Crippling anxiety, here we are again back to root 1.

[FiendFiend]

After going out once or twice a week with friends and genualy being somewhat happy living life. I am absolutely certain my looks saved my ass in these interactions, had I been a high bf % acne filled skinhead like i was 2 years ago and this friend I grew up with and went to school together with. I was told I look good and different by him , and just glazed through out the night by him and his family.

Just before this I was binge watching DBDR, going sleep at 5am, waking up like 3pm or 4pm. Just absolutely defeated.

Basically to summarize I ended up going out with this friend for a couple weeks, and genually had a good time. Part of what broke me out of my shell was the fact my dad wasnt there, and overall my dad just gives me the craziest cortisol spike in the world, I even told my mom if this guy comes back home after he was on vacation for couple months, that Im leaving the house (im 17 btw). This created a massive beef and all I say to him is hi. and he says hi back in a pissed off way. This guy just blasts TV downstairs and drinks, I feel basically locked in my room cuz i dont want to see him.

Btw this nigga is an alcoholic who got into fights in front of me , beat me and my brothers ass before, u can see by me and my brothers body language around him we dont want to be around this fucking orc. Whilst on vacation in november he did end up apologizing cuz I just locked myself in the room rotting on holiday cuz this guy was like fucking drunk naked on the couch and being a nusance and I said I dont even wanna go out bro.

The issue is I have a good relationship with my mom, she helps me a lot and is like the only one other than my other friend who checks up on me. And she has a good relationship with my dad, my mom just says im making shit up now, and now that my dad is trying not to drink as much that im just making shit up in my head and "making an enemy out of him". How the fuck did I make an enemy out of him after all the shit he did in my childhood? I talked about how my other friend is happy cuz his dad who also abused him before broke up with his mom. He seems way happier and shit and way less anxious in his own house.

But nah bro she says "oh well they HAD it MUCH worse". Fucking ridiculous. Also I tried to explain to her that me and my brother have aspergers, my brother and I being probably quite smart. I mean my brother is in one of the best universities in the world doing computer science, and does this weird thing still to this day where he flaps his hands around like an autist when hes alone and makes noises , its the funniest shit ever, but i think its part to do with his autism.

Our autism didnt stick out that bad though cuz we werent dumbasses, we pretty much mogged most people in our grade too. Even his autistic ass somehow had girls msging him on snap in secondary school where he would respond with the most autistic and dry shit when they were hitting on him ( i went thru his texts b4 ). We never ever made friends, they just came up to us and people would just like to be around the smart pretty decent looking kids, and anyone was lower inhib.

Anyways despite all that, my mom just says we are "troubled teenagers" who are just "introverted", not autistic. She thinks autistic people all have to be fucking disabled niggas on wheelchairs or something. Like ffs. Anyways, since this whole shit of my dad coming back, then also my cat dying, i just am fucked and dont even wanna go out anymore with my friend, and dont want to message first, i dont want to fucking do anything and im waking up like 7pm and going to sleep at 7am.

Someone help me what the fuck do I do. At this rate im gonna be rotting forever man. Atleast Im getting back into driving so I have that going, hopefully that goes good.

 

[FiendFiend]

bump i swear if this gets no comments or views imarope

 

[FiendFiend]

BUMP NIGGER

 

[Underdog9494]

I don't really talk to my parents since im basically getting bullied by them and i think they hate me.
Dude if you look good get out of here and hang out with your friend.
Best advice i can give you.

 

[FiendFiend]

I don't really talk to my parents since im basically getting bullied by them and i think they hate me.
Dude if you look good get out of here and hang out with your friend.
Best advice i can give you.

Ty bro. I feel how its like. But when I dont even feel comfortable to walk around the house I live in, I will not be comfortable to walk outside. Last time I met my friend my pitch was lower, and it felt like a dark cloud was looming over my head. In the end we had a good time, but then I had to return home to this mental fuckery that I have to wake up and go to sleep to.

 

[FiendFiend]

Ty bro. I feel how its like. But when I dont even feel comfortable to walk around the house I live in, I will not be comfortable to walk outside. Last time I met my friend my pitch was lower, and it felt like a dark cloud was looming over my head. In the end we had a good time, but then I had to return home to this mental fuckery that I have to wake up and go to sleep to.

