Attracting women: Latino human adaptation toward Edgarmaxxing

Seth Walsh

Seth Walsh

The man in the mirror is my only threat
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1/ Nature is wild, y’all. Scientists have discovered a fascinating new example of “evolutionary adaptation” in urban ecosystems: the 5’6” Gen Z Latinx dude spontaneously developing the “Edgar” haircut to optimize his chances of survival (read: getting a prom date). Let’s break it down.

2/ The Peacock Principle: Just as peacocks evolved absurdly vibrant feathers to attract mates, the Edgar cut (sharp tapers, aggressive lineup, that fringe) emerged as a signal to potential partners. Translation: “I might not reach the top shelf, but I will reach your DMs.” #SurvivalOfTheFittest

3/ Historical Context: Early research shows the Edgar diverged from its ancestral form—the “2016 Dad Fade”—when Gen Z males realized women their age responded better to TikTok swagger than “I mow lawns on weekends” energy. Evolution is efficient.

4/ Key Features:

  • The Micro-Fringe: Camouflages forehead acne; directs attention to “smoldering” eye contact.
  • Tapered Back & Sides: Creates illusion of height (critical for species averaging 5’6”).
  • Lineup So Sharp It Could File Taxes: Confuses predators (see: jealous exes).
5/ Environmental Pressures: The Edgar thrives in habitats where Instagram polls decide social status and every carne asada is a mating ritual. Note: Its natural predator? Tías who say, “Mijo, you look like a Chia Pet.”

6/ Symbiosis Alert: The haircut cannot survive without its partner species—the 19-year-old barber—who communicates exclusively in TikTok tutorials and charges extra for “the sazón” (aka enough gel to stop a hurricane).

7/ Reproductive Success Rate: Preliminary data shows Edgars boasting a 73% higher chance of securing a “u up?” text by 11pm vs. non-Edgars. However, side effects include eternal beef with guys named Derek and becoming your abuela’s sleep paralysis demon.

8/ Future Evolution: Scientists predict the Edgar will split into subspecies by 2025:

  • The Curly Top (for romantics)
  • The Bleached Frosted Tip (for risk-takers)
  • The “I Let My Dog Trim It” (for future telenovela villains).
9/ Conclusion: Darwin would’ve wept with pride. The Edgar isn’t just a haircut—it’s a masterclass in adaptation, proving that in the game of love, Latinx Gen Z said, “If we can’t grow taller, we’ll cut sharper.” #EdgarCutSurvival
 
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Interessant

Do you have gpt+?
 
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Looks like the Edgar that used to go to my school
 

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1/ Nature is wild, y’all. Scientists have discovered a fascinating new example of “evolutionary adaptation” in urban ecosystems: the 5’6” Gen Z Latinx dude spontaneously developing the “Edgar” haircut to optimize his chances of survival (read: getting a prom date). Let’s break it down.

2/ The Peacock Principle: Just as peacocks evolved absurdly vibrant feathers to attract mates, the Edgar cut (sharp tapers, aggressive lineup, that fringe) emerged as a signal to potential partners. Translation: “I might not reach the top shelf, but I will reach your DMs.” #SurvivalOfTheFittest

3/ Historical Context: Early research shows the Edgar diverged from its ancestral form—the “2016 Dad Fade”—when Gen Z males realized women their age responded better to TikTok swagger than “I mow lawns on weekends” energy. Evolution is efficient.

4/ Key Features:

  • The Micro-Fringe: Camouflages forehead acne; directs attention to “smoldering” eye contact.
  • Tapered Back & Sides: Creates illusion of height (critical for species averaging 5’6”).
  • Lineup So Sharp It Could File Taxes: Confuses predators (see: jealous exes).
5/ Environmental Pressures: The Edgar thrives in habitats where Instagram polls decide social status and every carne asada is a mating ritual. Note: Its natural predator? Tías who say, “Mijo, you look like a Chia Pet.”

6/ Symbiosis Alert: The haircut cannot survive without its partner species—the 19-year-old barber—who communicates exclusively in TikTok tutorials and charges extra for “the sazón” (aka enough gel to stop a hurricane).

7/ Reproductive Success Rate: Preliminary data shows Edgars boasting a 73% higher chance of securing a “u up?” text by 11pm vs. non-Edgars. However, side effects include eternal beef with guys named Derek and becoming your abuela’s sleep paralysis demon.

8/ Future Evolution: Scientists predict the Edgar will split into subspecies by 2025:

  • The Curly Top (for romantics)
  • The Bleached Frosted Tip (for risk-takers)
  • The “I Let My Dog Trim It” (for future telenovela villains).
9/ Conclusion: Darwin would’ve wept with pride. The Edgar isn’t just a haircut—it’s a masterclass in adaptation, proving that in the game of love, Latinx Gen Z said, “If we can’t grow taller, we’ll cut sharper.” #EdgarCutSurvival
Jfl described the mutt i asked to get rated perfectly.

1741725171812


Random white HTN with middlepart has all their SMV combined x 100
 
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@FiendFiend KidLaroi maxxed NIGGER.

If that guy enters a room it's pretty much over for everyone else.
I made a forum post about kid larois ascension rofl. If ur just blonde, and ur hair maxxed and wear old money, and low bf %. You mog your whole fucking room.

 
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u up?
 
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Edgars bang the most foids in school
 

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