Being born with abusive parents/family is death-tier.

[MoggerGaston]

Like what the fuck can you even do in life when the people who you trust the most, whose love you desire the most, who you interact with the most, are mentally ill subhumans who abuse you?!

i am fucked.

 

[Krisis]

I completely agree with your assessment. It's one of the most profoundly upsetting facts of life that those with whom you share a blood relation can be some of the most powerful sources of pain in your life.

I am sure you're doing this already, but it's best to reduce contact with them as much as possible, and, whenever possible, ignore them.

I am sorry you're going through this. But don't let this constrain you; try your best to live a good life. I wish you well.

 

[PsychoH]

Like what the fuck can you even do in life when the people who you trust the most, whose love you desire the most, who you interact with the most, are mentally ill subhumans who abuse you?!

i am fucked.

Same but we’ll get through verlies de hoop niet g.

 

[Alucard69]

Without good friends/family your life is nothing, even if you were slaying from dating apps

 

[MoggerGaston]

I completely agree with your assessment. It's one of the most profoundly upsetting facts of life that those with whom you share a blood relation can be some of the most powerful sources of pain in your life.

I am sure you're doing this already, but it's best to reduce contact with them as much as possible, and, whenever possible, ignore them.

I am sorry you're going through this. But don't let this constrain you; try your best to live a good life. I wish you well.

I have gone no-contact on them, 4 years ago. Only once I did that, did I start realizing how bad it was having to interact with them. Before that I always used to think that my family was 'relatively normal'.
Once I went no-contact I started realizing that all the interactions (with my family) which I used to think of as 'normal' were actually completely dysfunctional, abusive, and terrible for me.

With male friends I have never really been close, never heard close emotional stories/struggles, relationships with their own family, etc. It was always sorta shallow, the interactions I had with male friends.

Then once I started dating (first kiss at 23yo) and got to know a couple of girls in a really intense personal emotional basis. Hearing about their interactions with family, even meeting their family, it became extremely obvious how abusive and delusional my own family is.
Hearing about my stacylite ex having divorced parents, I felt like perhaps we could vibe on the fact that we both felt abused and neglected due to such parental relationship struggles.
Yet what I heard from her is that she barely even noticed. Her parents, unlike mine, never fought/argued when she was around and kept thinks between them. They never forced her to pick a side, they never blamed her, they never told her that they wished she was never born. These were all things that I was told and what happened to me.

My parents are subhuman toxic narc piece of shit who hated their lives, their relationship and then BLAMED ME for their own failures, making me feel unloved, subhuman, worthless and causing all the pain and self-esteem issues I face today.

I never feel good enough, never feel worthy of love, pleasure. I feel constant stress of having to be better, never being able to relax,

 

[MoggerGaston]

Same but we’ll get through verlies de hoop niet g.

ik weet niet wat ik moet doen man.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Without good friends/family your life is nothing, even if you were slaying from dating apps

its not strange that I use drugs/alcohol to cope in such situation.

idk what to do tbh.

 

[Alucard69]

its not strange that I use drugs/alcohol to cope in such situation.

idk what to do tbh.

Adulthood is extremly brutal i can imagine, it's you vs the world, wish i were a child/teenager my whole life.

 

[PsychoH]

ik weet niet wat ik moet doen man.

Ik ook niet echt volledig. Wel dat ik zodra als ik 18 wordt als de sodemieter weg ben lol.
Ik zou zeggen stop met drugs man je voelt je er goed door maar zodra je zonder bent voel je je erger dan wanneer je het niet zou hebben gedaan.
Ik zou oprecht naar een afkick centrum gaan.
Het zou je heel goed doen Gaston.
Misschien even wat kut maar het is het zeker waard voor je langetermijn.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Ik ook niet echt volledig. Wel dat ik zodra als ik 18 wordt als de sodemieter weg ben lol.
Ik zou zeggen stop met drugs man je voelt je er goed door maar zodra je zonder bent voel je je erger dan wanneer je het niet zou hebben gedaan.
Ik zou oprecht naar een afkick centrum gaan.
Het zou je heel goed doen Gaston.
Misschien even wat kut maar het is het zeker waard voor je langetermijn.

naja kheb niet echt alternatieven om plezier uit het leven te halen zegmaar. Wanneer ik stop met alcohol/drugs en probeer meer uit het leven te halen, kom ik er altijd achter dat ik er geen voldoening uit haal en val ik weer terug.

