Depressed asf today

Sean o' Tist

Sean o' Tist

no surgery for autism
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Jun 10, 2024
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I feel bad, barely a human.
I once again realized that I have wasted so much time already, basically 14-18yo was completly wasted in my case to porn a nd tiktok.
My life is so meaningles. Not only am I khhv, but also I have aspergers and am really awkward, which has contributed to experiencing social anxiety. The anxiety has been getting better lately,but still.
While other people were living their lives, I was rotting my youth away. I cant even feel sorry for anyone, but me.
It sucks.
The end.
 
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Well if you have aspergers then it's a good thing that women are genociding you. Just live out your life and accept that you shouldn't pass your malfunctioning seed on.
 
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Well if you have aspergers then it's a good thing that women are genociding you. Just live out your life and accept that you shouldn't pass your malfunctioning seed on.
I understand. I dont want children. I just want to live as normal human being
 
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I feel bad, barely a human.
I once again realized that I have wasted so much time already, basically 14-18yo was completly wasted in my case to porn a nd tiktok.
My life is so meaningles. Not only am I khhv, but also I have aspergers and am really awkward, which has contributed to experiencing social anxiety. The anxiety has been getting better lately,but still.
While other people were living their lives, I was rotting my youth away. I cant even feel sorry for anyone, but me.
It sucks.
The end.
I can relate a lot to it how did you stop with porn
 
I can relate a lot to it how did you stop with porn
Well, first of all you have to understand, that it is a long process.
It took me like 4 months so far, and time to time I still have cravings, so Im not completly free still.

But the first major step that significantly helped me, was to go on family holiday whitout my phone and whitout computer. It was this summer, and it was firts time in my life, since puberty, that I had been porn free for whole 8 days.

Then, after I returned home, I ofc immidietely relapsed, but the intensity of watchig porn has been way lower ever since (keep in mind, that as 13-17 yo I was watching porn every single day after school, probabily like an hour each day)
So I reduced it to, well like once every 2-3 days. Which was still slave life, but that progress was pretty significant for me.

And recently, I payd for premium version of one porn blocker app on my phone, so I could enable uninstall protection, its been like 2-3 weeks that I have been completly free from real porn.

Ofc, time to time I still resort to some softocre erotica, unfortunately, but still, its way better than it used to be.
 
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Most male aspies don't ever had girlfriends
Some of them had but it was hard to keep them
It's even harder if you're ugly because you have to carry the blackpill with the fact you're socially disabled.
 
Pretend I’m your mom, this will heal you.
(Read this in mommy voice)

‘It’s okay baby, mommy’s here nothing can hurt you. You’re special, you’re loved and you’re a good person. Don’t let the bad world hurt you out there, don’t let them take away the goodness in you. I love you so much kiddo, you WILL be fine I know that from the bottom of my heart. Don’t ever give up!’
 
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