Every time I feel suicidal, I feel like I am more suicidal than the previous time

[Deleted member 1901]

As in each time I feel it is more likely that I follow through. At this rate, I may die of suicide before I die of another cause. Ironically, I am longevity obsessed.

The emotional part of my consciousness wants to rope, and the rational part is aware of this threat and wants to ensure my safety,

 

[Krakowski]

When did you start feeling this way?

 

[Deleted member 1901]

When did you start feeling this way?

what’s this way?

 

[Krakowski]

what’s this way?

Wanting to rope

 

[Deleted member 1901]

Wanting to rope

Since I was 8 years old, did not understand myself or the world, I remember i always felt intense fear and could not sleep, I wanted to die because I knew something was wrong with me and everything was strange and torture and I felt so alone

 

[Krakowski]

Since I was 8 years old, did not understand myself or the world, I remember i always felt intense fear and could not sleep, I wanted to die because I knew something was wrong with me and everything was strange and torture and I felt so alone

Brutal, did you ever do something on it before?

 

[Deleted member 1901]

Brutal, did you ever do something on it before?

No I have always been too reluctant

 

[Deleted member 4397]

suicidality started at 7, curved up at 13, ramped up to new heights 18-19, curbed off last few years. roping is pointless past 18 (ideal), dont op ur a decently entertaining blogposter

 

[vermillioncorefan]

u should die
suicide is the best option
natural ways to go are too painful