Anyone else have a lot of friends but no much/any actual friends?

[UnevenNeckshi]

I have a lot of "friends" but no one that texts me regularly and I barely ever get invited to places (like less than 10 times a year), as pathetic as it is to admit I get really jealous when I see "popular" people my age both irl and online, there's this one guy in my school who's a year/grade below me who's mad popular and his bday post came up on my fyp yesterday and it lowkey made me cry out of jealousy to see him getting so much love in the comments and I was just thinking why no one really enjoys my presence despite apparently being my "friends", I asked a couple guys if they wanna come to my bday as it's coming up and only 1 accepted the invite smh IDK what it is about me that causes people to wanna "befriend" me but not actually be friends with me I've been wondering for the last few days why I'm so forgettable. Anyone else relate?

 

[Gengar]

I have always had a best friend, so can’t say I relate. But I did have dozens of friends, but only two that I call my best friend.

 

[ViolenceMaxxx]

Humans usually have 0-3 true friends in their life

 

[Nickmas]

I have a lot of "friends" but no one that texts me regularly and I barely ever get invited to places (like less than 10 times a year), as pathetic as it is to admit I get really jealous when I see "popular" people my age both irl and online, there's this one guy in my school who's a year/grade below me who's mad popular and his bday post came up on my fyp yesterday and it lowkey made me cry out of jealousy to see him getting so much love in the comments and I was just thinking why no one really enjoys my presence despite apparently being my "friends", I asked a couple guys if they wanna come to my bday as it's coming up and only 1 accepted the invite smh IDK what it is about me that causes people to wanna "befriend" me but not actually be friends with me I've been wondering for the last few days why I'm so forgettable. Anyone else relate?

this shit so real but it doesnt matter if you got 1 or 2 real niggas in your life then thats all you need

 

[valentine]

People with a lot of friends aren't genuine and their relationships are very surface level. You need to learn to love yourself and be your own best friend. Noone will understand you like you do

 

[UnevenNeckshi]

People with a lot of friends aren't genuine and their relationships are very surface level. You need to learn to love yourself and be your own best friend. Noone will understand you like you do

ik that deep down but my brain still craves that, ig it's cause I'm an extrovert yet I got bullied a couple years ago and that was straight after the loneliness of lockdown so maybe that causes me to seek validation more and it's partially also because I often feel stressed so I need something to entertain me so the stress isn't taking over my mind 24/7

 

[valentine]

ik that deep down but my brain still craves that, ig it's cause I'm an extrovert yet I got bullied a couple years ago and that was straight after the loneliness of lockdown so maybe that causes me to seek validation more and it's partially also because I often feel stressed so I need something to entertain me so the stress isn't taking over my mind 24/7

I find this very relatable except I didn't get bullied. I'm just unable to create meaningful connections with people despite my extroverted nature

 

[UnevenNeckshi]

I find this very relatable except I didn't get bullied. I'm just unable to create meaningful connections with people despite my extroverted nature

yh the thing is I do have a lot of common hobbies w people and a sense of humor yet I just can't for the life of me feel connected idk what it is, I genuinely have no clue what it is I feel like I always end up being either annoying or too quiet which makes me come off as boring idk how some guys can make friends so well

 

[valentine]

either annoying or too quiet

Autism trait. Same. When a subject I'm passionate about comes up I won't stfu

 

[UnevenNeckshi]

Autism trait. Same. When a subject I'm passionate about comes up I won't stfu

I had a therapist suggest I might be autistic and funnily enough I had an encounter with a guy from school and one of his friends who didn't know of me before when I was doing an errand outside and based off how I reacted to the guy from my school doing something to me his friend suspected I might be autistic so based off that I really wish I could've gotten assessed, I just dk how I'd ask my parents out the blue without them assuming I'm being brainwashed by the internet or something.

 

[valentine]

I had a therapist suggest I might be autistic and funnily enough I had an encounter with a guy from school and one of his friends who didn't know of me before when I was doing an errand outside and based off how I reacted to the guy from my school doing something to me his friend suspected I might be autistic so based off that I really wish I could've gotten assessed, I just dk how I'd ask my parents out the blue without them assuming I'm being brainwashed by the internet or something.

even if you turn out to be autistic you can work on it and its not really a disability. a lot more people are autistic than ppl think. like recently a girl in my class whos super normie revealed she got diagnosed with autism and you would never be able to tell

 

[UnevenNeckshi]

even if you turn out to be autistic you can work on it and its not really a disability. a lot more people are autistic than ppl think. like recently a girl in my class whos super normie revealed she got diagnosed with autism and you would never be able to tell

I already have worked on my social skills the past couple months but regardless it'd be comforting to know there's an actual identifiable reason behind my chronic problem of having many friends yet being lonely

 

[valentine]

it'd be comforting to know there's an actual identifiable reason behind my chronic problem

yes i think it would be beneficial to know. either way a lot of nt people also share this experience, theyre just good at fakings things and making it seem like theyre doing better than they really are

 

[UnevenNeckshi]

yes i think it would be beneficial to know. either way a lot of nt people also share this experience, theyre just good at fakings things and making it seem like theyre doing better than they really are

fairs, that reminds me that the same guy i mentioned the bday post of reposted something about having many friends and going out every day yet still feeling lonely. Also one of the "friends" I invited but got declined by seems to be really insecure because the dude constantly says stuff about how great it is to be "cool" and have many friends also whenever he's making fun of someone or talking bad about them the first thing he'll mention is how the person doesn't have much friends or isn't "cool".

 

[IBlameSub5Genetics]

2-3 real good friends and about 25-30 npcs wich I just hang arround with bc of school I relate

 

[Entschuldigung]

I do, I know many people I can talk with them and everything but I'm not close to any of them

 

[ey88]

Yep

 

[NoLongerHuman]

It's honestly why I believe getting a partner it's so important, friends will come and go, it's a normal part of life, even your best friends may leave, and it's not your fault. Priorities just change, and people are less inclined to make new connections and only befriend others for their own benefit. Being in a committed relationship is what should help in coping with this, but alas, what even is dating in this generation