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incelhunter
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Like it or hate it, how people perceive can determine if you are attractive or unattractive.
If you disagree, then reading this article should convince you.
If you agree, read on to learn how to be irresistibly attractive. Not by impressing people, but (surprise) by living an authentic life you are proud of.
One of the metrics we use to measure the social status of someone is how other people treat them.
Social status is about how confident, strong, and respect-worthy this person is.
A person who is high on all these metrics is definitely attractive.
And this is what I want to help you with in this article.
This may not sound pleasant to some people. Some may even argue that it is not fair to judge people this way.
But if you look around, it is true.
Those who are respected and admired by a good number of people tend to have an advantage.
They are often perceived as more powerful and even more attractive. Those who are not respected by most of their peers are usually not taken that seriously.
I am sure you can think of one example or two.
Social status will give you an advantage when it comes to dating and opportunities.
It will make you appear as a high-status person.
People who are perceived as high-status people are rarely bullied or mocked.
Yes, some toxic people will still go after such people, but not as often as they go after harmless victims and not with the same intentions.
The intention is usually to tear down those people because they appear stronger than the toxic people themselves.
The intention with the harmless victims is just to find someone weaker than yourself to gain an advantage and feel superior.
And we want to take advantage of this fact. We want you to be perceived as a high-status individual.
Do not suppress your ambition and desire for social status.
You need to have a decent number of people who like, respect and admire you. You need to be known.
Of course, I am not asking you to become a celebrity who is recognized everywhere you go. However, I want you to be well (or at least decently) known in the places you regularly spend your time in.
And not just known, but also respected and even admired.
For example, In my country, some neighborhoods are known to be violent.
If you are new, you are likely to be bullied and picked on, especially if you have what bullies and toxic people are looking for.
One of the best ways to prevent such bullying is by developing good relationships with some of these people.
And when I say good relationships, I mean being respected by some of these people. This is a good use of the social proof concept.
But there are right and wrong ways to apply the social proof concept.
When you do it right, you will be perceived as a high-status, attractive individual. And when you do it the wrong way, you will sound desperate and weak.
People who try too hard to be cool are usually perceived as anything but cool. Cool people do not try too hard (or do not try at all) to be cool.
You always sound desperate when you try to gain respect, admiration, love, and attention. And this is the main point.
You need to focus on two concepts:
And this is correct to a great extent, although it sounds like a self-help cliché.
Those who do not have any amount of self-respect are usually weak individuals with no self-confidence.
Self-respect, in our context, is mainly about not being needy and desperate. And it is about pursuing what is good for your future self.
Needy people are those who cling on to people to gain their approval because they believe they are worthless without it.
In extreme cases, they are the people who call you 15 times a day and continuously ask you about what you think of them or what they mean to you.
But it does not always have to be this way.
Generally, needy people thrive on approval and love and sacrifice their own self-respect to get all that.
They are terrified of being rejected and making someone disapprove of them in any possible way.
Therefore, they try (usually too hard) to impress people (even –and especially– if they tell you that they do not care what people think).
Counter-intuitively, they do not get any of whatever they try hard to get.
People with healthy self-esteem do not respect needy people because they perceive them as low-status individuals.
It may sound like a harsh judgment, but we do judge people. We are keenly aware of where others and ourselves score in the social hierarchy.
Don’t chase people out of desperation; pursue them because you are genuinely interested. Stop chasing those who ignore you. Walk away from situations that hurt you.
Don’t tolerate disrespect from anyone –not even from yourself.
Invest in yourself and do what you love and believe is good for you. Pursue the things that are good for your future self. It means caring enough about your future to build it.
Take care of yourself. Treat yourself like you are worthy and valuable — you are.
Say what you really believe in regardless of how people may perceive you.
Self-respect is going to be a side effect of all these behaviors.
And many people are going to be genuinely drawn to you.
But it won’t matter because you are not doing that to impress anyone –you are doing that because you care about yourself and believe you are responsible for your own life and happiness.
Why? First, having enough self-respect is an admirable trait in and of itself. People love those who value themselves.
Second, it will be automatically figured out once you start taking care of yourself.
That said, we can have better results if we have something we care about that other people find amazing.
This can be intelligence or a skill such as public speaking or even typing fast.
The more people care about your field of expertise, the more admirable you will become.
It all depends on where you spend your time and what you are interested in.
If you have no idea about coding and you spend your time around programmers, you will look at the ceiling stupidly most of the time.
But if you are passionate about coding and are good at it, that is a different story, especially in a programmers’ community.
So, the idea here is that, in addition to having self-respect, you need to spend most of your time doing things you love and things you are good at (or getting better at what you love).
Be so good at what you do and master it.
Given that you avoid being needy, and that you love what you do, and that you do it well enough, you will be more fulfilled than ever.
Being known and being popular somehow is just a side effect of this fulfilling lifestyle that you are living.
And the side effect of being known is having enough social proof to be perceived as a high-status individual.
Well, no!
Not to be perceived –to actually be that high-status, strong individual and draw people to you without trying.
Remember, the point of doing this is not to impress other people.
Some people will still hate you and consider you anything but charming.
But it’s okay.
The point is not even about taking advantage of this social proof concept!
The point is to develop the mindset of valuing yourself, doing what you believe in, and living a fulfilling life. Everything else is a side effect.
Enjoy all of this: the main cause and the side effect.
How Attractive You Are Is 90% Determined by Your Social Status
Like it or hate it, how people perceive can determine if you are attractive or unattractive.
