Are there any good drugs I can do while being on serlatine? I need to cope + low inhib maxx.

[Sean o' Tist]

1st of all, just look ate the reddit link above. Pure suifuel. I have missed out on teen love completly, I have no idea how to navigate relationships, Im diagnosed asperger, recently got diagnosed with depression. I dont even feel anxious in social setting really, I just am clueles on what to do. I have never been to proper party, or anything, basically I have done none of the NT teen shit. Its over. Its time to be adult now. I mean sure, Im 19, Im still technically a teen, but adult teen. Its not like being 13-16 yo teen, like you can be completly carefree, just live in the moment, etc,... btw I have never in my life been able to live in the moment. I always overthink everything. Its just over. over. over.
I want to go on, party, do drugs, etc, etc, untill Im like 27, and then rope. Geniouenly. I geniouenly dont care about living past 27-30. I dont. There are no memories to fuel my life later on. Just nothing. I dont want to celebrate 30th birthday, and I will make sure I dont. I can promise this.