead, Avon soaps. Ugh. The cryptic metaphors never end. Reverse Avon, Nova.
 
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holy waterfall dnrd
 
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Why is she so obsessed with this forum?

I'm trying to decipher this coded image to no avail. Are you saying prescription eyeglasses won't improve a horse's poor eyesight? And hence, the pedestrian is still run over.

Thats a racist photo!!! 😡😡😡😡😡
Everyone's a racist. Even racists are racists against other racists.

holy waterfall dnrd
But why?
 
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