Childhood trauma took years of my life and development, leaving me anxious and depressed.

[Bitterschön]

This is what happens when stupid people have children. I would never expose my kids to fear or trauma. Never. Many users here who haven't experienced it can’t understand the impact it can have on you. You’re highly likely to end up on the wrong track. Whether it's the criminal path or the anxious avoidant path, no longer open to relationships, it will fuck you up one way or another. Years of your life, poof, gone. Easily avoidable, hard to catch up on and process, and always associated with loss. I'm sorry to everyone who can relate to me.

 

[Bitterschön]

@superpsycho @MoggerGaston @MyDreamIsToBe183CM @134applesauce456 @ToryToad

 

[ToryToad]

I can relate

 

[superpsycho]

Family pill is brutal. i know two people personally who have been mentally fucked beyond repair due to a subhuman family.


enjoy this video.

 

[Lord Shadow]

yeah having dumb parents is the worse no matter your looks

 

[korne]

Damn, does antidepressants and benzodiazepines or something like that works?

 

[obscuredusk]

Having bad, low iq parents that doesn’t care about you is the worst

 

[Lord Shadow]

IQ & EQ is really important when raising kids

Damn, does antidepressants and benzodiazepines or something like that works?

depends how bad the trauma was, the brain is really good at adaptation though so opitmal treatment will always help a lot. Some stuff might still be perma fucked but it shouldn't inhib life or happiness that bad if everything else is in control

 

[Bitterschön]

Damn, does antidepressants and benzodiazepines or something like that works?

Don't know if it will help in my case. I just started Phenelzine/Nardil earlier this month.

 

[korne]

Don't know if it will help in my case. I just started Phenelzine/Nardil earlier this month.

Hope you'll get better man

 

[MoggerGaston]

my parents destroyed my nervous-system

i am diagnosed with c-PTSD and avoidant personality disorder. Did professional testing and these were the 2 conditions which came out extremely clear.

Both of these make my life a living hell.

 

[RapeAllFemales]

Witnessing scenes of violence in my home by my father on my mother + being constantly bullied at school ruined my life

 

[Proex]

i am diagnosed with c-PTSD and avoidant personality disorder

these trauma must be bad nigga, how can parents induce ptsd on a lion like you

 

[RapeAllFemales]

Family pill is brutal. i know two people personally who have been mentally fucked beyond repair due to a subhuman family.


enjoy this video.

we must recognize that if you start out in difficult family conditions you will play a completely different game compared to other people

 

[MoggerGaston]

these trauma must be bad nigga, how can parents induce ptsd on a lion like you

maybe your own mother telling you that you ruined her life, many times, just for being born because 'she is now stuck having to take care of you'?

I never actually understood how much of a deal this was back then cuz I didn't know any better. But now I think back of statements like these and realize my mother was a mentally ill lunatic. (i am no-contact with my entire family and ill never have family in my life ever again.)

Theres like no viable situation where you tell your 10yo child that it ruined your life for existing. Giving this permanent sense of never being good enough, being a dissapointment, being unwanted.
What type of mother (and my dad had a similar but less outspoken vibe) would tell their 10 year old kid that they wished it was never born?

thats what I dealt with and only now in my twenties did I start to realize how this affected my personality, the way I look at life, how I always feel like I am never good-enough, how I never feel welcome, it is now starting to make sense but I have no clue how to feel different. What can I do? it's brutal.

Whenever I think of 'healing', it is always from a sense of being a 'more valuable person'. So for example getting more attractive, getting more status, more money, dating attractive women.
But then I never actualy get anything out of this emotionally. Even during times that I mogged like when I dated the stacylite, I felt stressed and not good-enough.

So even when I -win- objectivally, I still lose emotionally. So I always lose

 

[Bitterschön]

Witnessing scenes of violence in my home by my father on my mother

Same here. And the screams... Over and over again during my childhood and youth.

we must recognize that if you start out in difficult family conditions you will play a completely different game compared to other people

Yep. Its life on hard or extreme mode, being fr.

 

[1966Ford]

Can relate

 

[MoggerGaston]

I am forever chasing this feeling of being good enough to exist because my parents told me I wasn't, yet I will never get it because unconditional love from your family was never supposed to be conditional. And now I am chasing conditions.

 

[Proex]

maybe your own mother telling you that you ruined her life, many times, just for being born because 'she is now stuck having to take care of you'?

I never actually understood how much of a deal this was back then cuz I didn't know any better. But now I think back of statements like these and realize my mother was a mentally ill lunatic. (i am no-contact with my entire family and ill never have family in my life ever again.)

