Aware & still stuck

[accelerationist]

I am hyper aware of my situation, yes. Its completely over, i understand everything already. But i just cant get it over and done with, i have been abused and taught to value life no matter how much of a loss i might be at. And now i cant do the simplest part of existing, just getting it, over with.

I cope, knowing that im coping. Posting nichefagged edits on tiktok, knowing that i am coping. I understand that all i do is to make up for these genes of mine. Im unable to give up on the game, i still want to mog. I dont want to accept that ive lost.

What am i to do? There is nothing out there for me, im just suffering with no end. The solution is in my face and i cannot go through it

Soon ill bald, soon ill age, and it only will get worse

 

[Canthus]

TLDR

 

[NinjaRG9]

((