Biggest problem with being a survivor of an abusive childhood.

[MoggerGaston]

Is that you are completely alone in life.

I've done way too much to try and vibe with people: try new hobbies, join new clubs, make new friends, dating and a lot more.
While I can look and behave in a way that has me liked by people/girls nowadays, it's impossible to find real connection with anyone as our lives have been so different.

My views of the world, my emotional state, the way I respond to situations, my desires and ambitions, etc.
They are all fundamentally different than those a person who has had an average childhood.

I always am alienated on a deeper level, even with people who like me and think I am funny, etc.

It's a state of feeling isolated and alone, not matter what I do. And this leaves me increasingly uninterested in participating in society, socializing; thriving in any way in my life.

I don't know what else to do anymore.


I feel like looksmaxxing actually made this problem worse:
Since with better looks, you tend to hangout with better-looking people, which have even better childhoods on average, so you are even more alienated with your own fucked childhood.

 

[MoggerGaston]

Same with studying hard and getting a good career, living an active healthy lifestyle, etc. The people you meet there have even better childhoods on average so it's even harder to connect.


You will rarely meet an attractive, educated person with a good career and a healthy, social, active lifestyle who has had a completely fucked up childhood.

It simply doesn't exist. It never happens.

 

[Whatever]

My life was already well outside of the norm growing up, in the past few years several near death experiences and all this other crazy shit has put me even farther down the beaten path. Like at this point a girl getting to know me would end up being some therapy session. The solution is a girl who is open minded, which yes has its own problems, but it’s non-negotiable, we can’t talk at all if she’s not.

 

[Primalsplit]

Maybe you don't want to hang around with other people because you resent them for having a better childhood?

It's understandable to be jealous but it does not make sense to blame them for having it better.

 

[MoggerGaston]

My life was already well outside of the norm growing up, in the past few years several near death experiences and all this other crazy shit has put me even farther down the beaten path. Like at this point a girl getting to know me would end up being some therapy session. The solution is a girl who is open minded, which yes has its own problems, but it’s non-negotiable, we can’t talk at all if she’s not.

The problem is that it's often already so hard for us to socialize, date and connect with a girl due to our maladapted personalities. The additional standard of having her be open-minded (on top of all other standards you have) makes it even harder.

Living life on that nightmare difficulty setting.
It's good to remind yourself that and then be mild to yourself when you fail and occur setbacks as you are not playing on that tutorial level that the people around you are.

Comparing my life to that of those around me has constantly made me lose massive amounts of progress as the despairs sucks out all my energy and motivation.

 

[try2beme]

i just accepted i aint a normal guy lmao prob bc of my childhood

 

[Gonthar]

Is that you are completely alone in life.

I've done way too much to try and vibe with people: try new hobbies, join new clubs, make new friends, dating and a lot more.
While I can look and behave in a way that has me liked by people/girls nowadays, it's impossible to find real connection with anyone as our lives have been so different.

My views of the world, my emotional state, the way I respond to situations, my desires and ambitions, etc.
They are all fundamentally different than those a person who has had an average childhood.

I always am alienated on a deeper level, even with people who like me and think I am funny, etc.

It's a state of feeling isolated and alone, not matter what I do. And this leaves me increasingly uninterested in participating in society, socializing; thriving in any way in my life.

I don't know what else to do anymore.


I feel like looksmaxxing actually made this problem worse:
Since with better looks, you tend to hangout with better-looking people, which have even better childhoods on average, so you are even more alienated with your own fucked childhood.

You need to relive your childhood - go and offer to work as a volunteer helping and playing with orphans, retards, refugee kids, etc...

 

[MoggerGaston]

i just accepted i aint a normal guy lmao prob bc of my childhood

True, I have accepted the same. It's still lonely and empty though.

 

[grnad]

I feel like a ghost

 

[AlexBrown84]

only solution is to become narcissist

 

[Whatever]

The problem is that it's often already so hard for us to socialize, date and connect with a girl due to our maladapted personalities. The additional standard of having her be open-minded (on top of all other standards you have) makes it even harder.

Living life on that nightmare difficulty setting.
It's good to remind yourself that and then be mild to yourself when you fail and occur setbacks as you are not playing on that tutorial level that the people around you are.

Comparing my life to that of those around me has constantly made me lose massive amounts of progress as the despairs sucks out all my energy and motivation.

I'd say that there are certain demographics of girls and potential friends that are more open minded then others, with 17-22, 24 year old max women being the most obvious. And this is why anyone who's at or near 30 and in a position like this absolutely needs to focus on anti-aging, skin and hair literally become life. That I've still got youthful skin and a thick NW1 is why I don't kill myself and I mean that.

So from there it becomes a matter of getting around that demographic in real life situations, getting back into girls' proximity. This is the fucking nightmare difficulty setting for me that I'm gonna have to make enormous changes in my life just to have a slight chance at fixing in this lonely fucking fucked up world. It's so fucking unfair having this developmentally delayed, abusive, unstable, childhood and repeatedly extended adolescence that I'm just now moving on from at 30 mentally, but the logistics are nowhere near in place yet. Because I would trust the process from there, it won't be my first rodeo. I'm a framelet, if she's still looking at me then she's ok with my frame. I'm a voicecel, if she's still talking to me then she's ok with my voice. I'm different, if she still texts/calls a lot then she's choosing someone who's different. This is the attitude that you need to have about anything wrong with you. But I can't even get this ball rolling without some massive changes and what seems like almost lottery winner luck.

 

[Never Get Up]

Another consequence of eating plant toxins

 

[MoggerGaston]

only solution is to become narcissist

Nothing wrong with a healthy dose of narcissism.

I believe the average male is not narcy enough, and what ppl call narcy on this forum has little to do with actual narcissism.

Like jfl at calling some insecure guy fishing for compliments 'narcy'. Those are literally on the opposite ends of the spectrum.

 

[MoggerGaston]

I'd say that there are certain demographics of girls and potential friends that are more open minded then others, with 17-22, 24 year old max women being the most obvious. And this is why anyone who's at or near 30 and in a position like this absolutely needs to focus on anti-aging, skin and hair literally become life. That I've still got youthful skin and a thick NW1 is why I don't kill myself and I mean that.

So from there it becomes a matter of getting around that demographic in real life situations, getting back into girls' proximity. This is the fucking nightmare difficulty setting for me that I'm gonna have to make enormous changes in my life just to have a slight chance at fixing in this lonely fucking fucked up world. It's so fucking unfair having this developmentally delayed, abusive, unstable, childhood and repeatedly extended adolescence that I'm just now moving on from at 30 mentally, but the logistics are nowhere near in place yet. Because I would trust the process from there, it won't be my first rodeo. I'm a framelet, if she's still looking at me then she's ok with my frame. I'm a voicecel, if she's still talking to me then she's ok with my voice. I'm different, if she still texts/calls a lot then she's choosing someone who's different. This is the attitude that you need to have about anything wrong with you. But I can't even get this ball rolling without some massive changes and what seems like almost lottery winner luck.

You are right and this is why our lives are so fucking hard.

Dont forget to be nice to yourself and appreciate how hard it is what you're doing.
This is not seen on your outside or ppl would be mirin'

 

[Judas Froome]

You feel that because you know being closed up eventually freaks people out, you have to open up. people can sense it.
You instead need to freak people out with your words.

A deeply traumatized broken person should not act normal