I feel like all this build up might just cause me crashing out soon bro. This is really no life to live like this. Im a fucking good looking guy I should be living my peak I am 17, and I am fucking rotting on org cuz of this faggot.

Once again hopefully when I go for my summer trip, I have an amazing time, and fucking feel free for once, free from parents, fucking experience some sort of teen love, go on a car trip across the USA. If that doesnt end up well man idek what to do atp. Lets just hope my NT friend saves my life theory.

 

[Underdog9494]

Ty bro. I feel how its like. But when I dont even feel comfortable to walk around the house I live in, I will not be comfortable to walk outside. Last time I met my friend my pitch was lower, and it felt like a dark cloud was looming over my head. In the end we had a good time, but then I had to return home to this mental fuckery that I have to wake up and go to sleep to.

Same bro.
I hate my house too and i avoid my psrents too
My dad used to call me a retard or something when i was a kid and my mom always got mad at me and hit me
Once she made me sleep outside at night
Like on the balcony.
But what can we do?
We can't do anything after all
I just don't really talk to my parents (or anyone) and go on with my life

 

[FiendFiend]

Same bro.
I hate my house too and i avoid my psrents too
My dad used to call me a retard or something when i was a kid and my mom always got mad at me and hit me
Once she made me sleep outside at night
Like on the balcony.
But what can we do?
We can't do anything after all
I just don't really talk to my parents (or anyone) and go on with my life

yeah honestly fuck them. They are too fucking retarded to realise a kid is just the product of his envireonment. If your kid is fucking rotting its your fault. If your kid is a retard its your fault. You passed down your genetics so u must be the retard.

Im not even a whiny twat, despite this shit I still try my best bro. Why else do i dedicate so much time and effort leanmaxxing, moneymaxxing. I want life to fucking change, but as long as this fuck is around I can not change one bit. It doesnt matter if he changes his behaviour. He hasnt been drinking, does it make a difference? I dont want to talk to him and he doesnt make an effort to talk to me anyway. The damage is done, its like touching a hot stove, u know not to do it again, why would u even talk to the same person who the only version u know of him is drunk doing crazy shit and beating us.

 

[Underdog9494]

yeah honestly fuck them. They are too fucking retarded to realise a kid is just the product of his envireonment. If your kid is fucking rotting its your fault. If your kid is a retard its your fault. You passed down your genetics so u must be the retard.

Im not even a whiny twat, despite this shit I still try my best bro. Why else do i dedicate so much time and effort leanmaxxing, moneymaxxing. I want life to fucking change, but as long as this fuck is around I can not change one bit. It doesnt matter if he changes his behaviour. He hasnt been drinking, does it make a difference? I dont want to talk to him and he doesnt make an effort to talk to me anyway. The damage is done, its like touching a hot stove, u know not to do it again, why would u even talk to the same person who the only version u know of him is drunk doing crazy shit and beating us.

Dude just ignore him and go on.
I know its hard to but it must be done.
Just pretend he never existed.

 

[FiendFiend]

Dude just ignore him and go on.
I know its hard to but it must be done.
Just pretend he never existed.

nah bro that is damn near impossible my friend told me to do that shit but I cant. Its completely out of my control. I dont ever decide to be pissed off by his precense. I just try ignore and live my life, but I genually fucking cant. If its that unbearable I might just stage a crash out so these niggas know im not playing.

I already threatend to leave the house once and packed my shit and my mom was like no dont leave. There is no fucking language these guys understand except some sort of threat. Might just start breaking shit in the morning atp I dont give a fuck, cuz thats really how im feeling. And threaten to leave the house if that faggot isnt fucking gone out of here. Some faggot ass "humane" part of me feels bad for him. Muh hes working and sad and drink beer and watch TV i feel so bad.

Fuck that, that nigga failed to be present in my life and beat my ass, and gives me a cortisol spike like no one else. I am not fucking living with him. If needed I would fucking go homeless.

