AITA for being a homewrecker and a cheater, or was I sexually assaulted?

ElySioNs

ElySioNs

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I, (20f), had this friend for a while (also 20f) who I will call Alice. I’ve known Alice since we were in the 5th grade together, so roughly 9 years, although we didn’t start being friends until around 6 years ago. She is a compulsive liar, and we’ve had a very toxic, on-and-off friendship throughout the years. I have many stories I could tell about her. She currrently has a boyfriend (35m) who I will call Jake. I found out she was pregnant with his baby sometime around the end of 2022 when I was stalking her Instagram.

Me and Alice weren’t talking at that time. I decided to become friends with her again after finding out she was going to have a baby, seeing as we were both pretty lonely and needed a friend at the time. Her and Jake ended up having the baby in March of 2023. We hung out a few times throughout 2023, but we were never super close like we used to be. I also have a boyfriend (m19), who has been nothing but kind to me throughout all of this. Now for the real story…

One day at the beginning of December, me and Alice made last minute plans to hang out with her boyfriend at his apartment. He picked both me and Alice up that night, then we headed to the liquor store to get a bottle of 99 brand. Obviously he bought it for us, seeing as we are underage. When we got back to his apartment, we decided to play king’s cup. If you don’t know what that is, just look it up. It all felt really normal at first, until Jake kept getting 9, which is the rule where you have to ask someone a question.

He started asking me some weird questions, like if I’ve ever had sex with a man (I hadn’t yet), or if me and Alice had ever kissed. We ended up finishing the whole bottle, and I ended up blacking out at some point. The last thing that I remember before blacking out was that Jake was in the bathroom puking because he doesn’t drink much, so he drank way more than he could handle that night as well. The next thing I know, I’m naked on the bed with Jake on top of me, doing you-know-what.

I don’t remember too much from the act itself, but I can remember bits and pieces. I remember that it really hurt, but I was too afraid to tell him to stop because of how into it he was. He’e also one of those dudes who’s always at the gym, so he was huge compared to me. I also remember Jake getting off of me and doing it with a naked Alice too at some point, so Alice claims that it was a threesome. I don’t remember if me and Alice did anything together that night, but I don’t think we did.

Anyways, it didn’t last too long from what I remember, and afterwords we just put on a movie and went to sleep. The next morning, I talked with Alice to see if she remembers what happened between playing king’s cup and the threesome, and I just don’t know if I believe her. She told me that we ended up going to the hot tub after we finished playing king’s cup.

For context, I was on my period that night, and she kept asking me ALL NIGHT if I felt like going to the hot tub yet. I said no every time she asked, and I don’t know how in the world she ended up convincing me to go. I’m very easily manipulated, especially when I’m drunk. I noticed that my clothes smelled like chlorine, so I know she isn’t lying about that part.

However, she claimed that I started making advances towards her boyfriend in the hot tub, which I just don’t know if I believe. She claims that I wouldn’t stop talking about how hot he was, and how I was begging for him touch my ass and stuff… she also claims that I was the one who suggested the idea of the threesome. I’m just personally not the kind of person to make advances like that, even when I am violently drunk, so I find this all very hard to believe. That, and the fact that I’ve never really been interested in having sex with a man before, and certainly wasn’t ever interested in Jake.

I’ve also just never really been attracted to her either, which is nothing against her. She’s just not my type. She made an advance on me once when we were in high school, but I politely declined because I had a girlfriend at the time. Anyways, I feel as though I could have been pressured or manipulated into the threesome, but I just can’t say for sure because I don’t even remember going to the hot tub.

I also asked her what we did with the baby, because I really hope that we didn’t just leave her in the apartment alone. Alice claims that we brought her, and that Jake was watching after her very closely. I felt very against the idea of all of us drinking while watching after a child, and I wish I would have just stayed sober that night… but I didn’t. There’s not much I can do about that now, and I know that I’m complacent in that. I feel really guilty about it, and will never drink while looking after a child again.

I told my mom about everything that happened and what I did when I got home, because I was very confused and felt very guilty for everything, and just needed to talk about it. My mom was very upset, and told me that I was sexually assaulted. I told her that I wasn’t, because I never told him to stop and that he was also very drunk.

She says I was because 1. Jake provided the alcohol to underage girls in the first place, 2. I don’t remember consenting, and 3. Alice claims she could tell that I was blacked out, so she shouldn’t have brought me to the hot tub, and shouldn’t have allowed the threesome to happen. My mom also thinks that Jake is just a weirdo in general for wanting to date a girl who’s still underage, and wanting to “do it” with her underage friend as well.

I have been really conflicted these past couple of months because I just don’t know whether I was sexually assaulted or not. She really wanted me to press charges on Jake and call CPS on Alice, but I chose not to because I still really care about Alice. Maybe I should have.

Obviously I told my boyfriend that I had cheated on him, and he was very upset at first. Once he heard the full story, he was more upset with Alice than he was with me. I had just introduced her to my boyfriend a couple of months before this happened, so they were just starting to become good friends as well. He also said that he was really upset that Alice let all of it happen if she wasn’t blacked out. My boyfriend doesn’t know what to think either, but he says I was most likely assaulted. He has been so kind and supportive throughout this mess, and I really don’t feel like I deserve him.

I cut Alice off once again after all of this happened, but I still check on her Instagram from time to time. Ever since everything went down, she has been shading me, posting stuff like “Proud not to be a homewrecker”, “I know you got a boyfriend, but you’re a whore” (song lyrics, I know- but still shady) and much more. I just don’t know what to think. What do you guys think? AITA for being a homewrecker and a cheater, or was I sexually assaulted?
 
no one is reading that gay shit
 
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