Theres like no viable situation where you tell your 10yo child that it ruined your life for existing. Giving this permanent sense of never being good enough, being a dissapointment, being unwanted.
What type of mother (and my dad had a similar but less outspoken vibe) would tell their 10 year old kid that they wished it was never born?

thats what I dealt with and only now in my twenties did I start to realize how this affected my personality, the way I look at life, how I always feel like I am never good-enough, how I never feel welcome, it is now starting to make sense but I have no clue how to feel different. What can I do? it's brutal.

Whenever I think of 'healing', it is always from a sense of being a 'more valuable person'. So for example getting more attractive, getting more status, more money, dating attractive women.
But then I never actualy get anything out of this emotionally. Even during times that I mogged like when I dated the stacylite, I felt stressed and not good-enough.

So even when I -win- objectivally, I still lose emotionally. So I always lose

fuck bro i m sorry i read most of it and sad, keep the head up bhai

 

[MoggerGaston]

maybe your own mother telling you that you ruined her life, many times, just for being born because 'she is now stuck having to take care of you'?

I never actually understood how much of a deal this was back then cuz I didn't know any better. But now I think back of statements like these and realize my mother was a mentally ill lunatic. (i am no-contact with my entire family and ill never have family in my life ever again.)

Theres like no viable situation where you tell your 10yo child that it ruined your life for existing. Giving this permanent sense of never being good enough, being a dissapointment, being unwanted.
What type of mother (and my dad had a similar but less outspoken vibe) would tell their 10 year old kid that they wished it was never born?

thats what I dealt with and only now in my twenties did I start to realize how this affected my personality, the way I look at life, how I always feel like I am never good-enough, how I never feel welcome, it is now starting to make sense but I have no clue how to feel different. What can I do? it's brutal.

Whenever I think of 'healing', it is always from a sense of being a 'more valuable person'. So for example getting more attractive, getting more status, more money, dating attractive women.
But then I never actualy get anything out of this emotionally. Even during times that I mogged like when I dated the stacylite, I felt stressed and not good-enough.

So even when I -win- objectivally, I still lose emotionally. So I always lose

@Primalsplit

i dont think I can win. Ive thought it through. I think even if I become a leanmaxxed high-status rich version of myself waking up with 2 girls beside me, ill not feel good enough, crave more.

I realize now this is always the issue with me and it always goes like this:

1)I have some sort of interaction or life-event and not feel any emotional satisfaction, gratification. Even when the situation should warrant you feeling good because it is objectively positive.
2)My brain in response considers that this is because the situation isn't good enough" I don't feel good, that must mean it's because the girl I am dating isn't attractive enough, the guys I am socializing with are losers, the carreer/academic achievement I got wasnt good enough, and so on.
My damaged nervous-system refuses to award me for good things happening, and as a result my brain considers whatever is happening must be the problem and I need to get myself into a better situation. But any better situation would also lead to the same lack of good-feelings.

I cant fucking win. I literally am exactly aware of my mentall illnesses yet theres nothing I can do? The emotions are the same. I can't change my emotional response.

I hate the human brain it is a shit organ.

 

[Bitterschön]

my parents destroyed my nervous-system

i am diagnosed with c-PTSD and avoidant personality disorder. Did professional testing and these were the 2 conditions which came out extremely clear.

Both of these make my life a living hell.

maybe your own mother telling you that you ruined her life, many times, just for being born because 'she is now stuck having to take care of you'?

I never actually understood how much of a deal this was back then cuz I didn't know any better. But now I think back of statements like these and realize my mother was a mentally ill lunatic. (i am no-contact with my entire family and ill never have family in my life ever again.)

Theres like no viable situation where you tell your 10yo child that it ruined your life for existing. Giving this permanent sense of never being good enough, being a dissapointment, being unwanted.
What type of mother (and my dad had a similar but less outspoken vibe) would tell their 10 year old kid that they wished it was never born?

thats what I dealt with and only now in my twenties did I start to realize how this affected my personality, the way I look at life, how I always feel like I am never good-enough, how I never feel welcome, it is now starting to make sense but I have no clue how to feel different. What can I do? it's brutal.

Whenever I think of 'healing', it is always from a sense of being a 'more valuable person'. So for example getting more attractive, getting more status, more money, dating attractive women.
But then I never actualy get anything out of this emotionally. Even during times that I mogged like when I dated the stacylite, I felt stressed and not good-enough.

So even when I -win- objectivally, I still lose emotionally. So I always lose

I am forever chasing this feeling of being good enough to exist because my parents told me I wasn't, yet I will never get it because unconditional love from your family was never supposed to be conditional. And now I am chasing conditions.