 

[FiendFiend]

nah bro that is damn near impossible my friend told me to do that shit but I cant. Its completely out of my control. I dont ever decide to be pissed off by his precense. I just try ignore and live my life, but I genually fucking cant. If its that unbearable I might just stage a crash out so these niggas know im not playing.

I already threatend to leave the house once and packed my shit and my mom was like no dont leave. There is no fucking language these guys understand except some sort of threat. Might just start breaking shit in the morning atp I dont give a fuck, cuz thats really how im feeling. And threaten to leave the house if that faggot isnt fucking gone out of here. Some faggot ass "humane" part of me feels bad for him. Muh hes working and sad and drink beer and watch TV i feel so bad.

Fuck that, that nigga failed to be present in my life and beat my ass, and gives me a cortisol spike like no one else. I am not fucking living with him. If needed I would fucking go homeless.

imagine basically being told to live with your fucking rapist. He ofc didnt rape me but raped me mentally with all the shit he did. I shouldnt put up with this shit and I wont. Crash out coming soon. I may not come back to this forum for a while if I genually go out on the street.

 

[MyDreamIsToBe183CM]

After going out once or twice a week with friends and genualy being somewhat happy living life. I am absolutely certain my looks saved my ass in these interactions, had I been a high bf % acne filled skinhead like i was 2 years ago and this friend I grew up with and went to school together with. I was told I look good and different by him , and just glazed through out the night by him and his family.

Just before this I was binge watching DBDR, going sleep at 5am, waking up like 3pm or 4pm. Just absolutely defeated.

Basically to summarize I ended up going out with this friend for a couple weeks, and genually had a good time. Part of what broke me out of my shell was the fact my dad wasnt there, and overall my dad just gives me the craziest cortisol spike in the world, I even told my mom if this guy comes back home after he was on vacation for couple months, that Im leaving the house (im 17 btw). This created a massive beef and all I say to him is hi. and he says hi back in a pissed off way. This guy just blasts TV downstairs and drinks, I feel basically locked in my room cuz i dont want to see him.

Btw this nigga is an alcoholic who got into fights in front of me , beat me and my brothers ass before, u can see by me and my brothers body language around him we dont want to be around this fucking orc. Whilst on vacation in november he did end up apologizing cuz I just locked myself in the room rotting on holiday cuz this guy was like fucking drunk naked on the couch and being a nusance and I said I dont even wanna go out bro.

The issue is I have a good relationship with my mom, she helps me a lot and is like the only one other than my other friend who checks up on me. And she has a good relationship with my dad, my mom just says im making shit up now, and now that my dad is trying not to drink as much that im just making shit up in my head and "making an enemy out of him". How the fuck did I make an enemy out of him after all the shit he did in my childhood? I talked about how my other friend is happy cuz his dad who also abused him before broke up with his mom. He seems way happier and shit and way less anxious in his own house.

But nah bro she says "oh well they HAD it MUCH worse". Fucking ridiculous. Also I tried to explain to her that me and my brother have aspergers, my brother and I being probably quite smart. I mean my brother is in one of the best universities in the world doing computer science, and does this weird thing still to this day where he flaps his hands around like an autist when hes alone and makes noises , its the funniest shit ever, but i think its part to do with his autism.

Our autism didnt stick out that bad though cuz we werent dumbasses, we pretty much mogged most people in our grade too. Even his autistic ass somehow had girls msging him on snap in secondary school where he would respond with the most autistic and dry shit when they were hitting on him ( i went thru his texts b4 ). We never ever made friends, they just came up to us and people would just like to be around the smart pretty decent looking kids, and anyone was lower inhib.

Anyways despite all that, my mom just says we are "troubled teenagers" who are just "introverted", not autistic. She thinks autistic people all have to be fucking disabled niggas on wheelchairs or something. Like ffs. Anyways, since this whole shit of my dad coming back, then also my cat dying, i just am fucked and dont even wanna go out anymore with my friend, and dont want to message first, i dont want to fucking do anything and im waking up like 7pm and going to sleep at 7am.

Someone help me what the fuck do I do. At this rate im gonna be rotting forever man. Atleast Im getting back into driving so I have that going, hopefully that goes good.

Dnrd but 183 cm

 

[FiendFiend]

Dude just ignore him and go on.
I know its hard to but it must be done.
Just pretend he never existed.