 

[BimaxLaser]

naja kheb niet echt alternatieven om plezier uit het leven te halen zegmaar. Wanneer ik stop met alcohol/drugs en probeer meer uit het leven te halen, kom ik er altijd achter dat ik er geen voldoening uit haal en val ik weer terug.

Ga een klooster in

 

[PsychoH]

naja kheb niet echt alternatieven om plezier uit het leven te halen zegmaar. Wanneer ik stop met alcohol/drugs en probeer meer uit het leven te halen, kom ik er altijd achter dat ik er geen voldoening uit haal en val ik weer terug.

Vind een passie maatje ik heb bv als cope een van de beste games ooit die je geweldig zal vinden denk ik. Mgsv TPP. Moet je maar eens keertje naar kijken. Karate doe ik ook en training en dat doet het hem eerlijk gezegd. Wat denk je zelf dat je mist in het leven? Ontspanning of adrenaline?

 

[sb23]

Like what the fuck can you even do in life when the people who you trust the most, whose love you desire the most, who you interact with the most, are mentally ill subhumans who abuse you?!

i am fucked.

Why the fuck are you always complaining? Aren't you like a chad?

 

[MoggerGaston]

Vind een passie maatje ik heb bv als cope een van de beste games ooit die je geweldig zal vinden denk ik. Mgsv TPP. Moet je maar eens keertje naar kijken. Karate doe ik ook en training en dat doet het hem eerlijk gezegd. Wat denk je zelf dat je mist in het leven? Ontspanning of adrenaline?

Ik mis sociale connectie + eigenwaarde. Ik voel me compleet buitengesloten, alsof ik er niet bij hoor, niet goed genoeg ben.

Daardoor heb ik alle interesse/motivatie in het leven verloren. Ik hoor er niet bij, ik ben niet goed genoeg, dus waarom uberhaupt nog ergens moeite voor doen.

 

[Daddy's Home]

You know it's Friday night at around 11:30 pm in the Netherlands when Gaston comes up with threads like this..

If the therapists/pshilogists have failed to find a solution for this, it means that the only purpose for which you can still live and have the motivation to continue are the physical pleasures that come from the brain's reaction when it releases various chemicals when you consume certain products/substances/experiences..

And also the fear that in case of a new spawn after death, it will be in a worse circumstance than being a tall good looking white guy from a good country in europe, so at least get the most you can out of your current experience, because it's relative anyway, we all get old sooner or later, time and relativity forgive no one..

 

[losthope]

you have said this the 100th time. I'd say you should find a nice girl and marry. If you don't have good parents its better you try to start your family by getting a loving wife so that you don't feel terrible and alone.

For guys like me who can get HTBs like you get your drugs its a different thing. But for people like you settling down and being a caring husband is the only way. Guys like me live life on tutorial mode with girls being the stages that I slay one after the other. Chad type shit innit

 

[MoggerGaston]

Why the fuck are you always complaining? Aren't you like a chad?

maybe read before replying.

 

[MoggerGaston]

You know it's Friday night at around 11:30 pm in the Netherlands when Gaston comes up with threads like this..

If the therapists/pshilogists have failed to find a solution for this, it means that the only purpose for which you can still live and have the motivation to continue are the physical pleasures that come from the brain's reaction when it releases various chemicals when you consume certain products/substances/experiences..

And also the fear that in case of a new spawn after death, it will be in a worse circumstance than being a tall good looking white guy from a good country in europe, so at least get the most you can out of your current experience, because it's relative anyway, we all get old sooner or later, time and relativity forgive no one..

therapists at the ward have been geting more aggresive and confrontational with me. I feel like it's only a matter of time before I quit therapy.

pointless life.

