Anyone else's self-hate growing like crazy?

Deleted member 39

Deleted member 39

The Inferior
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I just looked through my gallery. I only have a few pics of myself that I took after first reading about inceldom by discovering the incels.is forum. It was back in May 2018 when I was 17 years old. I started taking pictures of myself in selfie mode, from far away, took body pics etc. I analyzed all my flaws and tried to ignore my horrid acne of course because I obviously knew about that being a death sentence before that.
I was always insecure about my looks, I didn't really get blackpilled, but my already existing blackpill mindset got way more radical and finally, many months later, a critical self-hate arose.
When I see my face in these pictures, I get the urge to beat myself to death for being such an ugly, disgusting and horrible being.
My face is so asymmetric. My maxilla is recessed on only one side, which literally caused my eyes, cheekbones, nose and jaw to melt on one side while the other is normal looking. Nothing is more repelling to the human eye than asymmetry.
I hate myself the most for being a skinny, little and short pussy though. I have so much self-hate and the result of this hate is a hatred against the world, against human beings. I'm determined to looksmax, but it's hard to have patience when you have to fight against giving up every day.
When I look at myself, I can't imagine a girl ever being attracted to me. I'm disgusting.
I got asked out by girls in my school years and I always rejected them because I thought they were trying to make fun of me and humiliate me by giving me false hopes. I don't know what they saw in me. I really don't.
 
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dn read but 5'11 is fine
 
  • JFL
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mentalcel.me
 
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get ll asap
1582918145942
 
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Yea i hate myself too. No girl will ever love me
 
Some days it gets better some days worse.Im working on it , you should too
 
dn read but 5'11 is fine
Not for someone with an inferiority complex. And definitely not for someone who lacks both looks and a personality.
 
I got asked out by girls in my school years and I always rejected them because I thought they were trying to make fun of me and humiliate me by giving me false hopes. I don't know what they saw in me. I really don't.

Man same shit. But learning about PSL is what made me realize I actually did have some good features (amongst a few bad ones). Don't overthink it dude, if you're attractive to foids, just go for it.

You also should have a Lifefuel folder like me. When I browse Insta and I see a hot girl with some ugly guy, I immediately screenshot it and put it into that folder, as a reminder not to be a defeatist.
 
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I hate my pectus excavatum.
 
Man same shit. But learning about PSL is what made me realize I actually did have some good features (amongst a few bad ones). Don't overthink it dude, if you're attractive to foids, just go for it.

You also should have a Lifefuel folder like me. When I browse Insta and I see a hot girl with some ugly guy, I immediately screenshot it and put it into that folder, as a reminder not to be a defeatist.
Good idea for bad times tbh
 
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Good idea for bad times tbh

Yes, it's too easy to get lost in our PSL autism and assume that you'll get foids only if you look like a model. Of course, the better looking the more chances you have, and that's why we're looksmaxxing, but if you're above average you'll still get a few IOIs here and there, and those aren't to dismis, especially if the girl is cute.
 
Man same shit. But learning about PSL is what made me realize I actually did have some good features (amongst a few bad ones). Don't overthink it dude, if you're attractive to foids, just go for it.

You also should have a Lifefuel folder like me. When I browse Insta and I see a hot girl with some ugly guy, I immediately screenshot it and put it into that folder, as a reminder not to be a defeatist.
I can't cope like that anymore. If some ugly guy has a girlfriend, he definitely has something that I don't have, for example a big dick or height.

I might wake up being grateful for being alive, living in a nice area, being healthy and being able to move around freely. But then I take one step outside and get disgusted looks by people, get ignored by cashiers, get disrespected by tall guys, or simply take a look at the fucking mirror and see 5 new pimples and I'm angry again.
 
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I can't cope like that anymore. If some ugly guy has a girlfriend, he definitely has something that I don't have, for example a big dick or height.

I might wake up being grateful for being alive, living in a nice area, being healthy and being able to move around freely. But then I take one step outside and get disgusted looks by people, get ignored by cashiers, get disrespected by tall guys, or simply take a look at the fucking mirror and see 5 new pimples and I'm angry again.

Our preconceptions and ideas about the world and ourself influence greatly how we perceive events, and therefore how we feel. At one point, during my depressive years, I developped paranoia and persecutory delusions. I saw aggression everywhere, and was convinced that I was being followed, taken pictures of, that my dentist shit talked me everytime I left her office, that girls only "fake liked" me to abuse me later, plent of crazy stuff like that. I genuinely believed those. And none of it was true. And paranoia was just one of the things I had. I also was convinced of being inferior (in all aspects) and uncapable of doing anything.

