Being ugly during early adolescence is the greatest murderer of self confidence.

[Zukiteru]

Title

Was nt enough and had good social skills from birth till about 11 yrs old and I was already pretty ugly at the time but then COVID happened and and upon my return to irl school at 13 my social skills were nuked and I hadn't hit puberty yet so for the next three years I was teased and silently made fun of (even my mom rejected my feelings of sadness and depression because she couldn't understand why I had any reason to want to kill myself and I didn't share anything with her). And I became a mental cel in the process and now I have to spend the rest of my life undoing these effects.


Worst part is I wasn't even an ugly kid. I was super popular before I moved to America at 7 and instantly made friends in school even after I moved. You would think having so much positive reinforcement from the people around me for 11 years would help me get over it easier but it hasn't.


I didn't realize I wasn't ugly anymore till my final year of highschool at 17 and even then it was too late to do anything because mentally I felt as though everybody was already against me. I had friends I made in middle school which I still have now in college and I'm grateful for them but I couldn't and still can't fathom the idea of somebody who doesn’t already know me wanting to get to know me. When girls would stare at me in class I just believed they thought I was weird because I never talked. Hell I still do and yet a couple months after school ended I realized some of them added me on Snapchat during the school year.


Crazy how something so seemingly short and minor can permanently fuck someone up for life.


Maybe in some alternate reality I'm still low inhib and I never got hit with a late puberty and I'm a normie who is still bluepilled and believes in true love (i still kinda do btw) instead of being a blackpilled, self ostracizing, self loathing, self isolating, ‘loser’ who is so desperately trying to push everyone away while still wanting to be known and understood by everyone.


I probably have AVPD but I don't think I'll ever try and get diagnosed so it doesn't matter much.


With all this being said I've been working on it, I don't hate myself anywhere near as much as I did two years ago and I don't sit and complain or cope either. I just accept the harsh reality and try to make something out of myself.


TLDR; I became a mental cel due to experiencing the blackpill first hand.

 

[Zukiteru]

Bump

 

[Zukiteru]

Bumpp

 

[TalesFromTheSlums]

 

[JeanneDArcAlter]

Bumpp
View attachment 3451165

What country are you from?

 

[Zukiteru]

What country are you from?

Born in the United States but lived in Scotland till 7 and then moved back to the states

 

[Foreverbrad]

I had the same experience kinda. OK looking kid, ugly teen, OK looking early 20s once used steroids, now ugly again (not due to actually looking worse, but due to a rapidly rising male attractiveness standard).

Just go straight to surgery even if you’re not ugly perhaps just doing some drastic things will be enough to convince your subconscious.

 

[Zukiteru]

I had the same experience kinda. OK looking kid, ugly teen, OK looking early 20s once used steroids, now ugly again (not due to actually looking worse, but due to a rapidly rising male attractiveness standard).

Just go straight to surgery even if you’re not ugly perhaps just doing some drastic things will be enough to convince your subconscious.

Will likely get surgery later on but regarding drastic changes I see what you mean. I think the best thing I can do for my subconscious is probably distancing myself from things I associate with the events that transpired. I already planned to do it by changing the way I dress quite drastically but I never really thought about why I planned to do it.

Thanks for the input

 

[Foreverbrad]

Will likely get surgery later on but regarding drastic changes I see what you mean. I think the best thing I can do for my subconscious is probably distancing myself from things I associate with the events that transpired. I already planned to do it by changing the way I dress quite drastically but I never really thought about why I planned to do it.

Thanks for the input

For me the steroids were meant to be the drastic change and they did do it for a while.

The problem is the agepill and looksflation will always come to collect so you will just keep repeating this cycle of ( improve - dissociate - descend ) through your life until one day you are actually just an ugly old man with no way to improve again.

My surgeries next year, at 32y, will most likely be my last chance so I don’t really see much time left for me now. A short and mostly unhappy life.