 

[Clown Show]

I have gone no-contact on them, 4 years ago. Only once I did that, did I start realizing how bad it was having to interact with them. Before that I always used to think that my family was 'relatively normal'.
Once I went no-contact I started realizing that all the interactions (with my family) which I used to think of as 'normal' were actually completely dysfunctional, abusive, and terrible for me.

With male friends I have never really been close, never heard close emotional stories/struggles, relationships with their own family, etc. It was always sorta shallow, the interactions I had with male friends.

Then once I started dating (first kiss at 23yo) and got to know a couple of girls in a really intense personal emotional basis. Hearing about their interactions with family, even meeting their family, it became extremely obvious how abusive and delusional my own family is.
Hearing about my stacylite ex having divorced parents, I felt like perhaps we could vibe on the fact that we both felt abused and neglected due to such parental relationship struggles.
Yet what I heard from her is that she barely even noticed. Her parents, unlike mine, never fought/argued when she was around and kept thinks between them. They never forced her to pick a side, they never blamed her, they never told her that they wished she was never born. These were all things that I was told and what happened to me.

My parents are subhuman toxic narc piece of shit who hated their lives, their relationship and then BLAMED ME for their own failures, making me feel unloved, subhuman, worthless and causing all the pain and self-esteem issues I face today.

I never feel good enough, never feel worthy of love, pleasure. I feel constant stress of having to be better, never being able to relax,

No one should have gone through this and it is not your fault.

naja kheb niet echt alternatieven om plezier uit het leven te halen zegmaar. Wanneer ik stop met alcohol/drugs en probeer meer uit het leven te halen, kom ik er altijd achter dat ik er geen voldoening uit haal en val ik weer terug.

I have just read "alcohol/drugs" here.

You know what to do in order to cope.

I was drinking on the weekend, I was drinking yesterday and I was drinking today. Instant 30% increase in positive sensations in the body and significant decrease in mental pain and self hatred. I am so hype about my winter alcoholism arc. I expect even more increase in positive feelings and sensations as I up my alcohol intake.

 

[MoggerGaston]

you have said this the 100th time. I'd say you should find a nice girl and marry. If you don't have good parents its better you try to start your family by getting a loving wife so that you don't feel terrible and alone.

For guys like me who can get HTBs like you get your drugs its a different thing. But for people like you settling down and being a caring husband is the only way. Guys like me live life on tutorial mode with girls being the stages that I slay one after the other. Chad type shit innit

ive never even had a girlfriend in my life at 29yo and you tell me to 'just get married bro'

idk if you are joking or what the fuck you are thinking. U think I have a choice to marry a girl?! like I am actively rejecting girls and deciding to be single and alone?

'just start a family bro, just get a wife bro'

lol. just become a millionaire bro may aswell say that.

 

[Bomber517]

Be careful who you trust, Sergeant. People you know can hurt you the most.

 

[sb23]

maybe read before replying.

Imagine having abusive parents and being ugly. I have all your problems and more and I'm ugly to amplify it all. Stop complaining

 

[lurking truecel]

Get a house and some kids

 

[Krisis]

I have gone no-contact on them, 4 years ago. Only once I did that, did I start realizing how bad it was having to interact with them. Before that I always used to think that my family was 'relatively normal'.

Good for you for making the choice to go no-contact. A lot of people aren't willing to take that step or, worse, are not in positions to realize how abusive those closest to them actually are, as you pointed out. Some of them maybe have even internalized how their family has treated them as being defensible or even ideal. It can become especially difficult if you begin to doubt even your own perception, and start to feel guilty for feeling so negatively about your family. So once again, good on you for going no-contact; you may not realize it, but that required a great deal of courage, wisdom, and self-love.

My parents are subhuman toxic narc piece of shit who hated their lives, their relationship and then BLAMED ME for their own failures, making me feel unloved, subhuman, worthless and causing all the pain and self-esteem issues I face today.

