optimisticzoomer
Salutations my children
- Joined
- May 24, 2020
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HI all,
So I talked to my ex today. She was busy yesterday and I wanted some more time to gather my thoughts. When we met, I put forth my demands. She told me that the parenting app idea seems fine and that she has no problem with it. She got sad when I told her to drop the idea of adoption and calling her partner "mom" as it's just not gonna happen.
She told me that her family was pressuring her to settle down (I proposed after a year of dating and I did not know this) and getting pregnant so soon after getting married was not what she had in mind (She got pregant 1.5 years after getting married, is that soon, idk?). She told me that she was in the closet all her life because of her parents and that she thought marrying me would cause her feelings to subside and that she was happy until she met her partner. She did go through Post-Partum Depression after giving birth but I did not know that she didnt want to get pregnant so soon.
She then told me that they (her wife and her) that the reason they wanted to adopt my son was because she wanted to start new. She then said that she was never really happy during our marriage and that with her new wife she could have the family she always dreamt of having. She didnt want my son to grow up to resent her for being a lesbian as he doesnt have the either any exposure to people like her apart from her and her partner.
(Look I have to honest here, I dont know any gay people nor anyone in my friends or family is gay. We never talked about these things because it simply doesnt come up in our daily life but that doesnt mean me and my son has no idea who they are, especially after the divorce).
I told her that this is not going to happen and that he has had a lot of exposure to people from her community. I told her that seems like a bullshit reason for separating my son and me and that she is making up some random reason to make her seem like it is.
After some arguing she told me the real reason why she and her partner want to adopt my son. (Reddit is crazy for your their prediction abilities like honestly, wow). Apparently they wanted to adopt my son because her wife and her are considering moving to spain in few years. I told her that she can't do that and that the legal framework supports me and my rights in both countries. She told me she knew this and thats why they wanted to get me to sign adoption. I told her that she was crazy that she in no way is able to do this as she still need my permission to take him out of the country as when she did when they got married in Spain. I also read a comment yesterday on the update and researched a bit on the laws regarding this so I know this is not happening. She told me again that they have done their research that this was to see if I would agree, incase I agreed they would consider moving and incase I dont they wont because she doesnt want to be separated from my son. I again emphasised that this is not going to happen and that if she tries anything or says anything to my son, I will sue for full custody.
She got sad again and told me that they wanted to check with me first, I told her in what world would you expect me give you and your wife full custody, first you divorce me, leave for me a woman and then expect me to sign over my child and act like nothing happened. I told her from this point on we will document everything, every interaction we have and that if I even get a whiff of you trying to pull something I will sue for full custody. She got a bit scared at the idea of losing full custody, Ig she didnt really consider me doing that and she agreed.
I then told her not to paint this picture of a "picture perfect queer family" that they are trying to do because that is not going to happen. Our son has a mom and a dad that he spends half his time each with, not two moms. He is not your affair partner's son. He is your son and mine. If you want a child with her you can do so on your own. I then told her that the courts are more likely to side with me than you in this case because of the thing you have been trying to do and the fact that I work from home and spend more actual time with him than you and your wife. I have been trying for him to have a stable relationship with both parents since the divorce because I dont want him to resent either of us, but if you try to remove me from his life, I will sue for full custody and deal with any resentment he has for either for us.
I didnt wanna argue anymore and I left the room. I secretly recorded the conversation because I wanted to have proof in case anything happens in the future. Honestly reddit, I have been very angry at my ex since the divorce, I have not shown it around her and my son because I dont want her to use this against me in any way and have been going to therapy but I am still internally angry. The comments she made today about our marriage really hurt me even more. I have spent 7 years with this woman and her betryal still makes me angry to this day.
When I got home, I contacted my lawyer-friend and he again reiterated that they would have to kidnap him. I asked him if there was anything else we could do and he said that the current agreement is very thorough, we have made sure of that. If I want full custody or not is up to me but I have to be sure that I want to put me or my son through the whole process.
I dont want my son to grow up without either of his parents as that is just not healthy for him. That is why I wont sue for full custody now. If they are stupid enough to kidnap him, I'm sure they are not. Then the law sides with me anyway. I know what position her partner is at their workplace so I know they are making good money to leave it all behind for no good reason. As for the passport thing, I have all his documents and all things such as notifying travel, hospital visits, and others are already in the signed custody agreement. We already have a legal framework for all this. I am not going to sue for full custody now becuase I dont want that for my son. My ex-wife is still good mother and loves him and he enjoys spending time with her, plus my son is the type of person to openly voice out what he doesnt find okay to me, so I will know if they continue any of their nonsense.
On a more positive note, Y'all im not against spanish lessons but he doesnt like them. I was just suggesting that he try some language he like, there are other languages out there. I didnt say it to my ex then but now I know that she was trying for him to learn spanish because of the spain thing.