@Primalsplit

i dont think I can win. Ive thought it through. I think even if I become a leanmaxxed high-status rich version of myself waking up with 2 girls beside me, ill not feel good enough, crave more.

I realize now this is always the issue with me and it always goes like this:

1)I have some sort of interaction or life-event and not feel any emotional satisfaction, gratification. Even when the situation should warrant you feeling good because it is objectively positive.
2)My brain in response considers that this is because the situation isn't good enough" I don't feel good, that must mean it's because the girl I am dating isn't attractive enough, the guys I am socializing with are losers, the carreer/academic achievement I got wasnt good enough, and so on.
My damaged nervous-system refuses to award me for good things happening, and as a result my brain considers whatever is happening must be the problem and I need to get myself into a better situation. But any better situation would also lead to the same lack of good-feelings.

I cant fucking win. I literally am exactly aware of my mentall illnesses yet theres nothing I can do? The emotions are the same. I can't change my emotional response.

I hate the human brain it is a shit organ.

Im sorry to hear this bro. I swear you are such a based guy, I wish your life had a different outcome. We have one life and getting fucked by our parents just like that, its tragic man. Mine arent even aware of what they have done, thats the funny part. The thing you are describing about never feeling/doing good enough is something Im dealing with too. I was diagnosed with ADHD, social anxiety and atypical depression. C-PTSD sounds realistic as well, but havent been tested for that. Im self medicating with Phenelzine right now which is mainly used for depression and social anxiety. But I just found out it can also be used to treat PTSD, interesting. I do Ketamine weekly now as well. Also looking to hop on Vorinostat beginning next month. I just hope it gets fixed man., cuz Im not sure if I can live with this for another 5 years, being honest. The parentspill is just too brutal. Another thing Ill never understand, is that my parents had shit parents themselves, but how couldnt they break the cycle and become good parents? Especially talking about my father. Ill never get that, like why make kids then?

 

[Marsiere214]

parenting license needs to be a thing

 

[LooksTester]

This is what happens when stupid people have children. I would never expose my kids to fear or trauma. Never. Many users here who haven't experienced it can’t understand the impact it can have on you. You’re highly likely to end up on the wrong track. Whether it's the criminal path or the anxious avoidant path, no longer open to relationships, it will fuck you up one way or another. Years of your life, poof, gone. Easily avoidable, hard to catch up on and process, and always associated with loss. I'm sorry to everyone who can relate to me.

womp womp nigga dnr

 

[Bitterschön]

womp womp nigga dnr

Kys irrelevant greycel

 

[LooksTester]

Kys irrelevant greycel

on a serious note giving your kids 0 trauma is a double edged sword you need to give them the right amount and the right type having drug addict abusive parents is the wrong typa trauma but having semi strict parents is the right amount the type to beat the fear of god into you if you miss behave

 

[MoggerGaston]

Im sorry to hear this bro. I swear you are such a based guy, I wish your life had a different outcome. We have one life and getting fucked by our parents just like that, its tragic man. Mine arent even aware of what they have done, thats the funny part. The thing you are describing about never feeling/doing good enough is something Im dealing with too. I was diagnosed with ADHD, social anxiety and atypical depression. C-PTSD sounds realistic as well, but havent been tested for that. Im self medicating with Phenelzine right now which is mainly used for depression and social anxiety. But I just found out it can also be used to treat PTSD, interesting. I do Ketamine weekly now as well. Also looking to hop on Vorinostat beginning next month. I just hope it gets fixed man., cuz Im not sure if I can live with this for another 5 years, being honest. The parentspill is just too brutal. Another thing Ill never understand, is that my parents had shit parents themselves, but how couldnt they break the cycle and become good parents? Especially talking about my father. Ill never get that, like why make kids then?

its so sad man cuz I know exactly what ur suffering through.

the loneliness is the worst for me, because people all around me, even though they may have similar lifestyles as me, feel completely different and I can't connect with them.
That's the worst, this loneliness, this isolation where I am around fellow students or at a rave and theres people my age doing supposedly the same thing as me here but I struggle with cptsd and AVPD and they just had/have normal lives.

 

[Primalsplit]

@Primalsplit

i dont think I can win. Ive thought it through. I think even if I become a leanmaxxed high-status rich version of myself waking up with 2 girls beside me, ill not feel good enough, crave more.