I never feel good enough, never feel worthy of love, pleasure. I feel constant stress of having to be better, never being able to relax,

Once again, I am really sorry to hear that. I hope you get to experience, if you haven't already, a real sense of family. It's a long process of unlearning the things that have been inherited from abusive people, of silencing the echoes of their voices from your head, but you're worth the journey. Keep fighting

 

[MoggerGaston]

No one should have gone through this and it is not your fault.


I have just read "alcohol/drugs" here.

You know what to do in order to cope.

I was drinking on the weekend, I was drinking yesterday and I was drinking today. Instant 30% increase in positive sensations in the body and significant decrease in mental pain and self hatred. I am so hype about my winter alcoholism arc. I expect even more increase in positive feelings and sensations as I up my alcohol intake.

i feel momentary moments of joy, pleasure. I can forget about my mental illnesses when I am drunk or high.
But in the end you also have to sober up and the pain comes back, so you have to escape it again.

The amount of drugs/alcohol I am using is not healthy on the long-term, although it hasn't gotten to the point where it severely damages me on the short-term. But if I do this for another 5-10 years, this lifestyle, my body will likely become weaker, more damaged, and my life-quality will continue to degenerate.

What do I do then? use even more drugs? harder drugs? my current lifestyle is a path towards self-destruction.

only right now do I still have some control over my drug-use and physical health. Yet as I get older and the effects of heavy-drug and alcohol use accumulate, tolerances, my life quality will get worse and worse over time.

it's a bleak future waiting for me if I continue down this path.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Imagine having abusive parents and being ugly. I have all your problems and more and I'm ugly to amplify it all. Stop complaining

theres people in lebanon dying from starvation while being bombed by israel.

your life is great in comparison. stop complaining you ungrateful fuck.

 

[Clown Show]

i feel momentary moments of joy, pleasure. I can forget about my mental illnesses when I am drunk or high.
But in the end you also have to sober up and the pain comes back, so you have to escape it again.

The amount of drugs/alcohol I am using is not healthy on the long-term, although it hasn't gotten to the point where it severely damages me on the short-term. But if I do this for another 5-10 years, this lifestyle, my body will likely become weaker, more damaged, and my life-quality will continue to degenerate.

What do I do then? use even more drugs? harder drugs? my current lifestyle is a path towards self-destruction.

only right now do I still have some control over my drug-use and physical health. Yet as I get older and the effects of heavy-drug and alcohol use accumulate, tolerances, my life quality will get worse and worse over time.

it's a bleak future waiting for me if I continue down this path.

In spite of your IRL experiences, you are not bad looking at all, you are actually good looking, you mog me hard, so if you have some subconscious hope that things will get better, then you will have to take care of your physical health to not end up in a really bad position.

As for myself, I am a truecel subhuman with bottom 5% shit life circumstances and brain chemistry, I have abandoned all hope and will just submit to alcohol abuse until the grim reaper comes to collect or I blow my brains out.

I am kinda at peace.

 

[MoggerGaston]

In spite of your IRL experiences, you are not bad looking at all, you are actually good looking, you mog me hard, so if you have some subconscious hope that things will get better, then you will have to take care of your physical health to not end up in a really bad position.

As for myself, I am a truecel subhuman with bottom 5% shit life circumstances and brain chemistry, I have abandoned all hope and will just submit to alcohol abuse until grim reaper comes to collect or I blow my brains out.

I am kinda at peace.

its sad because I do acknowledge that I have gotten good-looking and it allows me to get admiration, attention from attractive women and people in general.

Yet my mental illnesses make it impossible whatsoever to enjoy any of it so I completely self-isolate and dont enjoy the benefits of my looks-privilege whatsoever.

I rot in my room all day and in essence my life wouldn't be any better with my current looks or looking like a 60yo obese dwarf subhuman.
I would live exactly the same life tbh as I do now.

tragic

 

[GrowthReaper]

emotional (not physical) abuse breeds strong machiavellian men.

both my parents are extremely manipulative and all that did was teach me how to be a good manipulator. It came with many problems but I see my upbringing as favorable compared to the average person's.

