D
Deleted member 44207
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This is the story about my biggest missed opportunity in my life, and all because of my autism. I was 14 when this happened, and was in year 8. I never had many friends at school, and I was always a loner due to my autism. I never had any girls taking any interest in me either, until one day a beautiful girl named Audrey decided to take an interest in me, why? I will never know. It all started with her teasing me the year before, and her twin sister teasing me and begging me to kiss them. I pussied out because of my social anxiety and my fear that my autism would cause me to make a social blunder. And for context, she genuinely liked me. Out of the blue, she would always go up to me and hug me, approach me and try to start a conversation, (to no avail due to my autism and social ineptitude), and she even took my ruler one day, wrote "I <3 U" on it, and gave it back to me. She gave me a paper heart cutout with our initials on it too, and brace for it, the most brutal missed opportunity of my life...
I was talking to her at recess one day, and for some reason she started teasing me on the topic of sex toys. I don't remember how the entire conversation went, but the memory that sticks out in my head like a sore thumb, was this one comment she made to me:
HER: "Do you have a pocket pussy?"
ME: *awkwardly chuckles and says nothing because autism*
HER: "I can be your pocket pussy!"
ME: *awkwardly chuckles again, says "whoah" for some reason, then walks off*
Flash forward to today, and here I am, a kissless virgin, but wait, it gets WORSE
In my autistic and socially inept fashion, I tried messaging her on IG. The original plan was to ask if she still wanted to hook up, but in retrospect, I'm glad I never got to ask that. I messaged her, and unprompted, she randomly asks "Do you watch porn in class?" I was just shocked and didn't know how to respond, and in retrospect I probably shouldn't have responded at all, but in my retarded fashion I responded "No." and "It never happened". She kept pushing and she EVENTUALLY got my retarded autistic ass to admit to it, but it's not that simple. The story of what happened was that the night before, I was looking at some porn on simpcity. I found a google drive link and used it, but for some retarded-ass reason, it automatically saved to my google drive when I didn't do that on purpose. So when I was in class, I went to submit an assignment, opened up google drive, and BAM the porn popped up. I shut my laptop instantly and I never got any flak from that incident, so if that was the incident she was talking about, I guess I will never know. Other than that, I've never looked at porn in school. Regardless, she got me to admit it via pressuring me because of my autism and social anxiety, and the worst part was I continued messaging her, saying "This is really embarrassing but I can explain", hoping to explain the whole story to her. But nope, she ghosted me.
So, NOT ONLY did I ruin my relationship with the only girl in school who EVER liked me, but I gave her the ammunition to spread EVEN MORE rumors around school that I am some creep who watches porn in class (When I'm not).
This last part should go without saying, but a couple minutes after I messaged her, I got a message from her new boyfriend saying "Stop messaging my missus or we're going to have problems" or something like that. I'm not going to fucking bother rereading that shit, it'd make me too suicidal.
Sorry for the long read, but I just HAD to get this off my chest.
I was talking to her at recess one day, and for some reason she started teasing me on the topic of sex toys. I don't remember how the entire conversation went, but the memory that sticks out in my head like a sore thumb, was this one comment she made to me:
HER: "Do you have a pocket pussy?"
ME: *awkwardly chuckles and says nothing because autism*
HER: "I can be your pocket pussy!"
ME: *awkwardly chuckles again, says "whoah" for some reason, then walks off*
Flash forward to today, and here I am, a kissless virgin, but wait, it gets WORSE
In my autistic and socially inept fashion, I tried messaging her on IG. The original plan was to ask if she still wanted to hook up, but in retrospect, I'm glad I never got to ask that. I messaged her, and unprompted, she randomly asks "Do you watch porn in class?" I was just shocked and didn't know how to respond, and in retrospect I probably shouldn't have responded at all, but in my retarded fashion I responded "No." and "It never happened". She kept pushing and she EVENTUALLY got my retarded autistic ass to admit to it, but it's not that simple. The story of what happened was that the night before, I was looking at some porn on simpcity. I found a google drive link and used it, but for some retarded-ass reason, it automatically saved to my google drive when I didn't do that on purpose. So when I was in class, I went to submit an assignment, opened up google drive, and BAM the porn popped up. I shut my laptop instantly and I never got any flak from that incident, so if that was the incident she was talking about, I guess I will never know. Other than that, I've never looked at porn in school. Regardless, she got me to admit it via pressuring me because of my autism and social anxiety, and the worst part was I continued messaging her, saying "This is really embarrassing but I can explain", hoping to explain the whole story to her. But nope, she ghosted me.
So, NOT ONLY did I ruin my relationship with the only girl in school who EVER liked me, but I gave her the ammunition to spread EVEN MORE rumors around school that I am some creep who watches porn in class (When I'm not).
This last part should go without saying, but a couple minutes after I messaged her, I got a message from her new boyfriend saying "Stop messaging my missus or we're going to have problems" or something like that. I'm not going to fucking bother rereading that shit, it'd make me too suicidal.
Sorry for the long read, but I just HAD to get this off my chest.
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