If you disagree, then reading this article should convince you.
If you agree, read on to learn how to be irresistibly attractive. Not by impressing people, but (surprise) by living an authentic life you are proud of.
One of the metrics we use to measure the social status of someone is how other people treat them.
Social status is about how confident, strong, and respect-worthy this person is.
A person who is high on all these metrics is definitely attractive.
And this is what I want to help you with in this article.
This may not sound pleasant to some people. Some may even argue that it is not fair to judge people this way.
But if you look around, it is true.
Those who are respected and admired by a good number of people tend to have an advantage.
They are often perceived as more powerful and even more attractive. Those who are not respected by most of their peers are usually not taken that seriously.
I am sure you can think of one example or two.
Social status will give you an advantage when it comes to dating and opportunities.
It will make you appear as a high-status person.
People who are perceived as high-status people are rarely bullied or mocked.
Yes, some toxic people will still go after such people, but not as often as they go after harmless victims and not with the same intentions.
The intention is usually to tear down those people because they appear stronger than the toxic people themselves.
The intention with the harmless victims is just to find someone weaker than yourself to gain an advantage and feel superior.
Social proof
Social proof is one of the things that make people appear as high-status individuals.And we want to take advantage of this fact. We want you to be perceived as a high-status individual.
Do not suppress your ambition and desire for social status.
You need to have a decent number of people who like, respect and admire you. You need to be known.
Of course, I am not asking you to become a celebrity who is recognized everywhere you go. However, I want you to be well (or at least decently) known in the places you regularly spend your time in.
And not just known, but also respected and even admired.
For example, In my country, some neighborhoods are known to be violent.
If you are new, you are likely to be bullied and picked on, especially if you have what bullies and toxic people are looking for.
One of the best ways to prevent such bullying is by developing good relationships with some of these people.
And when I say good relationships, I mean being respected by some of these people. This is a good use of the social proof concept.
But there are right and wrong ways to apply the social proof concept.
When you do it right, you will be perceived as a high-status, attractive individual. And when you do it the wrong way, you will sound desperate and weak.
People who try too hard to be cool are usually perceived as anything but cool. Cool people do not try too hard (or do not try at all) to be cool.
You always sound desperate when you try to gain respect, admiration, love, and attention. And this is the main point.
You need to focus on two concepts:
- self-respect;
- having something admirable.
Self-respect
It is said that people give you the same amount of respect that you give yourself.And this is correct to a great extent, although it sounds like a self-help cliché.
Those who do not have any amount of self-respect are usually weak individuals with no self-confidence.
Self-respect, in our context, is mainly about not being needy and desperate. And it is about pursuing what is good for your future self.
Needy people are those who cling on to people to gain their approval because they believe they are worthless without it.
In extreme cases, they are the people who call you 15 times a day and continuously ask you about what you think of them or what they mean to you.
But it does not always have to be this way.
Generally, needy people thrive on approval and love and sacrifice their own self-respect to get all that.
They are terrified of being rejected and making someone disapprove of them in any possible way.
Therefore, they try (usually too hard) to impress people (even –and especially– if they tell you that they do not care what people think).
Counter-intuitively, they do not get any of whatever they try hard to get.
People with healthy self-esteem do not respect needy people because they perceive them as low-status individuals.
It may sound like a harsh judgment, but we do judge people. We are keenly aware of where others and ourselves score in the social hierarchy.
Don’t chase people out of desperation; pursue them because you are genuinely interested. Stop chasing those who ignore you. Walk away from situations that hurt you.
Don’t tolerate disrespect from anyone –not even from yourself.
Invest in yourself and do what you love and believe is good for you. Pursue the things that are good for your future self. It means caring enough about your future to build it.
Take care of yourself. Treat yourself like you are worthy and valuable — you are.
Say what you really believe in regardless of how people may perceive you.
Self-respect is going to be a side effect of all these behaviors.
And many people are going to be genuinely drawn to you.
But it won’t matter because you are not doing that to impress anyone –you are doing that because you care about yourself and believe you are responsible for your own life and happiness.
Having something admirable
Sometimes you don’t even need to work on this.Why? First, having enough self-respect is an admirable trait in and of itself. People love those who value themselves.
Second, it will be automatically figured out once you start taking care of yourself.
That said, we can have better results if we have something we care about that other people find amazing.
This can be intelligence or a skill such as public speaking or even typing fast.
The more people care about your field of expertise, the more admirable you will become.
It all depends on where you spend your time and what you are interested in.
If you have no idea about coding and you spend your time around programmers, you will look at the ceiling stupidly most of the time.
But if you are passionate about coding and are good at it, that is a different story, especially in a programmers’ community.
So, the idea here is that, in addition to having self-respect, you need to spend most of your time doing things you love and things you are good at (or getting better at what you love).
Be so good at what you do and master it.
Given that you avoid being needy, and that you love what you do, and that you do it well enough, you will be more fulfilled than ever.
Being known and being popular somehow is just a side effect of this fulfilling lifestyle that you are living.
And the side effect of being known is having enough social proof to be perceived as a high-status individual.
Well, no!
Not to be perceived –to actually be that high-status, strong individual and draw people to you without trying.
Remember, the point of doing this is not to impress other people.
Some people will still hate you and consider you anything but charming.
But it’s okay.
The point is not even about taking advantage of this social proof concept!
The point is to develop the mindset of valuing yourself, doing what you believe in, and living a fulfilling life. Everything else is a side effect.
Enjoy all of this: the main cause and the side effect.
