M
maybeinthenextlife
kill me
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2025
- Posts
- 26
- Reputation
- 18
Every interaction I have feels artificial, talking to my mum feels like everything is just automated and like I’m in my own head, and my brain is just making up a reality to prevent me from hurting myself. People outside don’t see me as a person, let alone see me at all. I know my friends don’t like me and I was genetically predisposed for social rejection and failure, making me think more and more about how long I can carry on living life as a subhuman deprived of social interaction.
A few months ago thought I looked alright, not like some fucking animal alien, but the more I think about it the more I realise that the cause of all my female deprivation is 80% my looks and 20% my awkwardness or complete social failure, and I’m in a limbo between rage, but also understanding (I wouldn’t choose myself if I was a girl or anyone else). I envy those who communicate so effortlessly with people, it’s so evident and it makes me angry about how easy it is for them to make friends, girlfriends and then succeed.
What did I do in my past life that was so fucking awful I have to endure this misery?
A few months ago thought I looked alright, not like some fucking animal alien, but the more I think about it the more I realise that the cause of all my female deprivation is 80% my looks and 20% my awkwardness or complete social failure, and I’m in a limbo between rage, but also understanding (I wouldn’t choose myself if I was a girl or anyone else). I envy those who communicate so effortlessly with people, it’s so evident and it makes me angry about how easy it is for them to make friends, girlfriends and then succeed.
What did I do in my past life that was so fucking awful I have to endure this misery?