I realize now this is always the issue with me and it always goes like this:

1)I have some sort of interaction or life-event and not feel any emotional satisfaction, gratification. Even when the situation should warrant you feeling good because it is objectively positive.
2)My brain in response considers that this is because the situation isn't good enough" I don't feel good, that must mean it's because the girl I am dating isn't attractive enough, the guys I am socializing with are losers, the carreer/academic achievement I got wasnt good enough, and so on.
My damaged nervous-system refuses to award me for good things happening, and as a result my brain considers whatever is happening must be the problem and I need to get myself into a better situation. But any better situation would also lead to the same lack of good-feelings.

I cant fucking win. I literally am exactly aware of my mentall illnesses yet theres nothing I can do? The emotions are the same. I can't change my emotional response.

I hate the human brain it is a shit organ.

You focus too much on your emotions. You need to do something that gets you away from them. That's why you abuse drugs. But instead you need to live a different life until you forget your old identity. You need a new identity. You need to try to be someone else.

 

[batman1997]

Ive been rape as a kid by a girl and SA alot as I grew older I still experienced this thats why I dont usually go out alot because im afraid of people and getting exposed in public.

 

[davidlaidisme67]

This is what happens when stupid people have children. I would never expose my kids to fear or trauma. Never. Many users here who haven't experienced it can’t understand the impact it can have on you. You’re highly likely to end up on the wrong track. Whether it's the criminal path or the anxious avoidant path, no longer open to relationships, it will fuck you up one way or another. Years of your life, poof, gone. Easily avoidable, hard to catch up on and process, and always associated with loss. I'm sorry to everyone who can relate to me.

real but hey at least we found org yk

 

[davidlaidisme67]

Ive been rape as a kid by a girl and SA alot as I grew older I still experienced this thats why I dont usually go out alot because im afraid of people and getting exposed in public.

fuck man im sorry

 

[batman1997]

fuck man im sorry

Yea man tired of this shit

 

[Iraniancel]

99% of parents are abusive niggers tbh exposing their children to stress and poisoning them with chemicals and shitty food starting from pregnancy. But i feel you i wont go into detail but it was bad we had to run from our family jfl

 

[MoggerGaston]

You focus too much on your emotions. You need to do something that gets you away from them. That's why you abuse drugs. But instead you need to live a different life until you forget your old identity. You need a new identity. You need to try to be someone else.

not sure what u mean ngl. like with the rowing-fraternity top-athlete party-monster investmestment-guru I had years ago when I dated the stacylite?

it came crashing down in the end because it felt meaningless do things that dont make you feel good ngl.
like how I didn't feel any warmth or connection with the stacylite (except her physical body) so even on say our 20th date I just felt similar anxiety as on our 1st date.
same with the rowing-frat where even after 2 years I still felt like some unappreciated rookie who constantly needs to prove himself and doesn't really belong.

these were extremely rough periods in my life although I guess right now is worse but that's also due to age at this point. I think my mental-illnesses have started catching up to in the sense that my anxiety has only gotten worse and worse, i struggle with panic-attacks, sleep-paralysis often, sleep-walking, overall just a lot of restlesness.

I

 

[Primalsplit]

not sure what u mean ngl. like with the rowing-fraternity top-athlete party-monster investmestment-guru I had years ago when I dated the stacylite?

it came crashing down in the end because it felt meaningless do things that dont make you feel good ngl.
like how I didn't feel any warmth or connection with the stacylite (except her physical body) so even on say our 20th date I just felt similar anxiety as on our 1st date.
same with the rowing-frat where even after 2 years I still felt like some unappreciated rookie who constantly needs to prove himself and doesn't really belong.

these were extremely rough periods in my life although I guess right now is worse but that's also due to age at this point. I think my mental-illnesses have started catching up to in the sense that my anxiety has only gotten worse and worse, i struggle with panic-attacks, sleep-paralysis often, sleep-walking, overall just a lot of restlesness.

I

Why don't you just do something to make youdself happy? Your parents obviously sucked at loving you and stuff. But is it really just such an unrecoverable thing really? Are you just doomed for life? Maybe you just gaslight and brainwash yourself into being this unhappy miserable person.

Just do something else. Change your patterns. We're all children of this Earth. Go into nature. What you lack, is something you already have. Otherwise you wouldn't know you lacked it. It is built into your DNA. You can find similar stuff in how others treat each other.

If you think you were not loved as a child, then you can feel the same thing just by watching a mother loving her own child. The mother and child don'teven have to be human, animals also can do just fine.

 

[neurosis]

parenting license needs to be a thing

this lol

there are more legal regulations for adopting a rapid dog from the local animal shelter than there are birthing a literal human being