ascensionneeeded
Iron
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2024
- Posts
- 127
- Reputation
- 146
people always say things like "bro, leave the blackpill before it's too late." most of the time, these people just seem like attention-seeking nerds, but i have to admit there's truth to it. my life is still normal - i don't have thoughts of harming myself or anything like that. it's just that the quality of my life feels like it's taken a huge hit
i can't stand having photos taken of me anymore. i can't even make eye contact with attractive girls because i imagine them seeing me the way i see myself in photos - disgusted. i find myself squinting constantly but it doesn’t make me look better. instead, i just look odd, to the point where people ask if something’s wrong with my eyes. i’m always checking my reflection in my camera, and i’m genuinely revolted by what i see. my face doesn't match the image i have of myself in my mind
i want to be attractive and there’s a part of me that believes i could be, but i know i’m not and will never be. the realisation, that conflict between what i want to believe and the harsh reality hits me over and over. i’m not above average in any way. i never will be.
i've tried everything; maintaining a low body fat percentage, following a high frequency gym split, eating loads of red meat, avoiding estrogen, getting sunlight. i've even tried cope things like thumb pulling hoping it would make a difference. none of it works. i’m stuck with a face i can’t stand.
the only thing that represents my existence, my face, brings me so much sadness and disgust. this thought lingers in my mind constantly and it makes life feel miserable. and as much as i’d love to believe otherwise i know it’s true. looks matter so much, and i can’t escape that reality no matter how much i want to.
i can't stand having photos taken of me anymore. i can't even make eye contact with attractive girls because i imagine them seeing me the way i see myself in photos - disgusted. i find myself squinting constantly but it doesn’t make me look better. instead, i just look odd, to the point where people ask if something’s wrong with my eyes. i’m always checking my reflection in my camera, and i’m genuinely revolted by what i see. my face doesn't match the image i have of myself in my mind
i want to be attractive and there’s a part of me that believes i could be, but i know i’m not and will never be. the realisation, that conflict between what i want to believe and the harsh reality hits me over and over. i’m not above average in any way. i never will be.
i've tried everything; maintaining a low body fat percentage, following a high frequency gym split, eating loads of red meat, avoiding estrogen, getting sunlight. i've even tried cope things like thumb pulling hoping it would make a difference. none of it works. i’m stuck with a face i can’t stand.
the only thing that represents my existence, my face, brings me so much sadness and disgust. this thought lingers in my mind constantly and it makes life feel miserable. and as much as i’d love to believe otherwise i know it’s true. looks matter so much, and i can’t escape that reality no matter how much i want to.