An incel story I wrote for English class in 9th grade

[thecel]

I'm Wayne Tyroneson, a high school freshman straight outta Compton. My family moved to the South Side of Chicago last year, and I gotta admit that it's not a lot better than Compton. Being raised in the "hood" for my whole life, I enjoy skipping school on the regular to hang out on the pavement with my bros. However, today is not like most days, because right now I'm in the hospital. Why, you ask? Well, it all started with this girl.

This girl is really fine, like stunning. You think you've seen hot girls before, but believe me—y'ain't see no one as beautiful as her. On the first day of school, she walked into my Biology class late, and I just thought WOW. When I looked at her, it was like everyone else disappeared. And that was my lucky day, 'cause there was only one unoccupied desk in the room, right beside me! After she sat down, she asked me a question. "Do you have a pencil I can borrow?" I couldn't believe it. A cute girl had asked me to borrow a pencil. As I handed her my one and only pencil, a barely writable wooden stick chewed up by a dog, my hand barely touched hers. Right then and there, I was feeling a connection. It was truly magical! Yeah, I know—I'm pretty lame for a Wayne.

The first day of school was the first and last time we interacted. I was too scared to make my move, to talk to her about anything. I was the literal definition of a pussy. But my dad would always tell me to never give up on my dreams. I had one goal: to shoot my shot with my crush, and I was determined to do everything I possibly could to reach it. Every day after school, I binge-watched dozens of self-improvement and relationship advice videos. I tried to get buff by doing 100 push-ups a day. Despite my efforts, I could never find the right time to ask her out.

This morning, I woke up and realized that the date was November 1st. Every teenage guy knew that the next 30 days would be a grueling challenge, if they were willing to participate. Seeing the rough road ahead, I decided that there would be no more procrastination. I'd need to start being serious about getting a girlfriend, now. I would be brave, confident, courageous—an alpha male—and have the guts to approach my crush at lunch.

8:00. 9:00. 10:00. Each passing hour seemed like an eternity. I couldn't pay attention in class, for I was intensely nervous about lunch. 11:55. Time was running out. In 5 minutes, it'd be all or nothing. 12:00. The lunch bell sounded, and the kids in my Tech class all rushed out the door. I prepared for the worst. If she said no, I'd take it like a man. Sigh...Let's just get this over with.

I spotted her lining up to buy Chick-fil-A. Coming from a poor family, I didn't have money to buy Chick-fil-A. But if I act alpha enough, I reassured myself, maybe I'll have a chance with her. I began walking across the cafeteria, passing by the popular kids with the varsity jackets. I've always wanted to be cool like them. I imagined all the amazing things that'd happen if I were to succeed. Friends. Status. Prestige. Respect! I was a man with a plan. Wayne Tyroneson, the kid everyone laughed at, would get a girlfriend. Man, how epic would that be?

I was around 20 feet away when my friend Jack also lined up to buy Chick-fil-A. He and my crush began conversing. Well, she's a social girl, I thought. She talks to everyone. No. They were getting really close to each other. I stopped. I had a really bad feeling about this. This could be worse than what I'd considered to be a catastrophic failure. Way worse than a girl saying "no" to a date request. Then, the unthinkable happened. They kissed. This could not be happening! Turns out, SHE ALREADY HAD A BOYFRIEND! I felt like garbage. I was an idiot. I was such a fool for thinking that I had a chance with her. Jack looked at me and just laughed.
And out of all the guys she could be dating, seriously—Jack? That dude sat at our table at lunch. A lot of people liked him because he's funny. Most importantly though, he taught me many tips and strategies on getting girls. Last week, I told him who my crush was. He said she was easy to pull, and all I'd have to do was say, "Are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only ten I see!" I practiced saying that line at home for hours on end. Eventually, the pickup line rolled off my tongue so smoothly that I thought nothing could go wrong. Except, everything went wrong today. I thought Jack was being supportive and helpful. I thought he believed in me. But that couldn't be further from the truth. I asked my friend for help once, later to discover that he was dating the girl I'd been chasing for months. I, a strong, diligent alpha male, did not accept this! I was gonna fix this.

Fast forward 4 hours. The dismissal bell rang, but I didn't go to the carpool lane like I usually did. Instead, I went to the basketball court where Jack usually plays after school. I stood outside the court, watching him play basketball without any indication of giving a flying slap about what happened today. What a jerk! You know, real men don't talk with their mouths. We talk with our knuckles. I'm a real man, and I know exactly how to handle girlfriend-related problems.

I furiously sprinted onto the court and swung my clenched fist at Jack's pathetic face. BAM! I decked that dude real hard. He fell to the ground. A big, wide smile formed across my face, but it quickly dissipated when the strongest basketball player started coming at me. He shouted something like, "Bro, you gotta watch where you're going!" I don't remember much of what followed. I was lying on the floor, my head hurt, and the last thing I heard was something along the lines of, "Are you okay?"

The next thing I knew, I was in the hospital getting stitches.

 

[Deleted member 2769]

Gonna copy and use this for my own school project

 

[Deleted member 3299]

Good story

 

[Deleted member 4671]

are u from my ball sack, cos ur cum

 

[Deleted member 1476]

cried ngl

 

[Deleted member 6997]

Dn rd but I guess you are the guy with big head and small face so its over kys

 

[Deleted member 5393]

Fuck off back to .co

 

[Deleted member 4671]

Dn rd but I guess you are the guy with big head and small face so its over kys

nigga ur named after a tranny keep crying 4 this slayer

 

[Deleted member 4671]

Fuck off back to .co

keep worshipping frauding instagram roasties and crying 4 this slayer