So I talked to my ex today. She was busy yesterday and I wanted some more time to gather my thoughts. When we met, I put forth my demands. She told me that the parenting app idea seems fine and that she has no problem with it. She got sad when I told her to drop the idea of adoption and calling her partner "mom" as it's just not gonna happen.
She told me that her family was pressuring her to settle down (I proposed after a year of dating and I did not know this) and getting pregnant so soon after getting married was not what she had in mind (She got pregant 1.5 years after getting married, is that soon, idk?). She told me that she was in the closet all her life because of her parents and that she thought marrying me would cause her feelings to subside and that she was happy until she met her partner. She did go through Post-Partum Depression after giving birth but I did not know that she didnt want to get pregnant so soon.
She then told me that they (her wife and her) that the reason they wanted to adopt my son was because she wanted to start new. She then said that she was never really happy during our marriage and that with her new wife she could have the family she always dreamt of having. She didnt want my son to grow up to resent her for being a lesbian as he doesnt have the either any exposure to people like her apart from her and her partner.
(Look I have to honest here, I dont know any gay people nor anyone in my friends or family is gay. We never talked about these things because it simply doesnt come up in our daily life but that doesnt mean me and my son has no idea who they are, especially after the divorce).
I told her that this is not going to happen and that he has had a lot of exposure to people from her community. I told her that seems like a bullshit reason for separating my son and me and that she is making up some random reason to make her seem like it is.
After some arguing she told me the real reason why she and her partner want to adopt my son. (Reddit is crazy for your their prediction abilities like honestly, wow). Apparently they wanted to adopt my son because her wife and her are considering moving to spain in few years. I told her that she can't do that and that the legal framework supports me and my rights in both countries. She told me she knew this and thats why they wanted to get me to sign adoption. I told her that she was crazy that she in no way is able to do this as she still need my permission to take him out of the country as when she did when they got married in Spain. I also read a comment yesterday on the update and researched a bit on the laws regarding this so I know this is not happening. She told me again that they have done their research that this was to see if I would agree, incase I agreed they would consider moving and incase I dont they wont because she doesnt want to be separated from my son. I again emphasised that this is not going to happen and that if she tries anything or says anything to my son, I will sue for full custody.
She got sad again and told me that they wanted to check with me first, I told her in what world would you expect me give you and your wife full custody, first you divorce me, leave for me a woman and then expect me to sign over my child and act like nothing happened. I told her from this point on we will document everything, every interaction we have and that if I even get a whiff of you trying to pull something I will sue for full custody. She got a bit scared at the idea of losing full custody, Ig she didnt really consider me doing that and she agreed.
I then told her not to paint this picture of a "picture perfect queer family" that they are trying to do because that is not going to happen. Our son has a mom and a dad that he spends half his time each with, not two moms. He is not your affair partner's son. He is your son and mine. If you want a child with her you can do so on your own. I then told her that the courts are more likely to side with me than you in this case because of the thing you have been trying to do and the fact that I work from home and spend more actual time with him than you and your wife. I have been trying for him to have a stable relationship with both parents since the divorce because I dont want him to resent either of us, but if you try to remove me from his life, I will sue for full custody and deal with any resentment he has for either for us.
I didnt wanna argue anymore and I left the room. I secretly recorded the conversation because I wanted to have proof in case anything happens in the future. Honestly reddit, I have been very angry at my ex since the divorce, I have not shown it around her and my son because I dont want her to use this against me in any way and have been going to therapy but I am still internally angry. The comments she made today about our marriage really hurt me even more. I have spent 7 years with this woman and her betryal still makes me angry to this day.
When I got home, I contacted my lawyer-friend and he again reiterated that they would have to kidnap him. I asked him if there was anything else we could do and he said that the current agreement is very thorough, we have made sure of that. If I want full custody or not is up to me but I have to be sure that I want to put me or my son through the whole process.
I dont want my son to grow up without either of his parents as that is just not healthy for him. That is why I wont sue for full custody now. If they are stupid enough to kidnap him, I'm sure they are not. Then the law sides with me anyway. I know what position her partner is at their workplace so I know they are making good money to leave it all behind for no good reason. As for the passport thing, I have all his documents and all things such as notifying travel, hospital visits, and others are already in the signed custody agreement. We already have a legal framework for all this. I am not going to sue for full custody now becuase I dont want that for my son. My ex-wife is still good mother and loves him and he enjoys spending time with her, plus my son is the type of person to openly voice out what he doesnt find okay to me, so I will know if they continue any of their nonsense.
On a more positive note, Y'all im not against spanish lessons but he doesnt like them. I was just suggesting that he try some language he like, there are other languages out there. I didnt say it to my ex then but now I know that she was trying for him to learn spanish because of the spain thing.
