ihearvoices
Faustian spirit prevails
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2024
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After reading @vratisevojvodo thread and having discussion with @notsocommonthumb, I realized I shouldn't be KHV at 20.
In fact i was so close to losing it at 14/15. There was this girl giving me real iois. Eg. writing me how sweet I am, wanting to hug me, somehow trying to sneak into my bed, taking pictures of me. Even her close friend wrote me letter she, is really into me.
The problem is I was, yet I still am into her friend.
I was friend with her, but eventually she wanted to level the game up. Her attention was just too much for me to handle, and i didn't know how to end things proplerly. So I resorted to ignoring her, hasn't worked so I stared making fun of her. Till this day I regret being that cruel, I saw she was hurt. But why couldn't she leave me alone, I couldn't care less about foids at that age. We all 3 were classmates btw.
Then COVID happened, she must have ridden cock carousel, etc. t has solved itself eventually.
I felt empty, bcs her friend moved to other city. I didn't have any social media to make move, but most importantly courage to reveal my true feelings for her.
It has happened very recently that we had a date. I really doubt the iois are real. She know well i am into her.
What makes shit worse its long distance, we chat. She is happy I am happy. No nudes or this stuff as @vratisevojvodo implies
To nuke it completely, it is probable that in couple of years i might come into good fortune (on local scale), making me solid betabuxxer. I wanted to keep it as secret, but it has unfortunately leaked. And I am certain she knows it.
The problem is I know what real ioi is, more than enough knowledge to relalize she is not into me. I can see thru it, she keeps me around for other reasons than attraction. While it is something, I would rather go MGTOW completely, or at this point slay hookers instead.
I have been preserving my virginity for something that will never be here for me. And if so it wont be genuine. And she probably isn't even one. And chaces of meeting good looking woman virgin who genuinely loves me at 20 yo is approaching 0.
If only had I the the balls to reply to her letter: "I would prefee to fw u instead" but i genuinely wasn't caring abt foids, mybe late developmnet or smth.
In fact i was so close to losing it at 14/15. There was this girl giving me real iois. Eg. writing me how sweet I am, wanting to hug me, somehow trying to sneak into my bed, taking pictures of me. Even her close friend wrote me letter she, is really into me.
The problem is I was, yet I still am into her friend.
I was friend with her, but eventually she wanted to level the game up. Her attention was just too much for me to handle, and i didn't know how to end things proplerly. So I resorted to ignoring her, hasn't worked so I stared making fun of her. Till this day I regret being that cruel, I saw she was hurt. But why couldn't she leave me alone, I couldn't care less about foids at that age. We all 3 were classmates btw.
Then COVID happened, she must have ridden cock carousel, etc. t has solved itself eventually.
I felt empty, bcs her friend moved to other city. I didn't have any social media to make move, but most importantly courage to reveal my true feelings for her.
It has happened very recently that we had a date. I really doubt the iois are real. She know well i am into her.
What makes shit worse its long distance, we chat. She is happy I am happy. No nudes or this stuff as @vratisevojvodo implies
To nuke it completely, it is probable that in couple of years i might come into good fortune (on local scale), making me solid betabuxxer. I wanted to keep it as secret, but it has unfortunately leaked. And I am certain she knows it.
The problem is I know what real ioi is, more than enough knowledge to relalize she is not into me. I can see thru it, she keeps me around for other reasons than attraction. While it is something, I would rather go MGTOW completely, or at this point slay hookers instead.
I have been preserving my virginity for something that will never be here for me. And if so it wont be genuine. And she probably isn't even one. And chaces of meeting good looking woman virgin who genuinely loves me at 20 yo is approaching 0.
If only had I the the balls to reply to her letter: "I would prefee to fw u instead" but i genuinely wasn't caring abt foids, mybe late developmnet or smth.
