Autism + deep insecurities ruin my chances of anything in life.

0hMan

0hMan

germano-gaelic gaunche - modcel
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Title.
I'm in Italy for vacation and earlier today, after exiting a museum I was visiting with my family, I felt a tap on the shoulder. I turned around and there were two giggly foids, and the one who tapped me greets me and asked me if I spoke Italian (I don't, and told her such), she then asked me if I spoke English (to which you can guess what my response was). Anyways, after that she told me that she thought I had very nice hair and paused for a second and said that I dressed very good as well. I paused — and smiled all the while — thinking she may ask for my Instagram or something, but then she said something else (I don't recall what, maybe it was the bit about how I dressed) and I thanked her and walked away.
I could've — or rather should've — asked her something else, but I didn't. I figured she probably didn't see my face (as she had tapped me from behind), and most likely did not like what she saw. Either way, I didn't and instead walked away. When I returned, my father had told me they had been following me for quite some time and were quite excited to speak to me (I'm still not sure as to whether or not they saw my face). He also offered to give me some money so I could go back and speak to them but I didn't. I was still mulling over the situation in my head, and had decided they were probably not interested in me.
No matter what I do, I can never get over my extreme hatred I have for my foul face and my aspieness does not help it one fucking bit. I don't know where this will take me once I enter college. It'll be 20x more brutal.
How about you guys? Does this happen to you?
Believe it or not, this is not even the first time this sort of schtick has happened to me this month (I could make a pt. 2 if you guys are interested). I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do. If I see them again, I'll say something. Or not.
 
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@HarrierDuBois @pneumocystosis @emeraldglass @NumbThePain @Offensive Bias @Hardrada @Kamui @gribsufer1 @wsada @Orc @Gengar @Autismcel
 
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It takes time to undo all the negative reinforcement with the positive reinforcement
 
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You are entangled, you could have written in five lines what happened. Don't weigh yourself down and don't overthink. What is done is done.
 
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It takes time to undo all the negative reinforcement with the positive reinforcement
Meh. I only ever truly internally accept a compliment unless it's backhanded (ie: I was once accused of using my looks to make up for the fact I have a shitty personality), that way I know it's genuine.
 
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I’m incel so idk
 
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I write a lot for pretty much anything. I flesh stuff out.
And you think it's casual?
How you write somewhat reflects your character, and not only that.
 
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too fucking real. any female attention and i get paranoid and think they are plotting something
 
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And you think it's casual?
How you write somewhat reflects your character, and not only that.
Well, I try to keep things professional on here. When texting normies I type a lot more relaxed and don't care about punctuation and the like.
 
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Meh. I only ever truly internally accept a compliment unless it's backhanded (ie: I was once accused of using my looks to make up for the fact I have a shitty personality), that way I know it's genuine.
That's what I said, why do you think you're downplaying/doubting positive feedback?
 
idk how im supposed to get rid of my deep paranoia. idk how im gonna ever trust women
 
Are you diagnosed aspie ? I’m in Spain rn will be going to Italy soon
 
Well, I try to keep things professional on here. When texting normies I type a lot more relaxed and don't care about punctuation and the like.
I wasn't referring to that.

It has happened to me too.
In my case it was mostly a choice oriented towards futurity, but sometimes I've had behaviour similar to yours.
 
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yeah I’d say this was relatable 2 years ago for me. I’m pretty comfortable talking and flirting with women ATP.

You need gradual exposure and to throw yourself in social environments. Your time is running out, and plus I doubt you’re really that ugly
 
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