Once I got past that dark period, I don't feel the same AT all. I'm going to the same class, meeting the same people, and having similar interactions that I've used to have before, but everything feels so different now. I was nuts, and my vision was clouded by negative thinking.

The disrespect you get from tall guys might be in your head, man. Do they literally punch you and tell you how much of a manlet you're? You might be assuming stuff that's not even true. Most of cashiers hate their fucking job and get depressed by their shift, why would they give a shit about anyone, really? You're mentally filtering all the good stuff and magnificying the negative.

You're a mentalcel, brother, and so I'm, but I did progress and you can too. I'm really a whole new person. I don't know what helped me, I did a lot of things, read about Stoicism, read Carl Jung, worked out, intermittent fasting, journaled, stopped cooming, improved everywhere I could... No idea if it's one of those things that triggered this complete change in my personality, or maybe it's all of them combined, but you gotta change.

You'll one day be 30 and think back about how you wasted your youth whining instead of using your free time to your own benefit.
 
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Our preconceptions and ideas about the world and ourself influence greatly how we perceive events, and therefore how we feel. At one point, during my depressive years, I developped paranoia and persecutory delusions. I saw aggression everywhere, and was convinced that I was being followed, taken pictures of, that my dentist shit talked me everytime I left her office, that girls only "fake liked" me to abuse me later, plent of crazy stuff like that. I genuinely believed those. And none of it was true. And paranoia was just one of the things I had. I also was convinced of being inferior (in all aspects) and uncapable of doing anything.

Once I got past that dark period, I don't feel the same AT all. I'm going to the same class, meeting the same people, and having similar interactions that I've used to have before, but everything feels so different now. I was nuts, and my vision was clouded by negative thinking.

The disrespect you get from tall guys might be in your head, man. Do they literally punch you and tell you how much of a manlet you're? You might be assuming stuff that's not even true. Most of cashiers hate their fucking job and get depressed by their shift, why would they give a shit about anyone, really? You're mentally filtering all the good stuff and magnificying the negative.

You're a mentalcel, brother, and so I'm, but I did progress and you can too. I'm really a whole new person. I don't know what helped me, I did a lot of things, read about Stoicism, read Carl Jung, worked out, intermittent fasting, journaled, stopped cooming, improved everywhere I could... No idea if it's one of those things that triggered this complete change in my personality, or maybe it's all of them combined, but you gotta change.

You'll one day be 30 and think back about how you wasted your youth whining instead of using your free time to your own benefit.
How does this Help OP or others? Reading books wont make him attractive nor will it make him fuck a girl before 25
 
Not for someone with an inferiority complex. And definitely not for someone who lacks both looks and a personality.
Lol you could get LL to 6'5" and as soon as you get heightmogged once your mental will be rock bottom again and you'll need LL to 6'9"
 
Sad shit, man.
 
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Yes, it's too easy to get lost in our PSL autism and assume that you'll get foids only if you look like a model. Of course, the better looking the more chances you have, and that's why we're looksmaxxing, but if you're above average you'll still get a few IOIs here and there, and those aren't to dismis, especially if the girl is cute.
Yea I've seen it on insta too.
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 4645
I just looked through my gallery. I only have a few pics of myself that I took after first reading about inceldom by discovering the incels.is forum. It was back in May 2018 when I was 17 years old. I started taking pictures of myself in selfie mode, from far away, took body pics etc. I analyzed all my flaws and tried to ignore my horrid acne of course because I obviously knew about that being a death sentence before that.
I was always insecure about my looks, I didn't really get blackpilled, but my already existing blackpill mindset got way more radical and finally, many months later, a critical self-hate arose.
When I see my face in these pictures, I get the urge to beat myself to death for being such an ugly, disgusting and horrible being.
My face is so asymmetric. My maxilla is recessed on only one side, which literally caused my eyes, cheekbones, nose and jaw to melt on one side while the other is normal looking. Nothing is more repelling to the human eye than asymmetry.
I hate myself the most for being a skinny, little and short pussy though. I have so much self-hate and the result of this hate is a hatred against the world, against human beings. I'm determined to looksmax, but it's hard to have patience when you have to fight against giving up every day.
When I look at myself, I can't imagine a girl ever being attracted to me. I'm disgusting.
I got asked out by girls in my school years and I always rejected them because I thought they were trying to make fun of me and humiliate me by giving me false hopes. I don't know what they saw in me. I really don't.
yes I have a long mid-face and I'm literally contemplating suicide no joke it's I can't live anymore bro so I understand
 
Our preconceptions and ideas about the world and ourself influence greatly how we perceive events, and therefore how we feel. At one point, during my depressive years, I developped paranoia and persecutory delusions. I saw aggression everywhere, and was convinced that I was being followed, taken pictures of, that my dentist shit talked me everytime I left her office, that girls only "fake liked" me to abuse me later, plent of crazy stuff like that. I genuinely believed those. And none of it was true. And paranoia was just one of the things I had. I also was convinced of being inferior (in all aspects) and uncapable of doing anything.