 

[sb23]

theres people in lebanon dying from starvation while being bombed by israel.

your life is great in comparison. stop complaining you ungrateful fuck.

Complain in moderation. Every post I see of you is you complaining.

 

[MoggerGaston]

emotional (not physical) abuse breeds strong machiavellian men.

both my parents are extremely manipulative and all that did was teach me how to be a good manipulator. It came with many problems but I see my upbringing as favorable compared to the average person's.

emotional abuse has also made me an over-achieving person. I have always scored in the top 1% of my country in standardized testing. I em extremely intelligent, creative, ambitious, hard-working, athletic, etc. I am good at public-speaking, extroverted, interesting, etc.

yet at the same time the emotional abuse, despite making me objectively an over-achieving person, continues to mentally torment me.

I am never good enough, now matter how well I perform. This makes me over-achieve, always striving to be better because I never feel good enough, I never relax.

But really, what's the goal of life?! In the end the only thing that matters is my enjoyment of my life and I don't get any due to emotional abuse.

emotional abuse breeds men who can never enjoy life and end up killing themselves.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Complain in moderation. Every post I see of you is you complaining.

dont care

 

[GrowthReaper]

I am never good enough, now matter how well I perform. This makes me over-achieve, always striving to be better because I never feel good enough, I never relax.

But really, what's the goal of life?! In the end the only thing that matters is my enjoyment of my life and I don't get any due to emotional abuse.

emotional abuse breeds men who can never enjoy life and end up killing themselves.

We are alike. It's like I am two people at the same time, on one hand I feel 'chosen', special, above everyone else, blessed with a great brain and an even greater body, while on the other, I feel mediocre, worthless, destined to accomplish nothing.

 

[Daddy's Home]

therapists at the ward have been geting more aggresive and confrontational with me. I feel like it's only a matter of time before I quit therapy.

pointless life.

Yeah, I guess they get tired because nothing works and for that they blame your personal attitude and your lack of active desire to be better or some shit like that that their ego transmits in them, like ''I'm trying to make you well, but no matter what I do, you won't be well if you don't want to be well'', and you're like ''well that's the problem in the first place, you dumb fuck..''

But leaving that aside, have you ever considered the idea of joining a church-oriented religion/community and the idea of a more ''traditional life'' (going to church and participating in church activities alongside their community, going to work, having a trad wife or something and your kids waiting for you at home, and repeat) while instead of destructive habits, you focus all your attention on like reading shit and learning / understanding stuff from there, praying to imaginary friends to give you luck and chance in daily activities, etc. (the Bible probably in this case, idk) and on your wife and children and how can you protect them, so that you can forget or shift your attention from all these things?

With your looks and intelligence, you could definitely find a good girl from a good family who would support you 2 and shit, and she would be dedicated to you, and all you have to do is ''not disappoint her'' I guess?

idk, It seems like the last option in your case, honestly. Either you do something like that, or you continue your current life and die of some internal organ disease relatively young or some shit..

 

[MoggerGaston]

Yeah, I guess they get tired because nothing works and for that they blame your personal attitude and your lack of active desire to be better or some shit like that that their ego transmits in them, like ''I'm trying to make you well, but no matter what I do, you won't be well if you don't want to be well'', and you're like ''well that's the problem in the first place, you dumb fuck..''

But leaving that aside, have you ever considered the idea of joining a church-oriented religion/community and the idea of a more ''traditional life'' (going to church and participating in church activities alongside their community, going to work, having a trad wife or something and your kids waiting for you at home, and repeat) while instead of destructive habits, you focus all your attention on like reading shit and learning / understanding stuff from there, praying to imaginary friends to give you luck and chance in daily activities, etc. (the Bible probably in this case, idk) and on your wife and children and how can you protect them, so that you can forget or shift your attention from all these things?

