TheBiggestIncelEver
KAJ
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2024
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He is Asian and got signed as a modelI am in an amazing place in life but some really nasty internet forums I spent my developing years on have left scars that I still feel once inawhile
I grew up in a pretty abusive fucked up family and I was neurodivergent. I didn't really learn how to make friends well and never really had self esteem due to the way my parents broke me down.
To escape I spent a lot of time on online forums. I was always pretty vain about my looks as I got attention for them while younger even though I wasn't very confident or socially aware.
I ended up focusing on this as this was some of the only positive reinforcement I got and ended up on these looksmaxxing websites which I later realized were incel websites.
By that point I had already spent a significant amount of time either on those communities or gaming. Initially I wanted to get on to brag or get attention but I was quickly attacked by other users due to my race.
I am Asian and those forums tended to be very white supremacist. They would pretty much say any non white looking minority was fucked for life and would talk nonstop about how ugly white dudes can fuck hot women of any race. Only problem looking back was the majority of the users were white and either larping about being other races or severely depressed and never talked to a girl.
So this community which I wanted to find that was devoted to looking good and studying it scientifically turned into this really racist hateful and nasty echo chamber.
I met some good people there who were just normal dudes and they all confirmed I looked fine. However the more time I spent there the more convinced I was by all the hate that I was fucked as an Asian guy and I needed to get advanced surgeries to look good.
Their were some normal ish guys there who did confirm to me I was fine and should get off this website but I never listened. I think I wanted to be validated on there for my looks.
This ended up making me resent white people as this was the only image I got of them in my formative years. Most of them were really nasty, racist, insecure and looking back delusional about how the world works.
I think eventually I grew out of this phase slowly and I never looked back at that community.
Now I'm about to graduate, I have a girl I'm seeing seriously and many attractive options to date. I have great friends, great hobbies, and have a good job. I even got signed as a model.
I ended up doing alot of creative things in performing arts that I always wanted to do growing up and although I made alot of mistakes I feel my life is getting better and better ever year.
The world has changed now and in alot of ways for the better. I still find myself feeling alot of pain and resentment from that time.
There definitely was a time where if you were a privileged race you could do anything you wanted regardless of how you looked or what sort of person you were.
I'm angry society was like that for me growing up. That their were people who did that and still felt the need to rub it in online which I realize now must make them terrible.
I feel sad no one talked to me or helped me in my family or friends when I was an abused and lonely teen that I really found that to be a good place to socialize.
I think it was meant to happen for me honestly looking back being on the computer was my only comfort in really just a sad world where my parents were always fighting and never supported me and alot of lonely and abused young men end up not getting the help they need.