Ive never drank alcohol but tonight ima take a sip so in the morning I fucking crash out instead of keeping this shit inside. Wish me luck rofl

 

[Underdog9494]

nah bro that is damn near impossible my friend told me to do that shit but I cant. Its completely out of my control. I dont ever decide to be pissed off by his precense. I just try ignore and live my life, but I genually fucking cant. If its that unbearable I might just stage a crash out so these niggas know im not playing.

I already threatend to leave the house once and packed my shit and my mom was like no dont leave. There is no fucking language these guys understand except some sort of threat. Might just start breaking shit in the morning atp I dont give a fuck, cuz thats really how im feeling. And threaten to leave the house if that faggot isnt fucking gone out of here. Some faggot ass "humane" part of me feels bad for him. Muh hes working and sad and drink beer and watch TV i feel so bad.

Fuck that, that nigga failed to be present in my life and beat my ass, and gives me a cortisol spike like no one else. I am not fucking living with him. If needed I would fucking go homeless.

Idk im sorry bro but idk what you're supposed to do now.
Im kind of a sociopath so i can't really relate

 

[Underdog9494]

Ive never drank alcohol but tonight ima take a sip so in the morning I fucking crash out instead of keeping this shit inside. Wish me luck rofl

Good luck bhai

 

[acertyxx_]

After going out once or twice a week with friends and genualy being somewhat happy living life. I am absolutely certain my looks saved my ass in these interactions, had I been a high bf % acne filled skinhead like i was 2 years ago and this friend I grew up with and went to school together with. I was told I look good and different by him , and just glazed through out the night by him and his family.

Just before this I was binge watching DBDR, going sleep at 5am, waking up like 3pm or 4pm. Just absolutely defeated.

Basically to summarize I ended up going out with this friend for a couple weeks, and genually had a good time. Part of what broke me out of my shell was the fact my dad wasnt there, and overall my dad just gives me the craziest cortisol spike in the world, I even told my mom if this guy comes back home after he was on vacation for couple months, that Im leaving the house (im 17 btw). This created a massive beef and all I say to him is hi. and he says hi back in a pissed off way. This guy just blasts TV downstairs and drinks, I feel basically locked in my room cuz i dont want to see him.

Btw this nigga is an alcoholic who got into fights in front of me , beat me and my brothers ass before, u can see by me and my brothers body language around him we dont want to be around this fucking orc. Whilst on vacation in november he did end up apologizing cuz I just locked myself in the room rotting on holiday cuz this guy was like fucking drunk naked on the couch and being a nusance and I said I dont even wanna go out bro.

The issue is I have a good relationship with my mom, she helps me a lot and is like the only one other than my other friend who checks up on me. And she has a good relationship with my dad, my mom just says im making shit up now, and now that my dad is trying not to drink as much that im just making shit up in my head and "making an enemy out of him". How the fuck did I make an enemy out of him after all the shit he did in my childhood? I talked about how my other friend is happy cuz his dad who also abused him before broke up with his mom. He seems way happier and shit and way less anxious in his own house.

But nah bro she says "oh well they HAD it MUCH worse". Fucking ridiculous. Also I tried to explain to her that me and my brother have aspergers, my brother and I being probably quite smart. I mean my brother is in one of the best universities in the world doing computer science, and does this weird thing still to this day where he flaps his hands around like an autist when hes alone and makes noises , its the funniest shit ever, but i think its part to do with his autism.

Our autism didnt stick out that bad though cuz we werent dumbasses, we pretty much mogged most people in our grade too. Even his autistic ass somehow had girls msging him on snap in secondary school where he would respond with the most autistic and dry shit when they were hitting on him ( i went thru his texts b4 ). We never ever made friends, they just came up to us and people would just like to be around the smart pretty decent looking kids, and anyone was lower inhib.

Anyways despite all that, my mom just says we are "troubled teenagers" who are just "introverted", not autistic. She thinks autistic people all have to be fucking disabled niggas on wheelchairs or something. Like ffs. Anyways, since this whole shit of my dad coming back, then also my cat dying, i just am fucked and dont even wanna go out anymore with my friend, and dont want to message first, i dont want to fucking do anything and im waking up like 7pm and going to sleep at 7am.

