Even when I drink, I only get more aware of the fact how utterly disgusting mankind is and it scares me

[InanimatePragmatist]

I do not drink oftenly. It is a rare privilege when I do and it is always alone. I dislike drinking among other people, I prefer silence and the thinking of my actions over the last few months. Sometimes when I get emotional during drinking, it brings me a new perspective. It makes me thank life for the fact I am existing, makes me more docile and less annoyed. Yet at the same time, I see everything wrong with mankind and I still cannot unsee it, not matter how drunk I get, how amny times I puke or how many times I wake up feeling like I got out from another reality. People remain the same, they are infectous memes that retain the same spinal cord through out thousands of years. You can of course teach a horse to drink but will it choose too?

That is my issue with mankind. It is so broken, so simple minded and so childish it drives me insane. Sometimes I am childish too and I forget why, then I remeber I am merely fighting against the very cognitive existence of mankind. Let me make this simple, I talk with people and I can predict everything about them. I would have no issues being a shadow to mankind, to my homeland, to my nation or peoples but the fact that mankind is so selfish, mentally unstable and ill is what makes me hate them, not out of greed or envy just out of exhuasted pity. You will feel bad for a dog that bites your hand at first out of fear but when it does it again and again and again and again, you will slowly shift to wanting its head caved inwards till no sign of life is found.

 

[Luca_.]

mankind is doomed. I try to look away from the truth as I don’t gain anything from staring into it, I have much more to gain if I try to avoid that thought