ASCENSION PLAN FOR FUNKY FLAMINGO (GTFIH YOU PEAR HEAD)

WanderingBurro

WanderingBurro

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I have to give credit where it's due. Sir Flamingo has gone where most .org users wouldn't even dare, delving into not only softmaxxing territory but also hardmaxxing territory. But he still comes off as completely self unaware with his looks very much matching this.

Here's a morph I made of him, made with the intention of making him both look more NT and like his age.

Flamingomog


Here's the original image, as you see only a few minor tweaks were made. It would require 0 hardmaxxing or changes to facial structure. (which you can't really do withotu hardmaxxing anyways)

Flamingomog unedited

STEP 1: FIX YOUR HAIR

Nigga your hair looks like a rat's nest. There's noway you're going to mog with that. You're not a 15 year old prettyboy, get a cut that looks less goofy. Your hair texture is naturally kinky so my two suggestions are is to just shave it off and sport a buzzcut (trust me it feels fresh and considering your decent amount of bonemass you probably won't look too bad with it). Then buy a male wig, there are a couple decent ones out there because there's an unlimited amount of balding men who need to fraud hair.

76078599a4dbcbd4dde229552a5af84d


You can also try relaxing your hair through 1.) techniques straight from the Indian shaman himself. (most likely cope)


Or 2.) get a brazilian blowout + a little bit of styling through curling though this will require monthly maintenance as your old hair texture will continue to grow back:

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STEP 2: GET SOME COLOURING IN THAT SKIN

You look like a dying banana peel. Your skin may be lightened but you have 0 colouring in it which is an ethnic trait, whenever you see deathnics trying to lighten their skin they'll often have ghoulish complexions because they don't have any of the natural rosy colouring real pale skin has. Unfortunately there is no way to change your undertones, neither naturally nor with chemicals. (I've heard lycopene promotes rosy colouring but I've never seen a before and after of this)

Your only option for this is to fraud with blush. You can achieve a natural look through using a darker blush and applying it in a splotchy way around your face. If it's too pink and if you apply too much of it in a focused symmetric area it's going to look obvious and fake like the image below.

Undertone fail


Natural blush occurs very patchy all around the face, and is also a bit more reddish in appearance rather than pink. (note both young Rogan and the kid in the back)

Young rogan


There's a TikTok trend on how to recreate this more natural blush look, it's called "boyfriend blush" and I attached a video to this thread of a guy demonstrating how to achieve a natural looking blush effect for guys with 0 colouring.

STEP 3: SHAVE OFF THAT BEARD

Habibi, my yahki you look like a terrorist and you're still young enough to where you don't need to cover your facial features underneath a beard. One of your stronger halos is that you have unusually clear and smooth skin, don't hide it bhai. Trim it down a little and maybe keep a little bit of stubble on the sides. You'll look far less threatening.

ALRIGHT GET IN HERE YOU ABUSED DOG, I DIDN'T WRITE THIS GUIDE UP FOR NOTHING, MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU SPAM A DOZEN DIFFERENT SELFIES YOU'LL FINALLY ASCEND.

@RealFunkyFlamingo
 

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his buttplug tier cranium is comical
 
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his buttplug tier cranium is comical
All the more reason why he needs to fraud his upper third with a fluffy set of hair. A good hair fraud can hide both balding and an underdeveloped cranium.
 
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He won’t read it, he is too busy taking autistic pictures to then put online.

I rarely see him in any other threads than his own “rate my after shitting” threads.
 
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He won’t read it, he is too busy taking autistic pictures to then put online.

I rarely see him in any other threads than his own “rate my after shitting” threads.
For how terminally online he is on this site he surprisingly doesn't lend an ear very often. They say insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Funky is quite frankly just that.
 
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He won’t read it, he is too busy taking autistic pictures to then put online.

I rarely see him in any other threads than his own “rate my after shitting” threads.
true. this guy wanderingburro is high IQ and should not waste his time on dumbass users like him. He makes the same shitty rating threads over and over he looks like shit and gay and is so annoying
 
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He won’t read it, he is too busy taking autistic pictures to then put online.

I rarely see him in any other threads than his own “rate my after shitting” threads.
Nah I got him
@funkyflamingo
Answer saar
 
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For how terminally online he is on this site he surprisingly doesn't lend an ear very often. They say insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Funky is quite frankly just that.
Yeah just a fucking retard in other words.
 
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god who cares about this random pear admire this stacy
1000017787
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1000016117
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1000016458
1000016764
mommy😍
 
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I'd personally sacrifice all of India if it meant obtaining this colouring. Maybe with the use of some Chinese witchcraft I can get close.

Chinese skin whitening


true. this guy wanderingburro is high IQ and should not waste his time on dumbass users like him. He makes the same shitty rating threads over and over he looks like shit and gay and is so annoying
Appreciate the compliment bhai. 🙌
 
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