Someone help me what the fuck do I do. At this rate im gonna be rotting forever man. Atleast Im getting back into driving so I have that going, hopefully that goes good.

dnr cos im feeling miserable rn but wordd to the title

 

[acertyxx_]

dnr cos im feeling miserable rn but wordd to the title

cs this nigga right here broke in my hymen @thales20

 

[thales20]

cs this nigga right here broke in my hymen

Just be a better human bro.

 

[acertyxx_]

Just be a better human bro.

i didnt do shit and you started diggin up my ugly greycel days to make fun of me

 

[thales20]

i didnt do shit and you started diggin up my ugly greycel days to make fun of me

 

[acertyxx_]

View attachment 3559801

it made u that mad cmon brah

 

[thales20]

it made u that mad cmon brah

No, I actually tried helping you at first saying you could delete the treads, but you went full on damage control on me and the rest is story

 

[superpsycho]

over

 

[Lalala]

After going out once or twice a week with friends and genualy being somewhat happy living life. I am absolutely certain my looks saved my ass in these interactions, had I been a high bf % acne filled skinhead like i was 2 years ago and this friend I grew up with and went to school together with. I was told I look good and different by him , and just glazed through out the night by him and his family.

Just before this I was binge watching DBDR, going sleep at 5am, waking up like 3pm or 4pm. Just absolutely defeated.

Basically to summarize I ended up going out with this friend for a couple weeks, and genually had a good time. Part of what broke me out of my shell was the fact my dad wasnt there, and overall my dad just gives me the craziest cortisol spike in the world, I even told my mom if this guy comes back home after he was on vacation for couple months, that Im leaving the house (im 17 btw). This created a massive beef and all I say to him is hi. and he says hi back in a pissed off way. This guy just blasts TV downstairs and drinks, I feel basically locked in my room cuz i dont want to see him.

Btw this nigga is an alcoholic who got into fights in front of me , beat me and my brothers ass before, u can see by me and my brothers body language around him we dont want to be around this fucking orc. Whilst on vacation in november he did end up apologizing cuz I just locked myself in the room rotting on holiday cuz this guy was like fucking drunk naked on the couch and being a nusance and I said I dont even wanna go out bro.

The issue is I have a good relationship with my mom, she helps me a lot and is like the only one other than my other friend who checks up on me. And she has a good relationship with my dad, my mom just says im making shit up now, and now that my dad is trying not to drink as much that im just making shit up in my head and "making an enemy out of him". How the fuck did I make an enemy out of him after all the shit he did in my childhood? I talked about how my other friend is happy cuz his dad who also abused him before broke up with his mom. He seems way happier and shit and way less anxious in his own house.

But nah bro she says "oh well they HAD it MUCH worse". Fucking ridiculous. Also I tried to explain to her that me and my brother have aspergers, my brother and I being probably quite smart. I mean my brother is in one of the best universities in the world doing computer science, and does this weird thing still to this day where he flaps his hands around like an autist when hes alone and makes noises , its the funniest shit ever, but i think its part to do with his autism.

Our autism didnt stick out that bad though cuz we werent dumbasses, we pretty much mogged most people in our grade too. Even his autistic ass somehow had girls msging him on snap in secondary school where he would respond with the most autistic and dry shit when they were hitting on him ( i went thru his texts b4 ). We never ever made friends, they just came up to us and people would just like to be around the smart pretty decent looking kids, and anyone was lower inhib.

Anyways despite all that, my mom just says we are "troubled teenagers" who are just "introverted", not autistic. She thinks autistic people all have to be fucking disabled niggas on wheelchairs or something. Like ffs. Anyways, since this whole shit of my dad coming back, then also my cat dying, i just am fucked and dont even wanna go out anymore with my friend, and dont want to message first, i dont want to fucking do anything and im waking up like 7pm and going to sleep at 7am.

Someone help me what the fuck do I do. At this rate im gonna be rotting forever man. Atleast Im getting back into driving so I have that going, hopefully that goes good.

wheres the tldr, maybe i can be of some help if i get summary