Cringing About My Past Self – How Every Year Feels Like Rock Bottom

zerotohero

zerotohero

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It’s wild. Every year that passes, I look back at my previous self and cringe so hard I almost want to erase those memories. Right now, it’s 2025, and I’m sitting here thinking about how much I can’t stand my 2024 self. A year ago, I was cringing about my 2023 self. And it’s been like this for as long as I can remember. It’s like every version of myself from the last few years is just a reminder of how far behind I am. But let’s get into it.

I’m 24 now, but honestly, it feels like I wasted 7 years of my life. I might be 24 in age, but mentally and emotionally, I feel like I’m 17. I wasted time on dumb shit like obsessing over video games, porn, social media, and just letting myself rot away. Every time I think about it, I get this sick feeling in my stomach. The impulsive decisions I made, the autistic shit I did, it’s like I was always one step behind. A lot of the time, it felt like I was an abused dog that never learned how to properly grow up. Every bad decision just dug me deeper into a hole I couldn’t climb out of.

I think a lot of my issues come from growing up without any real structure. And then I compounded that with being a poorfag. When you don’t have money or the right support, it’s easy to let your life fall apart. Add to that impulsivity, the BPD, and ADHD, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. It’s like I was living in my head, but never really participating in life.

The bad choices piled up. From wasting years on a computer science course I didn’t finish, to putting off going to college because I didn’t know what the hell I wanted, to getting distracted by meaningless shit. I was stuck in this loop of self-sabotage, and I just couldn’t get out.

But honestly, it wasn’t just the bad decisions that hurt. It was the fact that I didn’t have the maturity to recognize I was making them. I didn’t have the self-awareness to stop myself from falling deeper. It’s like I just kept running on autopilot, following impulses, doing things I thought were gonna work out, but they didn’t.

Now, I’m sitting here in 2025, looking back at all that wasted time and growth I could have had. I feel like every year that passes is just me acknowledging how far behind I really am. I’m still trying to fix all the shit I fucked up, but it’s a process. But the difference now is that I’m not running from it. I’m facing it. I’m putting in the work to catch up.

Every day I feel that itch to be more, to not let myself rot. I’m aware of how much time I lost, but I know it’s never too late. So I’m gonna keep pushing forward, even if I have to feel like shit every year until I get to a point where I can look back and think, “I did that. I’m not that version of myself anymore.” Until then, I just keep grinding, even if it’s painful. It’s about growing up, even if I had to start the process way too late.
 
  • +1
  • So Sad
Reactions: thecel, BlameAdamAndEve, hapagenes2 and 2 others
is this from some reddit post
 
  • Hmm...
Reactions: naygerPSL
You type like @thecel
 
  • Woah
Reactions: thecel
I feel like i can relate tho im 17. Ive done alot of useless things and wished i started younger. Like ive been working out for 3years but ive only trained and lifted properly last year and i wished i wouldve started that earlier. But i was too distracted by the games friends and social media.

Ur still 24. And this is ur one and only life youre going to have. Just enjoy it dont believe in regrets being bad but rather helping you to be who you are now. You cant change time. Honestly my mindset now is to get rich. Because in fuck knows 10years my hobby/aspirations might not be related to the gym anymore.

I would like some advice from you too if you were to tell your younger self 3 Very important things what are them.
 
It’s wild. Every year that passes, I look back at my previous self and cringe so hard I almost want to erase those memories. Right now, it’s 2025, and I’m sitting here thinking about how much I can’t stand my 2024 self. A year ago, I was cringing about my 2023 self. And it’s been like this for as long as I can remember. It’s like every version of myself from the last few years is just a reminder of how far behind I am. But let’s get into it.

I’m 24 now, but honestly, it feels like I wasted 7 years of my life. I might be 24 in age, but mentally and emotionally, I feel like I’m 17. I wasted time on dumb shit like obsessing over video games, porn, social media, and just letting myself rot away. Every time I think about it, I get this sick feeling in my stomach. The impulsive decisions I made, the autistic shit I did, it’s like I was always one step behind. A lot of the time, it felt like I was an abused dog that never learned how to properly grow up. Every bad decision just dug me deeper into a hole I couldn’t climb out of.

I think a lot of my issues come from growing up without any real structure. And then I compounded that with being a poorfag. When you don’t have money or the right support, it’s easy to let your life fall apart. Add to that impulsivity, the BPD, and ADHD, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. It’s like I was living in my head, but never really participating in life.

The bad choices piled up. From wasting years on a computer science course I didn’t finish, to putting off going to college because I didn’t know what the hell I wanted, to getting distracted by meaningless shit. I was stuck in this loop of self-sabotage, and I just couldn’t get out.

But honestly, it wasn’t just the bad decisions that hurt. It was the fact that I didn’t have the maturity to recognize I was making them. I didn’t have the self-awareness to stop myself from falling deeper. It’s like I just kept running on autopilot, following impulses, doing things I thought were gonna work out, but they didn’t.

Now, I’m sitting here in 2025, looking back at all that wasted time and growth I could have had. I feel like every year that passes is just me acknowledging how far behind I really am. I’m still trying to fix all the shit I fucked up, but it’s a process. But the difference now is that I’m not running from it. I’m facing it. I’m putting in the work to catch up.

Every day I feel that itch to be more, to not let myself rot. I’m aware of how much time I lost, but I know it’s never too late. So I’m gonna keep pushing forward, even if I have to feel like shit every year until I get to a point where I can look back and think, “I did that. I’m not that version of myself anymore.” Until then, I just keep grinding, even if it’s painful. It’s about growing up, even if I had to start the process way too late.
Although physically i experinced nothing in the past years and have been a loser.I spiritually did ascend and my motive and ideology religion etc is good enough for me.I truly needed this pain to understand everything.
 

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