With your looks and intelligence, you could definitely find a good girl from a good family who would support you 2 and shit, and she would be dedicated to you, and all you have to do is ''not disappoint her'' I guess?

idk, It seems like the last option in your case, honestly. Either you do something like that, or you continue your current life and die of some internal organ disease relatively young or some shit..

this idea of church-life doesnt exist where I live. Idk where ur from but in the netherlands NOBODY is religious.

going to a church means the avg age is ~60yo and ull rarely find people below the age of 30 here. once the boomers die, religion is completely dead here in the netherlands.

it doesnt exist, nobody is religious. it's not an option whatsoever so idk what u are even talking about honestly.

 

[Daddy's Home]

this idea of church-life doesnt exist where I live. Idk where ur from but in the netherlands NOBODY is religious.

going to a church means the avg age is ~60yo and ull rarely find people below the age of 30 here. once the boomers die, religion is completely dead here in the netherlands.

it doesnt exist, nobody is religious. it's not an option whatsoever so idk what u are even talking about honestly.

It probably has something to do with the particular city and size of the city you live in, or the bubble you're in, because people who are part of such communities tend to be very conservative and interact strictly with people like themselves, so realistically speaking you would never have access to their bubbles unless you proactively seek them out. Regarding churches, Google gave me those:

(but yes, in any case, the Netherlands is one of the worst places to form the idea of religion etc. given the lifestyle that the average young guy in the Netherlands has, which is in some kind of total contradiction with what happens in churches, so being born/raised there is definitely bad luck from that point of view)

Hillsong Church Amsterdam (Amsterdam): A prominent Pentecostal church with international influence, attracting young professionals and students.

Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) (Den Haag and Amsterdam): RCCG has several parishes across the Netherlands and is part of a global Pentecostal movement that serves African and international communities.

Celebration Church Netherlands (Hilversum, Huizen, Almere): Known for its vibrant services, this church is part of an international Pentecostal network

International Baptist Church of Amsterdam (IBCA): A multicultural church offering English-language services, appealing to expats and locals

Baptist Church Rotterdam: This church serves a diverse congregation in one of the Netherlands' most ethnically mixed cities.

Grote Kerk Baptist Community (Haarlem): A historic congregation blending traditional Baptist practices with community-focused activities.

 

[MoggerGaston]

It probably has something to do with the particular city and size of the city you live in, or the bubble you're in, because people who are part of such communities tend to be very conservative and interact strictly with people like themselves, so realistically speaking you would never have access to their bubbles unless you proactively seek them out. Regarding churches, Google gave me those:

(but yes, in any case, the Netherlands is one of the worst places to form the idea of religion etc. given the lifestyle that the average young guy in the Netherlands has, which is in some kind of total contradiction with what happens in churches, so being born/raised there is definitely bad luck from that point of view)

Hillsong Church Amsterdam (Amsterdam): A prominent Pentecostal church with international influence, attracting young professionals and students.

Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) (Den Haag and Amsterdam): RCCG has several parishes across the Netherlands and is part of a global Pentecostal movement that serves African and international communities.

Celebration Church Netherlands (Hilversum, Huizen, Almere): Known for its vibrant services, this church is part of an international Pentecostal network

International Baptist Church of Amsterdam (IBCA): A multicultural church offering English-language services, appealing to expats and locals

Baptist Church Rotterdam: This church serves a diverse congregation in one of the Netherlands' most ethnically mixed cities.

Grote Kerk Baptist Community (Haarlem): A historic congregation blending traditional Baptist practices with community-focused activities.

I was raised very religiously by my own parents/mother. Have been going to church on a weekly basis until I was ~15yo. That's where my opinion comes from.
It was a place filled with oldcels, I didn't have any people my own age in these communities.

I like the idea of religion and such communities but it simply doesn't exist where I live. I would have to geomax to find it which has its own problems.

 

[Pikabro]

must be giga cortisol

 

[PsychoH]

Ik mis sociale connectie + eigenwaarde. Ik voel me compleet buitengesloten, alsof ik er niet bij hoor, niet goed genoeg ben.

Daardoor heb ik alle interesse/motivatie in het leven verloren. Ik hoor er niet bij, ik ben niet goed genoeg, dus waarom uberhaupt nog ergens moeite voor doen.

Leugens in je hoofd niet geloven g. Je bent de moeite WEL.