Once I got past that dark period, I don't feel the same AT all. I'm going to the same class, meeting the same people, and having similar interactions that I've used to have before, but everything feels so different now. I was nuts, and my vision was clouded by negative thinking.

The disrespect you get from tall guys might be in your head, man. Do they literally punch you and tell you how much of a manlet you're? You might be assuming stuff that's not even true. Most of cashiers hate their fucking job and get depressed by their shift, why would they give a shit about anyone, really? You're mentally filtering all the good stuff and magnificying the negative.

You're a mentalcel, brother, and so I'm, but I did progress and you can too. I'm really a whole new person. I don't know what helped me, I did a lot of things, read about Stoicism, read Carl Jung, worked out, intermittent fasting, journaled, stopped cooming, improved everywhere I could... No idea if it's one of those things that triggered this complete change in my personality, or maybe it's all of them combined, but you gotta change.

You'll one day be 30 and think back about how you wasted your youth whining instead of using your free time to your own benefit.
How long did it take for you to make the mental transformation?
 
How does this Help OP or others? Reading books wont make him attractive nor will it make him fuck a girl before 25

Did you actually read what I've said? I'm talking about him being a mentalcel, this has nothing to do with looksmaxxing. He literally has girls asking him out and rejected them because he thinks they have bad intentions.

Also where did I mention to read books? Most self help books are a scam and I'd not recommend that. I talked about learning about Carl Jung and Stoicism, which can be done by reading blogs, articles, listening to podcasts, etc.
 
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I'll tell you what. In my late teens / early 20's all my anger was directed inwards at myself. I used to punch holes in doors, smash things and all the rest of it whilst cursing my looks. Now, it's directed outwards and that feels better. The world is full of cunts. Better to direct your rage towards / at them rather than yourself, which will cause major depression.
 
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How long did it take for you to make the mental transformation?

Around 19, but for some reason things got worse AFTER I got into "self improvement", probably because for a while, I focused on trying to fix issues that weren't even real, and purely imaginary (mental barriers), instead of going after what I really wanted.

It's only around 21 that I decided to stop running away from my issues and did what I needed to in order to live a better life. Since then, it's been pretty much up and downs but big progress has been made.
 
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Our preconceptions and ideas about the world and ourself influence greatly how we perceive events, and therefore how we feel. At one point, during my depressive years, I developped paranoia and persecutory delusions. I saw aggression everywhere, and was convinced that I was being followed, taken pictures of, that my dentist shit talked me everytime I left her office, that girls only "fake liked" me to abuse me later, plent of crazy stuff like that. I genuinely believed those. And none of it was true. And paranoia was just one of the things I had. I also was convinced of being inferior (in all aspects) and uncapable of doing anything.

Once I got past that dark period, I don't feel the same AT all. I'm going to the same class, meeting the same people, and having similar interactions that I've used to have before, but everything feels so different now. I was nuts, and my vision was clouded by negative thinking.

The disrespect you get from tall guys might be in your head, man. Do they literally punch you and tell you how much of a manlet you're? You might be assuming stuff that's not even true. Most of cashiers hate their fucking job and get depressed by their shift, why would they give a shit about anyone, really? You're mentally filtering all the good stuff and magnificying the negative.

You're a mentalcel, brother, and so I'm, but I did progress and you can too. I'm really a whole new person. I don't know what helped me, I did a lot of things, read about Stoicism, read Carl Jung, worked out, intermittent fasting, journaled, stopped cooming, improved everywhere I could... No idea if it's one of those things that triggered this complete change in my personality, or maybe it's all of them combined, but you gotta change.

You'll one day be 30 and think back about how you wasted your youth whining instead of using your free time to your own benefit.
First of all, thanks for taking your time to make an elobarotaive post.
Our perception shapes our reality, that's true. It's the reason why the bluepill isn't bad for a lot of people.
In my teens, guys tried to pick fights with me and I always submitted because I was a scared cunt. This lead to me feeling insecure since submitting is worse than fighting.
Worst thing is they all did so for no reason, they literally just realized they were physically superior and I was that quiet skinny kid.
Nowadays all I see in tall guys' faces is arrogance and the look of superiority.
To combat my huge inferiority complex I started going to the gym and will soon join a fighting club.
The feeling basically stems from feeling helpless in physical confrontations.