 

[aladdinmaxxer]

Title

Was nt enough and had good social skills from birth till about 11 yrs old and I was already pretty ugly at the time but then COVID happened and and upon my return to irl school at 13 my social skills were nuked and I hadn't hit puberty yet so for the next three years I was teased and silently made fun of (even my mom rejected my feelings of sadness and depression because she couldn't understand why I had any reason to want to kill myself and I didn't share anything with her). And I became a mental cel in the process and now I have to spend the rest of my life undoing these effects.


Worst part is I wasn't even an ugly kid. I was super popular before I moved to America at 7 and instantly made friends in school even after I moved. You would think having so much positive reinforcement from the people around me for 11 years would help me get over it easier but it hasn't.


I didn't realize I wasn't ugly anymore till my final year of highschool at 17 and even then it was too late to do anything because mentally I felt as though everybody was already against me. I had friends I made in middle school which I still have now in college and I'm grateful for them but I couldn't and still can't fathom the idea of somebody who doesn’t already know me wanting to get to know me. When girls would stare at me in class I just believed they thought I was weird because I never talked. Hell I still do and yet a couple months after school ended I realized some of them added me on Snapchat during the school year.


Crazy how something so seemingly short and minor can permanently fuck someone up for life.


Maybe in some alternate reality I'm still low inhib and I never got hit with a late puberty and I'm a normie who is still bluepilled and believes in true love (i still kinda do btw) instead of being a blackpilled, self ostracizing, self loathing, self isolating, ‘loser’ who is so desperately trying to push everyone away while still wanting to be known and understood by everyone.


I probably have AVPD but I don't think I'll ever try and get diagnosed so it doesn't matter much.


With all this being said I've been working on it, I don't hate myself anywhere near as much as I did two years ago and I don't sit and complain or cope either. I just accept the harsh reality and try to make something out of myself.


TLDR; I became a mental cel due to experiencing the blackpill first hand.

bump

 

[TheDragon]

My dad forced to have a buzzcut throughout my youth bc he thought it was manly and that having longer hair is gay. Most of my school photos, I looked like a fucking cancer victim. Needless to say I got bullied a lot.

 

[Zukiteru]

My dad forced to have a buzzcut throughout my youth bc he thought it was manly and that having longer hair is gay. Most of my school photos, I looked like a fucking cancer victim. Needless to say I got bullied a lot.

My mom did the same thing to me but her reasoning was that it made me look more 'presentable' and she believed having hair longer than 2-3 inches (I'm first generation Black) wasn't proper. She would say my hair was too 'bushy' when it got that long, cutting it within a few days of telling me that (jfl at this whitewashed logic). Biggest problem was that at the time I had the classic African xenomorph-esc skull.

 

[Joaquin]

I had the same experience kinda. OK looking kid, ugly teen, OK looking early 20s once used steroids, now ugly again (not due to actually looking worse, but due to a rapidly rising male attractiveness standard).

Just go straight to surgery even if you’re not ugly perhaps just doing some drastic things will be enough to convince your subconscious.

Hey man im 16 yo nearly 17. Not ugly but not really atractive due to my large philtrum. Its my biggest insecurity, do you think a lip lift Will boost my self confidence and obviously would make me look better?

 

[fuxkdakikez]

almost all abused dogs have AVPD, there’s nothing you can do to fix it imo.

 

[albanianblackguy]

Title

Was nt enough and had good social skills from birth till about 11 yrs old and I was already pretty ugly at the time but then COVID happened and and upon my return to irl school at 13 my social skills were nuked and I hadn't hit puberty yet so for the next three years I was teased and silently made fun of (even my mom rejected my feelings of sadness and depression because she couldn't understand why I had any reason to want to kill myself and I didn't share anything with her). And I became a mental cel in the process and now I have to spend the rest of my life undoing these effects.


Worst part is I wasn't even an ugly kid. I was super popular before I moved to America at 7 and instantly made friends in school even after I moved. You would think having so much positive reinforcement from the people around me for 11 years would help me get over it easier but it hasn't.


