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ElySioNs
Mercenary
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- Feb 7, 2021
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Married 15 years and almost didn't make it this far. In our second year of marriage my wife went home when I was deployed and slept with Some Dickhead (who I'll refer to as SD from here out) who she was loose acquaintances with growing up. She hadn't seen him in years but he just happened to show up during my daughter's birthday party because he was the son of one of my mother-in-law's old friends. SD and my wife hooked up later that week after reconnecting.
The reason I didn't kick my wife's ass to the curb and eventually forgave her is because she told me herself soon after I got home. And she didn't try to justify it with the "oh well you were gone, i felt lonely blah blah blah". No she actually said straight up that she was a fucking dumbass (her words not mine, though I agree) and she felt so sick and disgusting for doing it.
She immediately cut off all contact with SD and it took a lot of counseling and healing but here we are today; feels like non-stop since that time that my wife has gone above and beyond proving that I was right to keep her.
Well my mother-in-law called yesterday and she heard from SD's mother that SD died in some workplace accident and they're having a funeral service this weekend.
My wife told me this and that she wanted to go and it was like I got kicked right in the dick. I instantly felt nauseous and had fucking horrible flashbacks of when she told me about her affair. All those horrible feelings resurfaced along with the shitty memories of me crying my fucking eyes out and my image of her shattering. The pain felt as fresh as when she dropped that bomb on me.
I asked her why seeing as she hadn't talked to the guy in over a decade not to mention...you know....she fucked him while we were married. She keeps saying shit like "it's the right thing to do" and "she just wants to pay respects".
I can't stop repeating that I'm so hurt with that decision as he's had no part of her life in so long and I'm re-living all those shitty nights I was sure our family would be shattered and I would only see my daughter 50% of the time.
After some back and forth I put my fucking foot down and told her NO, she cannot go. I said it's so disrespectful to me and our marriage and we've been on the silent treatment since then. AITA?
EDIT: Seems like people are starting to trip up on me saying "feels like non-stop since that time that my wife has gone above and beyond proving that I was right to keep her." as if I'm saying I own her and she's a piece of property to me. That is not the case, I am simply illustrating that she didn't just say she'll do better, she proved it with her actions and has made me a very happy man in our time together.
EDIT 2: I apologize for nothing and honestly it brings a happy tear to my eye to to see so many people referring to him as SD, because that's what he was. Fuck 'im.
A lot of people are saying it's her decision to make and it is but that doesn't mean I have to like it or support it, and yes right at this point I can see myself walking away if she insists on going. We're going to counseling starting tomorrow
The reason I didn't kick my wife's ass to the curb and eventually forgave her is because she told me herself soon after I got home. And she didn't try to justify it with the "oh well you were gone, i felt lonely blah blah blah". No she actually said straight up that she was a fucking dumbass (her words not mine, though I agree) and she felt so sick and disgusting for doing it.
She immediately cut off all contact with SD and it took a lot of counseling and healing but here we are today; feels like non-stop since that time that my wife has gone above and beyond proving that I was right to keep her.
Well my mother-in-law called yesterday and she heard from SD's mother that SD died in some workplace accident and they're having a funeral service this weekend.
My wife told me this and that she wanted to go and it was like I got kicked right in the dick. I instantly felt nauseous and had fucking horrible flashbacks of when she told me about her affair. All those horrible feelings resurfaced along with the shitty memories of me crying my fucking eyes out and my image of her shattering. The pain felt as fresh as when she dropped that bomb on me.
I asked her why seeing as she hadn't talked to the guy in over a decade not to mention...you know....she fucked him while we were married. She keeps saying shit like "it's the right thing to do" and "she just wants to pay respects".
I can't stop repeating that I'm so hurt with that decision as he's had no part of her life in so long and I'm re-living all those shitty nights I was sure our family would be shattered and I would only see my daughter 50% of the time.
After some back and forth I put my fucking foot down and told her NO, she cannot go. I said it's so disrespectful to me and our marriage and we've been on the silent treatment since then. AITA?
EDIT: Seems like people are starting to trip up on me saying "feels like non-stop since that time that my wife has gone above and beyond proving that I was right to keep her." as if I'm saying I own her and she's a piece of property to me. That is not the case, I am simply illustrating that she didn't just say she'll do better, she proved it with her actions and has made me a very happy man in our time together.
EDIT 2: I apologize for nothing and honestly it brings a happy tear to my eye to to see so many people referring to him as SD, because that's what he was. Fuck 'im.
A lot of people are saying it's her decision to make and it is but that doesn't mean I have to like it or support it, and yes right at this point I can see myself walking away if she insists on going. We're going to counseling starting tomorrow