D
Deleted member 17578
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I am still on a bit of mdma-afterglow today, was walking around the city and local forest thinking over what happened at the rave yesterday with the JBs and all the drugs.
Made me realize how shitty all the dates I've been on really were, and even the girls I dated longer term how shit it all was. You get judged for everything: Your looks, your height, money, status, behavior, everything. It's an extremely shitty situation.
With the girls at the rave there was nothing like this. No judgement of how NT I was. I can act however I want. No expectations, just living in the moment.
You might think that looks are still important at raves, but this is not true. While I was high on ketamine, those girls completely changed form, shape, race everything multiple times. Your mind makes up what they look like, actual physical looks stop mattering.
At some point i was holding their heads tightly and it just felt and looked like we merged into this human puddle. Didn't even matter what they looked like anymore.
And when your mind feels love, they look like you want them to look like. Which was young prime JBs in my case. And I probably looked like some gigachad to them. I saw the way they were looking at me and I could see the love and desire in their eyes. It was insane.
One of those girls was just looking at me non-stop while dancing, didn't care about the insane light-show going on anymore. Just me. I was gigachad to her in that moment.
Dating women that aren't on drugs is a shitty experience for most men and not worth your time and effort.
And when you are interacting with girls on drugs, your looks don't matter much at all anymore since you look like anything their mind on drugs can come up with.
Also made me realize I don't like this shitty forum anymore.
People are too busy with mogging and having to act in a certain way to be liked by other people. When nothing like that is relevant when you are on drugs. Which is the only time on this planet that life is enjoyable anyways.
I am just going to enjoy reflecting on my experience at the rave for the next few weeks and plan my next rave. I don't care about anything else in life anymore.
JFL at working, studying, dating, socializing or anything else that doesn't have drugs involved.
I am too autistic and ugly for all of that. But it doesn't matter. I can live in my own world.
I wish you guys all the best
Made me realize how shitty all the dates I've been on really were, and even the girls I dated longer term how shit it all was. You get judged for everything: Your looks, your height, money, status, behavior, everything. It's an extremely shitty situation.
With the girls at the rave there was nothing like this. No judgement of how NT I was. I can act however I want. No expectations, just living in the moment.
You might think that looks are still important at raves, but this is not true. While I was high on ketamine, those girls completely changed form, shape, race everything multiple times. Your mind makes up what they look like, actual physical looks stop mattering.
At some point i was holding their heads tightly and it just felt and looked like we merged into this human puddle. Didn't even matter what they looked like anymore.
And when your mind feels love, they look like you want them to look like. Which was young prime JBs in my case. And I probably looked like some gigachad to them. I saw the way they were looking at me and I could see the love and desire in their eyes. It was insane.
One of those girls was just looking at me non-stop while dancing, didn't care about the insane light-show going on anymore. Just me. I was gigachad to her in that moment.
Dating women that aren't on drugs is a shitty experience for most men and not worth your time and effort.
And when you are interacting with girls on drugs, your looks don't matter much at all anymore since you look like anything their mind on drugs can come up with.
Also made me realize I don't like this shitty forum anymore.
People are too busy with mogging and having to act in a certain way to be liked by other people. When nothing like that is relevant when you are on drugs. Which is the only time on this planet that life is enjoyable anyways.
I am just going to enjoy reflecting on my experience at the rave for the next few weeks and plan my next rave. I don't care about anything else in life anymore.
JFL at working, studying, dating, socializing or anything else that doesn't have drugs involved.
I am too autistic and ugly for all of that. But it doesn't matter. I can live in my own world.
I wish you guys all the best
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