End of first love, in another words how to cope (longer thread)

ihearvoices

ihearvoices

Faustian spirit prevails
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/I got this in my student card inbox, it is translated into english via ai, excuse some mistake in case there are some/


“Between us, it’s over.” “I have someone else.” “I don’t love you anymore.” “I’ve met someone.” “It hasn’t been working for a long time…” You may have heard similar phrases or experienced them personally. They all share one word: BREAKUP. How do we cope with it?

Just one word, yet it hides so much pain, disappointment, fear, anxiety, and other emotions. These feelings often arise not only when we get dumped but also at the mere thought of it.

And what about unrequited first love? It can be very painful and intense, primarily because it’s a new experience. A breakup can feel like a tragic and fatal life event, filled with the fear that we may never love someone that deeply again. It’s difficult to endure, grapple with, and move on from. Unfortunately, there are cases where it leads to a tragic end.

So, what to do? How can we best cope with a breakup? What can help you feel better, and what should you avoid? This article will address these questions.

Between Us, It’s Over: Understanding Breakups
The term “breakup” marks a significant life milestone, especially concerning first love. The memory of it lingers within us. There comes a time when we suddenly lose our illusions. We believed we found our soulmate, and with that loss comes the end of all joy and meaning in life. Young people may turn to addictive substances or other forms of escape from uncomfortable emotions. They feel lost and isolated, wishing for it all to end. Parents and those around them often don’t know how to support them properly, sometimes downplaying the situation, which can cause even more harm.

Stages of a Breakup
It’s important to understand what we’re going through and that this pain will eventually end. A breakup has its stages, and we express emotions differently at each stage.

1. Denial – the most emotionally challenging phase, where we try every possible way to save the relationship.


2. Struggle with Emotions – now that we see the relationship likely can’t be saved, feelings of guilt, anger towards the partner, fear, and self-blame arise. We might feel like life has no meaning without the other person, cry a lot, and seek to escape the situation. Support from those around us is crucial at this stage.


3. Acceptance – a vital phase filled with hope. We come to terms with reality and start looking for a new path. The heaviest feelings slowly leave us as we begin to accept that it’s time to move on. We might create profiles on dating sites and new people enter our lives. We start to believe that things can get better.


4. Closure and Victory – at this stage, we view the breakup as a life experience and a lesson that can empower us, helping clarify what we truly want from a partnership. Although it’s still emotionally painful, we can see it as a valuable lesson that may lead to a more intense and meaningful future relationship.



How to Cope? What Can Help You Feel Better?
While we’ve explained that breakups can have certain phases, how can we navigate them with minimal pain? Unfortunately, there’s no universal guide or remedy for everyone. Each person and relationship is unique, as is the way we experience the end. Key factors include time, support from others, and self-care. Here are some tips to help you cope:

1. Don’t Suppress Your Emotions – Allow yourself to cry, be angry, and feel exactly what you feel. Choose your own way to express your emotions. It’s important not to suppress them but to let them flow to achieve relief and process your grief.


2. Ask for Support – It’s okay to seek help when you’re not feeling well. Talk to someone close about what you’re going through. If you lack that trust, consider professional help from therapists or hotlines. Talking about your struggles can bring more relief than you might think.


3. Avoid Contact with Your Ex – Right after a breakup, contact with an ex is risky, as it can lead to false hopes of reconciliation. Remember that the breakup happened for a reason, and seeing your ex before healing can cause more pain. Remind yourself of the reasons why the relationship ended.


4. Make a List of Things You Wanted to Do – In relationships, we often forget ourselves and spend our free time on our partner. Write down activities you enjoy or wanted to try and integrate one into your weekly routine.


5. Surround Yourself with Friends – While being with friends is supportive, ensure you give yourself enough space to heal first. Don’t rush into something you’re not ready for, and avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms. Listen to what you need.


6. Give Yourself Time to Heal – Recovery from a breakup takes time. Don’t pressure yourself or rush into another relationship. Healing properly is essential for moving forward.


7. Live – Remember that you have the right to your own happiness. This advice may seem unimaginable now, but it’s incredibly effective in the healing process after a breakup. Find joy in small things, smile at others, and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Seek new experiences and appreciate yourself. Life is too short to dwell in self-pity, especially during adolescence when there’s so much yet to discover.



Where to Seek Professional Help?
The first breakup is a key life milestone that we remember throughout our lives. It hurts but also shows us the path we should or shouldn’t take. If you find yourself confused and the above advice isn’t enough, consider seeking help from profe
ssionals.

Article continues with some paid advertisement stuff - I deleted it.

One one hand it feels like good advicd, one other i got feeling it is propaganda, epsecially on the dating sites, exlpore while young, pay for our therapy - i mean it is not necessarily bad thing.

Thoughts?
 
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  • JFL
Reactions: gods lonely man, mirrormogger, NoLongerHuman and 2 others
DNR.
 
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  • JFL
Reactions: NoLongerHuman, Sean o' Tist and ihearvoices
Somewhat deviously written, but it fits.
 
  • JFL
Reactions: ihearvoices
Thank you bro, I really needed this. God bless you
 
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Is it possible to manifest my ex/sp back together?
 
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