I know my time is precious. I'm 19 now and have wasted my whole youth rotting. I knew about looksmaxing but couldn't really do anything because of the lack of money obviously. I'm fixing horrible acne for 2 years now, have earned some money now and will get some looksmaxing procedures soon.
Lol you could get LL to 6'5" and as soon as you get heightmogged once your mental will be rock bottom again and you'll need LL to 6'9"
That's bullshit. My height is below average. If I was 6'5 people would maybe mog me by 2 inches and it would be rare. 2 inches and 8 inches is a huge difference. Also no woman would heightmog me, probably the most humiliating mog there is.
 
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First of all, thanks for taking your time to make an elobarotaive post.
Our perception shapes our reality, that's true. It's the reason why the bluepill isn't bad for a lot of people.
In my teens, guys tried to pick fights with me and I always submitted because I was a scared cunt. This lead to me feeling insecure since submitting is worse than fighting.
Worst thing is they all did so for no reason, they literally just realized they were physically superior and I was that quiet skinny kid.
Nowadays all I see in tall guys' faces is arrogance and the look of superiority.
To combat my huge inferiority complex I started going to the gym and will soon join a fighting club.
The feeling basically stems from feeling helpless in physical confrontations.

I know my time is precious. I'm 19 now and have wasted my whole youth rotting. I knew about looksmaxing but couldn't really do anything because of the lack of money obviously. I'm fixing horrible acne for 2 years now, have earned some money now and will get some looksmaxing procedures soon.

That's bullshit. My height is below average. If I was 6'5 people would maybe mog me by 2 inches and it would be rare. 2 inches and 8 inches is a huge difference. Also no woman would heightmog me, probably the most humiliating mog there is.
Cope

No height for your neurotransmitters
 
First of all, thanks for taking your time to make an elobarotaive post.
Our perception shapes our reality, that's true. It's the reason why the bluepill isn't bad for a lot of people.
In my teens, guys tried to pick fights with me and I always submitted because I was a scared cunt. This lead to me feeling insecure since submitting is worse than fighting.
Worst thing is they all did so for no reason, they literally just realized they were physically superior and I was that quiet skinny kid.
Nowadays all I see in tall guys' faces is arrogance and the look of superiority.
To combat my huge inferiority complex I started going to the gym and will soon join a fighting club.
The feeling basically stems from feeling helpless in physical confrontations.

I know my time is precious. I'm 19 now and have wasted my whole youth rotting. I knew about looksmaxing but couldn't really do anything because of the lack of money obviously. I'm fixing horrible acne for 2 years now, have earned some money now and will get some looksmaxing procedures soon.

You welcome dude, also, good to hear you're actually taking appropriate action. Just don't do like I did and don't wait for "the right time", that's my biggest regret. Anyway, gl to you, keep us updated.
 
I just looked through my gallery. I only have a few pics of myself that I took after first reading about inceldom by discovering the incels.is forum. It was back in May 2018 when I was 17 years old. I started taking pictures of myself in selfie mode, from far away, took body pics etc. I analyzed all my flaws and tried to ignore my horrid acne of course because I obviously knew about that being a death sentence before that.
I was always insecure about my looks, I didn't really get blackpilled, but my already existing blackpill mindset got way more radical and finally, many months later, a critical self-hate arose.
When I see my face in these pictures, I get the urge to beat myself to death for being such an ugly, disgusting and horrible being.
My face is so asymmetric. My maxilla is recessed on only one side, which literally caused my eyes, cheekbones, nose and jaw to melt on one side while the other is normal looking. Nothing is more repelling to the human eye than asymmetry.
I hate myself the most for being a skinny, little and short pussy though. I have so much self-hate and the result of this hate is a hatred against the world, against human beings. I'm determined to looksmax, but it's hard to have patience when you have to fight against giving up every day.
When I look at myself, I can't imagine a girl ever being attracted to me. I'm disgusting.
I got asked out by girls in my school years and I always rejected them because I thought they were trying to make fun of me and humiliate me by giving me false hopes. I don't know what they saw in me. I really don't.
Yea bro I can relate, can't go outside now without covering myself with a hoodie, I think I'm gonna burkamaxx. I just expose my eyes so that I can analyze other's facial structures. The blackpill is destroying me.
 

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