I didn't realize I wasn't ugly anymore till my final year of highschool at 17 and even then it was too late to do anything because mentally I felt as though everybody was already against me. I had friends I made in middle school which I still have now in college and I'm grateful for them but I couldn't and still can't fathom the idea of somebody who doesn’t already know me wanting to get to know me. When girls would stare at me in class I just believed they thought I was weird because I never talked. Hell I still do and yet a couple months after school ended I realized some of them added me on Snapchat during the school year.


Crazy how something so seemingly short and minor can permanently fuck someone up for life.


Maybe in some alternate reality I'm still low inhib and I never got hit with a late puberty and I'm a normie who is still bluepilled and believes in true love (i still kinda do btw) instead of being a blackpilled, self ostracizing, self loathing, self isolating, ‘loser’ who is so desperately trying to push everyone away while still wanting to be known and understood by everyone.


I probably have AVPD but I don't think I'll ever try and get diagnosed so it doesn't matter much.


With all this being said I've been working on it, I don't hate myself anywhere near as much as I did two years ago and I don't sit and complain or cope either. I just accept the harsh reality and try to make something out of myself.


TLDR; I became a mental cel due to experiencing the blackpill first hand.

i was not ugly but mega short and i literally experienced sub5 treatment while being gl facially, i am average height now and i facially mog average people to oblivion but my sub5 treatment trauma still gives me brain cancer

 

[Foreverbrad]

Hey man im 16 yo nearly 17. Not ugly but not really atractive due to my large philtrum. Its my biggest insecurity, do you think a lip lift Will boost my self confidence and obviously would make me look better?

Never looked at it but if it fixes your failo then probably yeah.

 

[Evgeniy291]

Title

Was nt enough and had good social skills from birth till about 11 yrs old and I was already pretty ugly at the time but then COVID happened and and upon my return to irl school at 13 my social skills were nuked and I hadn't hit puberty yet so for the next three years I was teased and silently made fun of (even my mom rejected my feelings of sadness and depression because she couldn't understand why I had any reason to want to kill myself and I didn't share anything with her). And I became a mental cel in the process and now I have to spend the rest of my life undoing these effects.


Worst part is I wasn't even an ugly kid. I was super popular before I moved to America at 7 and instantly made friends in school even after I moved. You would think having so much positive reinforcement from the people around me for 11 years would help me get over it easier but it hasn't.


I didn't realize I wasn't ugly anymore till my final year of highschool at 17 and even then it was too late to do anything because mentally I felt as though everybody was already against me. I had friends I made in middle school which I still have now in college and I'm grateful for them but I couldn't and still can't fathom the idea of somebody who doesn’t already know me wanting to get to know me. When girls would stare at me in class I just believed they thought I was weird because I never talked. Hell I still do and yet a couple months after school ended I realized some of them added me on Snapchat during the school year.


Crazy how something so seemingly short and minor can permanently fuck someone up for life.


Maybe in some alternate reality I'm still low inhib and I never got hit with a late puberty and I'm a normie who is still bluepilled and believes in true love (i still kinda do btw) instead of being a blackpilled, self ostracizing, self loathing, self isolating, ‘loser’ who is so desperately trying to push everyone away while still wanting to be known and understood by everyone.


I probably have AVPD but I don't think I'll ever try and get diagnosed so it doesn't matter much.


With all this being said I've been working on it, I don't hate myself anywhere near as much as I did two years ago and I don't sit and complain or cope either. I just accept the harsh reality and try to make something out of myself.


TLDR; I became a mental cel due to experiencing the blackpill first hand.

Over

 

[Сигма Бой]

Dnr. Normie background story

 

[Zukiteru]

Dnr. Normie background story

I'm not gonna deny that it could have been worse but I was already exhibiting signs of mental illness before any of this so it just added insult to a pre existing injury

 

[Сигма Бой]

I'm not gonna deny that it could have been worse but I was already exhibiting signs of mental illness before any of this so it just added insult to a pre existing injury

Sounds like a problem that a therapist could answer.