Black humor megapost, post your best Dark jokes/memes

[Dendoni]

1. Night, a little boy falls asleep in his nursery. Suddenly, a glowing portal appears in the room and an elderly man steps out.

The boy stares, asks what's going on.

"I am YOU from the future, and I arrived through this portal with a time machine" - answers the man.

"Wow, that's amazing, tell me everything!" - the boy is excited and asks - "What will I become when I grow up"?

The man approaches the door of the room, locks it and answers: "Pedophile."


2. Santa asks the children:

"Kids, do you want a white Christmas?"

Children: "Yes!!!!"

Santa: "Then sit on my lap."


3. - What do a Catholic priest and a Christmas tree have in common?

- Both have balls only for decoration.

 

[Dendoni]

What is the worst thing about being a black Jew? That he must sit in the back of the oven.

 

[cobicado901]

The man approaches the door of the room, locks it and answers: "Pedophile."

@Carbine its you lil bro

 

[Dendoni]

Once I was walking down the street and I saw a black man carrying a TV, at first I thought it was mine, but then I remembered that mine was at home and he was shining my shoes.

 

[Carbine]

@Carbine its you lil bro

 

[Dendoni]

The day before yesterday I licked a 90-year-old woman... when I suddenly feel the taste of horse semen... But I immediately say to myself: "Oh grandma... so this is how you died?!"

 

[tits]

The day before yesterday I licked a 90-year-old woman... when I suddenly feel the taste of horse semen... But I immediately say to myself: "Oh grandma... so this is how you died?!"

Porn plot right here

 

[Dendoni]

What should be done after the rape of a deaf and mute woman? Cut off fingers.

 

[Carbine]

What should be done after the rape of a deaf and mute woman? Cut off fingers.

I'd fuck the shit out of Helen Keller

 

[Dendoni]

The bald one says to the hunchback: "what are you carrying in that backpack" and the hunchback replies: "your comb you asshole."

 

[Dendoni]

What does a Somali do when he finds a full can? He will open a restaurant.

 

[Dendoni]

Yesterday we had sex education at school. The teacher brought a condom and a banana and said: today we will learn how to put on a condom. Here is a condom and I brought this banana because i can't get hard when I have an empty stomach.

 

[Dendoni]

A policeman is walking down the street and sees shit in the middle of the sidewalk. According to the motto to server and protect, he covers it with his cap so that no one steps on the shit.

A moment later, johnny is walking down the street with Jack, and Jack shouts: "Look, police cap!"

Johnny lifts the cap and exclaims in surprise: "And with a brain too!"

 

[Dendoni]

Do you know how long a black woman shits? 9 months

 

[Dendoni]

Do you know what you call a black guy in a suit?

Defendant stand up!

 

[qazw]

Damn I haven’t heard these jokes in years. Nostalgic