D
Deleted member 70102
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In highschool I had a group of friends that I would hang around because we’d all known each-other since the beginning of the 7th grade, I barely had a relationship with them because we didn’t really have any common interests, but I was often outright disrespected and was obviously low on the social hierarchy so it was rare that I enjoyed being around them anyway.
Many of the jokes were petty, but it was obvious people constantly felt the need to put me in my place; you might argue that I was too sensitive, but you could really tell no one enjoyed being around me. There was pretty much always the sense that I was just there for the sake of it, like one day I could randomly disappear and it would take everyone a week to process that I wasn’t actually there anymore.
The whole COVID hoax ensued and due to the fact they were all radically brainwashed, I was basically treated as a full outcast in every way imaginable. I had an inability to stand up for myself and my views, and as a result I obviously started distancing myself from them. The lockdowns were in full force and weirdly enough, there were times where they were fine with me playing Xbox with them or whatever; I still wasn’t treated well, but those were actually some good times somehow.
Anyway I ended up moving schools and cut all communication with them, in fact there are probably schizophrenics out there who vacated their homes to escape into the wild and still maintained more communication with their past friends.
The main point of this.
2 years later I join their Xbox party for some reason, obviously they all started making a big deal out of how they hadn’t spoken to me in soo long, but I immediately put on a bit of a false persona. I started acting like I’d inherently changed somehow, like I “really had my shit together” (but not in a superficial way, like a mental sense) and was confident in who I was (basically just the definition of high self-esteem). At first they were skeptical about whether I was the same person, but I played the act soo well. One of them said how “I’m actually decent now” and another agreed, for the first time ever they seemed interested in what I had to say. I wasn’t a punching bag anymore, I was funny, likeable, etc…
I hadn’t cured aspergers or some shit, and the character I was playing certainly wasn’t asshole either, I simply seemed like I valued myself for once. You may be reading this irritated, thinking something like “but that’s the whole essence of NT-maxxing, building confidence”.
I didn’t need to brag to them about anything, nor one up them in any way, I simply acted like I was confident in my worth as a person.
Many people here get this wrong, they assume that if you’ve experienced social difficulties/exclusion, it’s automatically due to “autism” or “deep trauma” or the fact you don’t go to the gym enough and look like a HTN.
What many of you guys need is a solid sense of self-worth and while yes external factors play a role in this, often the fundamental questions about oneself may be deeper.
Nathaniel Brown’s book “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” for example makes it pretty clear that self-acceptance is at the root of a person’s self-esteem, without it all things fall apart (that isn’t the exact quote but obviously the general idea is the same).
Many of the jokes were petty, but it was obvious people constantly felt the need to put me in my place; you might argue that I was too sensitive, but you could really tell no one enjoyed being around me. There was pretty much always the sense that I was just there for the sake of it, like one day I could randomly disappear and it would take everyone a week to process that I wasn’t actually there anymore.
The whole COVID hoax ensued and due to the fact they were all radically brainwashed, I was basically treated as a full outcast in every way imaginable. I had an inability to stand up for myself and my views, and as a result I obviously started distancing myself from them. The lockdowns were in full force and weirdly enough, there were times where they were fine with me playing Xbox with them or whatever; I still wasn’t treated well, but those were actually some good times somehow.
Anyway I ended up moving schools and cut all communication with them, in fact there are probably schizophrenics out there who vacated their homes to escape into the wild and still maintained more communication with their past friends.
The main point of this.
2 years later I join their Xbox party for some reason, obviously they all started making a big deal out of how they hadn’t spoken to me in soo long, but I immediately put on a bit of a false persona. I started acting like I’d inherently changed somehow, like I “really had my shit together” (but not in a superficial way, like a mental sense) and was confident in who I was (basically just the definition of high self-esteem). At first they were skeptical about whether I was the same person, but I played the act soo well. One of them said how “I’m actually decent now” and another agreed, for the first time ever they seemed interested in what I had to say. I wasn’t a punching bag anymore, I was funny, likeable, etc…
I hadn’t cured aspergers or some shit, and the character I was playing certainly wasn’t asshole either, I simply seemed like I valued myself for once. You may be reading this irritated, thinking something like “but that’s the whole essence of NT-maxxing, building confidence”.
I didn’t need to brag to them about anything, nor one up them in any way, I simply acted like I was confident in my worth as a person.
Many people here get this wrong, they assume that if you’ve experienced social difficulties/exclusion, it’s automatically due to “autism” or “deep trauma” or the fact you don’t go to the gym enough and look like a HTN.
What many of you guys need is a solid sense of self-worth and while yes external factors play a role in this, often the fundamental questions about oneself may be deeper.
Nathaniel Brown’s book “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” for example makes it pretty clear that self-acceptance is at the root of a person’s self-esteem, without it all things fall apart (that isn’t the exact quote but obviously the general idea is the same).
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